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Original poster

Old flame back texting me

56 replies

Championfancy · 28/02/2024 18:55

WWYD
I have posted here before about an old flame. We were on an off for a long time, it was never the right time for either of us

A year ago I laid my cards on the table told him I had feelings and that I wanted something with him but he was starting to see someone and for the last year he’s been seeing that someone. I actually deleted his number off everything a few weeks ago. Trying to start moving on, even though I have feelings still.

This morning I get a whole host of sexual texts and a pic from him out of the blue. Unsolicited, completely

I can’t believe how he’s disrespected my feelings for him (I’ve crashed all day) and now I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 28/02/2024 18:58

Block and delete

RandomForest · 28/02/2024 18:59

Oh go away, I bet your chuffed.

Anyway don't go near him, he's a user, his current relationship is floundering and he can't keep the effort up to keep a woman happy, so you're the fall back girl.

Don't be used.

Catoo · 28/02/2024 18:59

vodkaredbullgirl · 28/02/2024 18:58

Block and delete

Seconded

Original poster
Championfancy · 28/02/2024 19:00

RandomForest · 28/02/2024 18:59

Oh go away, I bet your chuffed.

Anyway don't go near him, he's a user, his current relationship is floundering and he can't keep the effort up to keep a woman happy, so you're the fall back girl.

Don't be used.

I’m gutted actually. Not chuffed. When his name popped up I thought maybe this was “it” …. So no you’re wrong it hasn’t left me happy

I just didn’t know if it warranted me calling it out or not.

OP posts:
Original poster
Championfancy · 28/02/2024 19:17

vodkaredbullgirl · 28/02/2024 18:58

Block and delete

You wouldn’t tell him he’s out of line?

OP posts:
pictoosh · 28/02/2024 19:20

Nah...indifference is much more stylish.

Original poster
Championfancy · 28/02/2024 19:23

pictoosh · 28/02/2024 19:20

Nah...indifference is much more stylish.

Really. Do try and remember I love this guy.

Do I not say (and block him) that until you’re single don’t message me because it’s not fair as I have feelings for you?

He did wait around an awful long time for me in the first place.

OP posts:
MaybeItsJustTimeToStop · 28/02/2024 19:27

No you just block. Block, block, block, don't engage, don't be needy, just block.

Wolfiefan · 28/02/2024 19:27

You love the twat who messes you around then sends sexual messages out of the blue? Give your head a wobble and raise your standards OP.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 28/02/2024 19:27

Agree, don't respond, block.

LemonDrizzle69 · 28/02/2024 19:33

When did he get together with his girlfriend? Are there kids involved on either side?

Original poster
Championfancy · 28/02/2024 19:34

He hasn’t got any children, I don’t know if his girlfriend has or not.

They have been together about a year or more now.

OP posts:
pictoosh · 28/02/2024 19:34

He chose someone else over you.
It would only be indifference from me.
But I'll try to remember you love him.

Original poster
Championfancy · 28/02/2024 19:35

Wolfiefan · 28/02/2024 19:27

You love the twat who messes you around then sends sexual messages out of the blue? Give your head a wobble and raise your standards OP.

To be frank I wasn’t all that sure in the beginning so I was a bit of a twaaaat too objectively. I can’t judge him on being not sure when I wasn’t in the beginning either.

But yes I guess sending me nudes now is a bit of a red flag. I guess he’d probably be doing that if he was my boyfriend too.

OP posts:
Lurkingandlearning · 28/02/2024 19:40

Those texts were disrespectful if he knows you love him. When you laid your cards on the table did you say that? If not maybe he thought you were interested more of a fun thing, in the which case the texts wouldn’t have been that bad.

If you did tell him you love him, he was an arsehole and I’d not bother explaining that to him because unless he has zero empathy, he already knows.

Comedycook · 28/02/2024 19:42

Don't overthink this. He's after a shag. Just block and move on

DrunkenElephant · 28/02/2024 19:43

DO NOT tell him to text you when he’s single - you’re basically telling him you’ll wait for him and be his safety net.

He had his chance, he didn’t take it and now he wants an ego boost?! Nahhh you’re better than that! In the bin with him!

#next

Hiddenvoice · 28/02/2024 19:46

Don’t bother replying to him, I know you want him to realise he’s hurt you but sadly it won’t bother him. He might reply and apologise but overall it depends on if he’s actually sorry or if he’s hoping after a few messages you’ll start flirting with him etc.

He hasn’t respected your feelings and probably just looking to use you which you don’t deserve. Block him so he can get the message that what he did was wrong.

Symphony830 · 28/02/2024 19:47

I’ve had someone come back to me a year after I ended it. He came back via a letter and the reason he did this is because he realised I’d blocked him on all available channels. Blocking and ignoring is a total power move as far as toxic situations are concerned.

He certainly didn’t come back with a series of nudes - and if I were you I’d go back to him and point out that it’s now a criminal offence to send unsolicited nudes and then block him immediately.

There is an old saying ‘When the past texts, don’t reply… it has nothing new to say’.

Move on OP and block him. I know sometimes it is difficult when you feel like you have unfinished business, but don’t waste any more time on a fantasy. He’s living his life - make sure you’re doing the same !

SamW98 · 28/02/2024 19:50

So you’re in love with a bloke who sends photos of his dick to woman while he’s in a relationship? What an absolute prince this one is.

Delete block and never contact him again. Hes got no respect for women at all

Original poster
Championfancy · 28/02/2024 20:03

I really do want to find someone of my own. I’m gutted it couldn’t be him. It took me
so long to figure out how I felt that it was too late.
He isn’t a bad guy. Just a bad situation

I guess I just felt like if I didn’t spell it out like I LOVE YOU I might always regret it (I skirted around it last time) but I guess life isn’t a movie and this isn’t a romance

OP posts:
Original poster
Championfancy · 28/02/2024 20:04

Hiddenvoice · 28/02/2024 19:46

Don’t bother replying to him, I know you want him to realise he’s hurt you but sadly it won’t bother him. He might reply and apologise but overall it depends on if he’s actually sorry or if he’s hoping after a few messages you’ll start flirting with him etc.

He hasn’t respected your feelings and probably just looking to use you which you don’t deserve. Block him so he can get the message that what he did was wrong.

He doesn’t actually intend on doing anything that much I know because I’ve seen him in person and he’s been very sweet and polite. He’s just being a typical manchild, he’s not a cheat.

OP posts:
FootOnTheGas · 28/02/2024 20:05

He's probable sending the same to all his other old flames, hoping one of them will bite.

Wolfiefan · 28/02/2024 20:06

He sounds less and less appealing with each update you post. Yuck.

DoYouWantToStartACultWithMe · 28/02/2024 20:08

Championfancy · 28/02/2024 20:03

I really do want to find someone of my own. I’m gutted it couldn’t be him. It took me
so long to figure out how I felt that it was too late.
He isn’t a bad guy. Just a bad situation

I guess I just felt like if I didn’t spell it out like I LOVE YOU I might always regret it (I skirted around it last time) but I guess life isn’t a movie and this isn’t a romance

You're not gutted. You were gutted until you found out he's Random Dick Pic Guy.

He's done you a favour by being a bell end really.