Is my boyfriend weird ?

[twinkle2525]

Hey guys...
here for opinions...

Been seeing my boyfriend just over 2 year.
I have 3 kids who I share with their dad. He is childless. In his own with 3 cats lol

Sometimes he stays at mine and when I've not got the kids il go & stay with him.
Anyway. He has 3 cats that he took with him from his 12 year previous relationship...

His cats have the whole run on his massive house 24 hours a day. Each to their own. One of the cats shreds massively. His bed is covered in cat hair (other than that he is ocd and very clean)
In the night all 3 cats sleep on the bed and they will climb all over me through the night & sit on my head etc. wakes me up all night.
If he shuts the bedroom door they scratch at it all night to come in & that makes him angry so he lets them rome.
I've told him nicely I don't them climbing on my all night n jumping on my head in the night and he says it's their house and they time that's it????
Am I being un reasonable ????

He also says they must be fed every 7 hours so this affects our days out & freedom. The cats are 10. He also sits and gives them cat food pouch after pouch until they are all full. It's all just odd to me. I love animals but....

Well then by your logic he doesn’t love you enough, and on that basis you can leave the relationship. And he can find someone who’s not going to hate on his lovely pets.

Exactly. If my kids jumped all over him at 3am!!!! Aldi he tells me I should never sleep with my 5 yr old son but cats are fine

I'm with you @twinkle2525, I like animals but I wouldn't want dogs on the furniture or animals on beds. Saying that, I don't think your BF is weird, some people are like that and it is his house.

I think is overfeeding them though. There's a few friends cats I'll pop in and feed while my pals are away and it's one small tin or a pouch a day. With some dry food out too they don't even eat all of that.

Well this isn’t going to go anywhere long term is it? Bin him and his hairy friends. 🙈🤣

It's impossible for us to know if the setup is weird or not.
I agree with pp that the cats can't be expelled from his room on your nights they won't get it.
Can you see him for the evening and sex and then go home?
I have 2 dogs and I love them sleeping with me but I don't love the hair and the disturbance (they like a chat at 3am) so I don't do it. Your bf likely can't/ won't change the catty routine so if I were you I'd slip away to me own bed.
I wouldn't mind that though (I'd enjoy the quiet morning) which in some people's opinion will make me weird ...
I don't think you're wrong though OP. It's horses for courses.

Generally I'd say its unusual for any animal to be jumping on your head at night, though I can see how cats walking over you, might wake you up.
He has 3 cats so pouch after pouch until full is unsurprising - they don't individually contain much food. Odd that he'd use pouches, a ridiculous price compared to tins and useful for 1 cat, but with 3 a tad pointless. 7 hour feeding is odd too, I suppose he wants it all eaten at each sitting, most people leave a bowl out for a while - a bit of kibble is OK, though wet food, it's understandable not to want to.
Cats are pretty independent animals, so the attachment is more from his side, to the extent that he treats them above your needs when you are in his home. For some reason you tolerate it. Yes he's odd to do that, but it's odd that a person would put up with someone who does that too?
He should have them out of the bedroom when you are there, if they scratch at the door, then shut a downstairs door. But no, it's you who has to put up with it.
I say that as someone who sleeps with her dog most nights - though he'd have no issue with sleeping elsewhere and he'll only come to bed if I invite him 😁. I've had a cat in the past, quite aloof compared to a dog, they don't demand pampering so this is all from him.
Your choice ultimately. My dog comes before a man, but he knows his place, and so do I.

Sounds like heaven to me 😍

Why should you never sleep with your five year old? Who made him the expert in parenting?

I wouldn't stay over there and I'd want a bf who could come out for longer than 7 hours

My solo cat is allowed on the bed but only with a big throw on. I don't want fur on my duvet either.

I mean you will get fur with having a cat but it's called keeping it clean and vaccing. Regular washing of blankets Etc.

Cats are actually pretty clean. Otherwise my cat would mucky on her very white legs and paws. However, we still clean up a lot obviously because that would be gross!

However I agree with this. Tell him to get an automatic feeder.

Who would want a cat jumping on their head at 3am ! I'm with you op!

Automatic feeder for cats, sleep separately and shut your door...problem solved.

No way would I be able sleep with a cat climbing over me sounds awful and cat feeding impacting a day out seems too much

I can't believe these replies.

Yes, OP, he is weird.

I personally used to love it when my beloved kit would jump onto my chest at 5am, but I wouldn't expect a new partner to feel the same! Let alone a bed covered in cat hair, or cats being fed pouches every 7 hours.

I think he's weird for inviting a guest to sleep over in a manner that he knows prevents their restful sleep. He's being a bad host.

I love cats but I wouldn't let mine disturb my own or my guest's sleep, whether that person was staying over in my own bed, or a guest room.

I don't think there's anything wrong with leaving a cat to miaow in the hallway for a bit, until they get the message they're not welcome in a particular room for whatever reason at that time.

They're cats, they have their own fur coat and plenty of soft warm places to sleep in the house. It's okay to be apart sometimes, especially out of consideration for the person you've invited to share your bed.

If there was a guest room, I'd go sleep in there after sex, if he wanted the cats with him. But then I'm fully in favour of separate rooms anyway, if you can afford it. But if he has one he should've offered it already.

I find his expectations and his response disrespectful too OP, not attractive to me at all. I'd probably be out tbh. Or at least carefully weighing up his redeeming features, and our future compatibility.

If he has a spare room I’d be sleeping in there! Sorry, no way would I share the bed with cats, especially if they may / may not have fleas agh

I couldn't set foot in that house, tbh. Even just reading about it is making me feel sick and want to scratch my skin.

I started shutting the cat out of my room at night for the same reason. She scratched at the door for a few days which was annoying but she gave up eventually. I'm sure they'd figure it out if he gave it some time

Even my wife knows that the cats outrank her.

I'm with him.

Cats were there first and if you continue like this will be there longer than you, too.
I get that it‘s annoying to you but it‘s unreasonable of you to expect him to stop the cats from sleeping in his bed if he likes it that way..
He could get an automatic pet feeder though?

Saying that your 5 yr old shouln‘t come into your bed anymore is what makes bf weird. Not even after a nightmare or when sick?

The food thing is weird, but re the cats there's not much you can do at their age, they've learned they can come and be in the room, and when barred they want to get in and scratch etc.

😂

That is fucking disgusting. What is wrong with people?

A friend of mine lives like that. I haven’t stayed at her house since the night I rolled over in bed and got a mouthful of cat hair.

I don’t know how you tolerated them crawling on you through the night even once.