Calling children by the wrong name

[LemonSnake]

Bit complex. I have 3 sons from a first marriage aged 23-18 and now a daughter 2.5 and 1 year old son from a second marriage. The younger 2 children and 18 year old get on very well. Sometimes I can inadvertently call the youngest son by the 18 year olds name when describing something ie not to his face. My wife finds this insulting and disrespectful but for the life of me I can’t see why? Am I wrong or missing something?

I mean, if you looked her dead in the eye, smirking and called him by the wrong name deliberately every single time, I would see her point, but I think she's being a bit precious about it.

I once called my female tortoiseshell cat by my DP's name. For the record, he's a non-feline, hairy (rather than furry) human. I wondered whether I had accidentally made my coffee with vodka.

I don’t think it’s anything to get in a bate about. It’s something that happens all the time in families across the globe. I often got called Simon (cousin), Jessica (another cousin) and Binky (next door’s cat). I even got called Dougie once (Dad). My mother got so flustered she regularly went through half the family, including the dogs, before she got to any of us kids.

My mum has called me by my aunt´s name and her childhood friend´s at different times, especially if she had been on the phone to them. Now she has Alzheimer´s she sometimes requests I tell her my name and "the ins and outs of our relationship". I would be chaffed if she called me by my aunt´s name.

Your wife is over reacting - but probably is feeling this as a slight, that your default 'child name' is your eldest (and not your shared children).
It's not inherently disrespectful or means you love them less. It's just a slightly faulty recall from the 'kids names' folder in your brain.
My DD often gets called by her sisters name. Sister is my SD and it's me getting it wrong! So my default is my SD and not my own DD. SD doesn't even live at home anymore and hasn't done for a decade 😄😄

She is being bonkers. I regularly scroll through all the kids names before I get the right one, my mum.is the same. It's not that deep, in a busy life our brain goes into autopilot sometimes and gets it wrong 🤷‍♀️

My children are often called by the dogs name….

I assume you're older?

It'll come to her too but probably not getting names right is confusing to her just now.

It's because, psychologically and emotionally, they reside together in your brain. Both are probably labeled 'son I love' in your head. My dad used to go through all of our names before he finally settled on the correct one :-D

What does that say about me calling my sons by my female dogs name……. 🤣🤣🤣

I dread to think! 😂