Man looks away whenever he sees me- why?

[Nowtsoqueerasvolk]

This isn't about a relationship but I'm not venturing into the battleground that is AIBU.

I've noticed that whenever I see a certain man who used to live on my street who I have never even spoken to, he looks away in a really exaggerated way.

What do you think could be the reason for this? I find it really weird tbh. The other day I was doing some job like sweeping the front path and I looked up and saw him and he looked away really exaggeratedly. This has happened many times now and I'm not imagining it.

I felt a bit upset because I thought it's conveying a message that I don't exist, I am a non-person. I'm not good looking and I wonder if it's a misogyny thing, as in this plain woman is not worth looking at or somehow offends my eyes?

I feel a bit like saying to him that if he has such a problem with my face why doesn't he walk another way, but I've never spoken to him and moreover I'm not going to. It makes me feel like I should wear a niqab (face veil) so I'm not bothering someone with my face.

What would you make of it? 🤔
No, he doesn't fancy me, before someone says that. On the contrary, it appears that this man that I don't even know has taken a random dislike to me.

What have I done, though, apart from being a plain-looking middle-aged woman? The only other thing I can think is that both him and his wife never spoke to me while they lived nearby, which is kind of unusual in this area (semi-rural).

Thoughts?

Maybe you remind him of someone he doesn't like.

How does someone look away in an exaggerated way?

Well he's clearly looking at you to know when to look away in such an exaggerated way. So it doesn't make sense that he has an issue with your face.

How annoying. I’m sorry I can’t think of any useful response. He may well have mental health problems so I wouldn’t want to risk provoking a worse response by glowering at him or turning away from him.

I’d ignore him and let him be his own problem.

Sending you a hug!

Perhaps he doesn't like you staring at him every time you see him.

I'd love to know this too!

If he does an exaggerated look away from every “plain looking” woman he certainly wouldn’t be able to cope in a crowded area. He’d probably give himself whiplash.

I’d just ignore it, so what if a random person doesn’t look at you?

Well, for example I was crouching down sweeping something up with a dustpan and brush and I looked up because I heard footsteps. If you imagine the road is straight and he's walking down it, he twists his head to the left to show he's looking away.

It’s easy if you don’t mind looking a fool! Try it in a mirror.

I had a neighbour who used to do this to me because she didn’t like me using the (legally shared-use) path she had tried to take over. I responded with a cheery “Good morning” because I wasn’t afraid of her. I’d be more cautious around a random strange man.

How are you looking closely enough to notice this? As you said yourself you have never even spoken to him. So to you it may be appropriate to make eye contact and smile (for example) just because you recognize him, but to him this may seem odd or overly familiar given that you don't actually know each other. Maybe he is trying to signal that he would prefer to just pass by without whatever unspoken communication you are initiating.

Maybe he has trypophobia and your nostrils upset him.

You would notice if someone twisted their head to show they're looking away from you every time they saw you.

Could be misogyny. Could be religion. Could be that he's incredibly shy. Could be that he's paranoid.

Whatever it is-it's his issue not yours. Smile and wave.

I think OP means in a pointed way. Slightly exaggerated.

Maybe he is very religious and avoids looking at women /finds you attractive so has to look away?

I know someone who does this- he has learning difficulties. He does it to avoid eye contact. You wouldn't know he has any differences to look at him, aside from this looking away when approaching others.

Maybe he heard some unfounded gossip about you and unfairly formed an unfavourable opinion? Or could he have overheard you having a private conversation or an argument or – I don’t know – putting a dog poo in a residential wheelie bin or something like that?

Could he have got the impression that you don’t like him?

It would bother me too, and I would also wrack my brains to try and work out what his problem is! There’s every chance it’s just him and based on absolutely nothing to do with you. He might just be an oddball, or grumpy.

He might like you but feel shy

I agree with PPs that you could drive yourself mad trying to understand why.

Nowt so queer as folk.

Maybe he's embarrassed that you caught him staring at you? Maybe he's autistic and struggles with eye contact? Maybe he's just really shy?

I think you're taking this much too personally OP.

I like the suggestion of just saying a cheery

Good morning!

whenever you see him. Why should you feel awkward!

So he walks down the street looking at you, and then when he sees you have noticed him looking, he looks away? How creepy. I would probably go indoors if I saw him coming. Why is he walking past anyway, if he no longer lives on your street?

It could be a through route to a main road, unfortunately. I have to walk past his house too because I have a storage unit (literally) round the corner!

So he probably wants to make it clear to you that he’s not staring at you or bothering you, because he’s aware that you can see him! Honestly, it sounds like he’s trying to reassure you he’s not a threat, rather than the other way round.

I don't think I do stare at him! I'm quite short-sighted and don't wear my glasses so I can't really tell who someone is until they're a couple of metres away, so I wouldn't really have a cause to stare as it's all blurry.