oh horror, going out with new man and the skin on my abdomen looks like baggy crepe paper..

[allegrageller]

had ds2 11 months ago. DH and I are separating amicably. Am just starting to get interest from new bloke.

OK, so I thought I was so very confident and attractive and all that, & then I happened to catch sight of my stomach last night. Oh GOD. It looks as if it belongs to someone 60 years older. Not a portion of the lower abdomen that doesn't have stretchmarks, but the worst is the combined wrinkliness and looseness.

I immediately did some situps then gave up and cried. I actually feel as if I can't go out with him because I am such a total minger.

I know that if he objects to that kind of thing you nice mners will probably tell me he's 'not good enough' for me anyway but frankly, I fancy him and want him to fancy me. I don't want him seeing that and going 'errrr....'

What do I do, short of a tummy tuck? which I'm considering, frankly, if I come into a sudden flood of cash...

nice thought!

it's going to have to be my place, there's too much strategy involved here!!

And DH loves doggy so I flap alot lol

lol @ all the flapping and clapping comments

you could always tell him you are clapping at the brilliance of his performance

yeah disenchanted, think my skin problem is actually worse cos of the weight loss.

And I look reasonably shapely IN clothes now thus perhaps intensifying the shock of the awful revelation. Tights hold it all in too well

good thing if your dh doesn't mind the flapping 'n' clapping though! Lol

eek just remembered if it's at my place so I can control the lighting etc, where are the kids going to go??? aargh.

This is so much more complicated than I remember ' no strings' sex being...

don't worry about your tum!, he is soooo worried that you might think he has a 'small one' it will take his mind of any amount of 'clapping'

have a lovely time, go with morningpapers advice and get some lovely lingerie

Have the same "crepe paper" saggy look, and even though I have managed to get from a size 16 to a 12, my stomach still has a flabby pouch too! I was terrified at the thought of being naked in front of another man after I split with hubby, I was convinced they would bolt after one glance!

However, I have had a few relationships since then (with men who had no kids and had no experience of a post child body lol) and no-one has mentioned my stomach at all, in fact I have had compliments on the way I look! As another poster said, confidence is the key, that is what gives sex appeal!! Go forth and enjoy yourself and give your stomach not one tiny thought!!!

well i definitely have this problem and it is compounded by weight loss and in my cas eold age

i have managed to lure a young single man into having long regular naked sessions with me

which i had all sorts of avoidance tactics for but have been totally unable to keepup with keeoing clothes on as he just takes them off and he is a lot bigger fitter stronger and younger than me so i cant actually off a great deal of reistyancve

he has also started slapping my jelly tum as he finds the ensuing effect amusing or possibly sexy lol

he did sya i had to get a six pack for next i see him but i think this was a joke

i seem to have a couple of redeeming featurews to make up for the tummy and all the other yuk bits

so i am sure you will find the same

i find it quite statonshuing

By the way, here is a site for all of us crepey, saggy, flabby, stretchmarked, GORGEOUS mummies. We are amazing! Look in the archives section for more stories, but I will warn you, contains mild levels of female nudity in the photos, so don't look if you find that type of thing offensive !

and i bet he'll be worrying about his size / stamina/ technique/ gut/ breath etc etc!

what a great link btw...

my DH says i look far better than i have any right to, having had 2 kids within 16mths of each other.

although i won't be entering any bikini comps, i like my crinkly tummy in a way- and it feels all lovely and soft too. besides, my arse and norks are still cracking!

Do NOT try to do it doggy style in front of a mirror

you will cry

otherwise it will be fine

oh MP and lou already said that

it's always good to push this message home

what kind of place are you doing it in where you would have strategically placed mirrors

i declined the offer of doggy style but maybe with the poillow idea it might be feasible tho how you lot manage to hide your bodies i don't know

i dont but i am shameless

tho i do the pillow thingy

that was tmi wasnt it?

and in daytime turning the lights off isnt even an option

a blindfold might be a possiblity but that might just heighten the sense of touch

What about this:

www.agentprovocateur.com/jackie.php

They used to do another black one which was softer and looked really sexy, accentuating the waist.

TBH, I don't think he'll notice it. Men are totally ignorant when it comes to stuff like this. And as he's already shown interest I think he won't are.

Also, as before mentioned. If it'd be SUCH an issue to him you can forget about him. Who wants to be dating a vanity obsessed male diva?

Enjoy your date and have fun!!!

of copurse it just gets worse by the time your hair is all fucked up and ypou try to put make up on as soon as possible after opening your eyes ..there is no end to the stress

After three kids and two failed relatioships I had a tummy tuck so I really sympathize. I met my new partner after the surgery and although it gave me more cofidence I dont think it would have made any difference to him if my tummy and been wobbily.My advice would be concentrate on the bits you do like about yourself and stay confident because confidence can be one of the sexiest qualities someone has!

Why not just blindfold him ...some men like that

Pmsl at 'doggy' in front of the mirror. I have a 'sunken souffle' tummy, if I gather it all up with both hands. The kids find it hilarious when I do this (bastards)... not sure men would be so amused by it .
I never tried to hide it from my (then) new bf, though. Just strut around the bedroom like you're totally comfortable with yourself. Like FasterPussycatGirrl said, he'll be worrying about his own issues.

he won't care. he knows you've had a child. he won't expect it to be in tip top condition. if you act confident you look sexy and they don't even notice.