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Original poster

Is my boyfriend weird ?

89 replies

twinkle2525 · 23/02/2024 17:59

Hey guys...
here for opinions...

Been seeing my boyfriend just over 2 year.
I have 3 kids who I share with their dad. He is childless. In his own with 3 cats lol

Sometimes he stays at mine and when I've not got the kids il go & stay with him.
Anyway. He has 3 cats that he took with him from his 12 year previous relationship...

His cats have the whole run on his massive house 24 hours a day. Each to their own. One of the cats shreds massively. His bed is covered in cat hair (other than that he is ocd and very clean)
In the night all 3 cats sleep on the bed and they will climb all over me through the night & sit on my head etc. wakes me up all night.
If he shuts the bedroom door they scratch at it all night to come in & that makes him angry so he lets them rome.
I've told him nicely I don't them climbing on my all night n jumping on my head in the night and he says it's their house and they time that's it????
Am I being un reasonable ????

He also says they must be fed every 7 hours so this affects our days out & freedom. The cats are 10. He also sits and gives them cat food pouch after pouch until they are all full. It's all just odd to me. I love animals but....

OP posts:
gamerchick · 23/02/2024 21:26

Tbh while I agree with you it is his house. I wouldn't stay there.

Mines locked out of the bedroom, she's a pain in the arse during the night with her sitting on my head and walking up my body n jumping off over and over again.

I'd go home or I'd sleep elsewhere where there are no cats.

SeaBlueSky · 23/02/2024 21:29

Of course YABU. Find someone who feels the same way about animals as you do.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 23/02/2024 21:33

MILTOBE · 23/02/2024 20:52

I couldn't set foot in that house, tbh. Even just reading about it is making me feel sick and want to scratch my skin.

Bet your one of those people who claim they wash their bedding 3 times a week too. 😂

Hibernatalie · 23/02/2024 21:33

I don't know if he's weird, I think you're just different. No way in hell would I sleep in a bed covered in cat hair and have a cat in the room let alone jumping on my head in the night. I think it's fine to have cats in the room if you like it though - so I guess you just aren't compatible on this issue.

Baguetted · 23/02/2024 21:36

I love cats and dogs and have several

they do have the run of the house apart from bedrooms..

our bed is for me and husband and I ably shared with small children when needed

cats/dogs can lie all over us throughout the day but not in our bed

Bec945 · 23/02/2024 21:41

I find it nice he is obviously so caring about these cats. How can someone bring attentive and loving be strange?

Justleaveitblankthen · 23/02/2024 21:43

Sorry OP, I had to chuckle at the image of a random cat sat on your head 😂
I had a cat that would do this, she would 'massage', nibble and bite my hair - even more so if I dabbed a spot of peppermint flavouring on my scalp 😻

Sorry, am digressing and zero help.

I'll get me coat..

kalokagathos · 23/02/2024 21:45

You arrived too late. This won't change

Opentooffers · 23/02/2024 21:56

So there you have it, yes he's weird and so are you a tad maybe for needing to ask a forum for backup. Have courage of your conviction. His behaviour would give most the ick without needing a 2nd opinion.

Janetime · 23/02/2024 22:00

For gods sake, jealous of his cats and he doesn’t wish your kid to sleep with you, cringing for the pair of you and your behaviour,

StarDolphins · 23/02/2024 22:06

You are being unreasonable. He’s looking after his cats properly, what’s not to love! They were there first!

My ex (when he got comfy) text me to say (about my cat that I’d had before I met him) ‘we need to rehome the cat, ‘It’s’ ScrTching the carpet’ then when I protested, gave me a choice of the cat or him🤣

Be grateful he’s responsible. Thanks f you don’t like it, move on.

FPCculture · 23/02/2024 22:11

MariaLuna · 23/02/2024 18:12

Any man that isn't "house proud", i.e. taking care of himself and his home is a no no from me.

Shows he's slack in other areas of his life. Big red flag.

Is he looking for a maid? i.e. you.

When did she suggest he gets her to clean ? She also did say he is very clean and OCD . It's just the fat hairs

Namechange666 · 23/02/2024 22:26

Lookingoutside · 23/02/2024 21:17

That is fucking disgusting. What is wrong with people?

A friend of mine lives like that. I haven’t stayed at her house since the night I rolled over in bed and got a mouthful of cat hair.

I don’t know how you tolerated them crawling on you through the night even once.

I have a cat and never once have I rolled over and got a mouthful of fur.

That's actually vile. 🤢 Bet you wanted to be sick.

Noseybookworm · 23/02/2024 22:42

twinkle2525 · 23/02/2024 19:04

Thanks all....
great that he loves his animals but if he loved me he'd accept I don't want them all over me at 3am.
Just like I don't let me dog sleep on bed pissing about when he's at mine. Mutual respect.

Also doesn't help that he never fleas & worms them and last week had a whole house flea infestation that cost him £100 to sort. Wondered why I was itching when I went there!!!!

Also his cat litter tray is next to his own toilet. So when I go for a wee I'm sat next to a cat dump.

I love him dearly but it pees me right off it's like a farm

I wouldn't have spent one night in his house 😱 but I'm not a pet person so the thought of 3 cats in the bed grosses me out completely! Can you actually see a future with him if you have such very different ideas of what's acceptable with pets in the home?

marathon123 · 23/02/2024 23:01

I love my cats but I would get the ick with this man, those are some needy cats, has he not heard of automatic pet feeders? …but at the end of the day it’s about what you each compromise on and how you communicate….at the 2 year point you would expect you know each other well enough to sort this out like adults. Nothing worse than a cat sitting on your chest at 5am to wake you up ,I like my sleep so our cats get put to bed downstairs at mine!

Linlithgow · 23/02/2024 23:05

Odd....

Nanny0gg · 23/02/2024 23:17

twinkle2525 · 23/02/2024 19:04

Thanks all....
great that he loves his animals but if he loved me he'd accept I don't want them all over me at 3am.
Just like I don't let me dog sleep on bed pissing about when he's at mine. Mutual respect.

Also doesn't help that he never fleas & worms them and last week had a whole house flea infestation that cost him £100 to sort. Wondered why I was itching when I went there!!!!

Also his cat litter tray is next to his own toilet. So when I go for a wee I'm sat next to a cat dump.

I love him dearly but it pees me right off it's like a farm

He's gross. (I've always had cats)

You are not compatible and you cannot let your kids stay there

What future can there possibly be?

Devonshiregal · 23/02/2024 23:50

twinkle2525 · 23/02/2024 18:11

🤣🤣🤣 no it's minging. I'd never have it at my house. I'm being labled as animal hater on here though I reckon. I just see it as lack of respect.

What’s the aim in this relationship? Because if it’s long term another ten years of not being priority, second to cats, you’re maaaybeee going to come resentful. You planning on lasting out til they croak?

really out of order to let animals crawl over someone you’ve invited to stay at night. (Not to mention unhygienic.) So what it’s “the cats’ house”?

honestly no ew. Definite ick for a man who puts his girlfriend second to a cat.

Mmhmmn · 24/02/2024 00:46

Cats running your life. Crazy cat guy. No.

SwordToFlamethrower · 24/02/2024 00:49

I have a cat and he is either out all night, or locked in the lounge. No way i have cats waking me up in the night!!

He is unreasonable. Cats are pets, not humans and they don't have human rights to sleep in your bed.

aurynne · 24/02/2024 05:56

Amazed at the number of posters who seem to genuinely think it is impossible to stop cats from sleeping in your bed... Cats are highly intelligent animals. You lock them out and after some days of meowing and scratching, they will sleep elsewhere. A spray with water if they become too persistent in the scratching and meowing also helps.

It's not impossible, it's just that the owner does not want to kick them out, which they are perfectly in their rights, however just say so, instead of acting as the cat being in bed in utterly unavoidable by divine orders.

Tatonka · 24/02/2024 06:02

Yuk, any kind of animal hair is so disgusting. Also the smell. Ick. It's would be a no from me.

Missingmyusername · 24/02/2024 06:07

It’s his house, not yours. He’s not bringing them to your house, so I don’t see the problem. He obviously loves his cats.

MiltonNorthern · 24/02/2024 06:11

Once cats have got into a habit it's almost impossible to change it so YABU to expect him to shut the cats out if it results in them scratching all night and damaging the carpet. It's not how I would live my life but you're the one choosing to sleep there. Where is this relationship going?

Grimchmas · 24/02/2024 06:14

Missing the point I know but how does he stay over at yours if he's feeding his cats every 7 hours? That's (e.g.) midnight and 7am, by the time he has driven from his to yours then snuggled down that's not many hours sleep before he had to get up and dressed to go drive home to feed his cats.