Is my boyfriend weird ?

[twinkle2525]

Hey guys...
here for opinions...

Been seeing my boyfriend just over 2 year.
I have 3 kids who I share with their dad. He is childless. In his own with 3 cats lol

Sometimes he stays at mine and when I've not got the kids il go & stay with him.
Anyway. He has 3 cats that he took with him from his 12 year previous relationship...

His cats have the whole run on his massive house 24 hours a day. Each to their own. One of the cats shreds massively. His bed is covered in cat hair (other than that he is ocd and very clean)
In the night all 3 cats sleep on the bed and they will climb all over me through the night & sit on my head etc. wakes me up all night.
If he shuts the bedroom door they scratch at it all night to come in & that makes him angry so he lets them rome.
I've told him nicely I don't them climbing on my all night n jumping on my head in the night and he says it's their house and they time that's it????
Am I being un reasonable ????

He also says they must be fed every 7 hours so this affects our days out & freedom. The cats are 10. He also sits and gives them cat food pouch after pouch until they are all full. It's all just odd to me. I love animals but....

Very simply if two people have a completely different approach to their pets (or child rearing, or money, or anything else fundamental) then without compromise that could end the relationship. It's your choice OP to decide your boundaries and whether to continue with the relationship or not.
Personally I don't think your BF is weird, here is a picture of our bed to horrify you. But DW and I agree on this so it isn't an issue for us.

If you change your mind give him my number OP.

That is my dream life. I’m jealous of your beautiful kitties!

Don't you ever think beyond the next date in the relationships? At some point the OP and her DP are likely to want to live together as their relationship continues.

It's not weird if you are a cat owner. Believe me. You can see from the replies that people with cats tend to adore them.

People without cats don't tend to understand it. I don't have a cat, I don't understand letting them sleep on your bed and shed everywhere. So I wouldn't date a man who has cats etc. that's fine. You either have to accept it or ditch the relationship.

You should have said they were dogs OP. Everyone would have been queuing up to agree with you and tell you how disgusting it was. 😂

I let my cats sleep with me as well as they ruin the carpet if I lock them out, but a few things about your post concern me:

• never de flea or de worm them? That’s cruel, get some borderline drops
• if he knows you have issues with the bedding being gross and still doesn’t make an effort to change them just before you come over? That will make me question how much effort he wants to put into me
• feeding at set times? No problem, there are automatic feeders for that

What does " he is ocd and very clean" mean?
Does he have diagnosed OCD or have you accidentally insulted the millions of people who have been diagnosed with the mental debilitating disability of OCD?

I'd say this is pretty normal for a cat owner 😂

Really? I know plenty of cat owners who are great hosts.

Presuming you wouldn't been keen on kid goats roaming the house either😀our latest one loves coming inside

@twinkle2525
I have always lived in house (apartment) cats who do not go outside. So - for me it's completely normal to have my clean cats "freely roam" my place 24hrs a day. Locking them up in any room would seem cruel.
But my cats are clean - brushed and occasionally washed. And vet checks them regularly and does de-everything.
I don't know what I'd do if I lived in a house and cats could go outside. I know if I had a dog - I'd wash their paws after every walk - but that is not possible with a cat.

I don't think it's fair to say - "IF HE LOVED ME HE'D ...." - because what you are suggesting he does is (in his eyes) mistreat his pets. And to him - in the absence of children, those are the creatures he is attached to and responsible for.

I also don't think you have unsurmountable differences. It's more the standard of cleanliness and care you are talking about. I do not think he'll object to your suggestion he grooms them more often. Or take them to a vet to de-flea, etc.

As to sleeping arrangements - I'd learn to push them off you. This is what I do with mine if they clamber on top of me - and they move to the foot of the bed.
Feeding cats every 7 hrs is not required - but if that's what he wants, there are automated feeders.
So - you can resolve most of the issues. If you both try to work together and find a way

Generally - I think taking on pets to take care off - speaks to his good nature. Cats are old by now so they won't be around forever. If you like him - I'd try to find a mutually acceptable acceptable workaround - including not sleeping over his place too often, and waited my time.

i was going to say it’s just that he’s a cat person and you’re not, but he doesn’t flea and worm them? Thats just a bit shit frankly.

Lots of cat owners let them have run of the house and sleep on the beds. If the bed is covered in hair I wouldn't be getting in it though.
Ps: is he actually diagnosed with ocd or just clean and tidy? Because the former is a very debilitating mental health condition so shouldn't be used as a throwaway term for someone who is tidy.