Long term single people

[candyperfumegirl2]

Has anyone else been long term single and just accepted that whilst they are open to a long term relationship dating just isn't for them?

I find the whole dating process time consuming and just not that enjoyable. Being messed around, the ghosting, being someone's option until something 'better' comes along. All the apps are the same just doctored differently depending on the platform.

Most of the men on these apps aren't even single for a start. Lie about their age, single status etc.

How long have you been single? I’ve been single for 7 years but I don’t get a chance to date, lone parent, so no chance to date, I’ve had to accept it.

Single 4 years and I’m the same in that I hated dating. After coming out of a very long (23 year) relationship I meet someone who had a lot of mutual friends and we dated for a couple of years, splitting in first lockdown.

I’ve tried OLD and I hated it. Everyone says enjoy it, it’s fun but I found it painful and boring. And like a lot of women, just got sick of the sleazy men and the lies.

Tbh if I meet someone now all well and good not I’m genuinely not that bothered anymore.

@LilBus Since 2016. I realise its better to be single than with the wrong person.

@SamW98 I think the only people that enjoy OLD are people who genuinely like social media and are extroverted. I loathe pointless small talk and have the same tedious conversations over and over again. Life is hard enough with everyday living and i feel i don't have the energy for OLD anymore. Maybe because i am older (39) but I'd rather spend my time going to the gym or doing my garden etc.

I was single for ten years before meeting DP. I also found OLD appalling and humiliating. By the end, I was desperately alone until I met DP on an online game. Not everyone's preferred way of meeting a partner but it worked for us!
I do think being an "older" dater (I'm also 39) means you need to find someone who meshes with your styles and hobbies - far too much hassle to mould into something you're not.

@candyperfumegirl2

Im 55 so I’m really old 😀 I hate small talk as well and going over the same tedious messages over and over again on for them to try to turn to chat sexual every bloody time. Or they’ve got the communication skills of a plank of wood and think ‘lol’ is a decent response.

Im actually really social and love getting out and about but it’s with people I know well and we already have loads to talk about. I’ve got mates who can literally walk over to random men and start conversations but thats just not me and it’s never going to be.

@SamW98 I am sociable on a one to one basis or if i know the people already well. One of the reasons i like walking groups is that you do an activity you already like and an added bonus you may meet someone you click with.

Single for 15 years, CBA to date lol

Single for over 21 years. Both kids in their 20's now so could easily date but couldn't be bothered. I love being on my own. In fact I'm taking myself on a solo weekend away in 2 weeks & im living for it.

If I met someone they'd have to be willing to leave me alone most of the time hahaha

@FknOmniShambles Agree completely. For example someone into clubbing, partying, drinking just wouldn't work for me. I can only speak for myself but i am not into big age gaps either. I dated someone 17 years older when i was 30 but looking back he was just too set in his ways and too old fashioned 😂

I prefer other millennials as we have more in common and generally don't tolerate bullshit from other people!

@vodkaredbullgirl Can't say i blame you lol

@Alsonification Hope you have a nice time on your solo weekend away!

Thank you. I cannot wait! It's a hotel in Galway, 1.5hours drive from my home & it's got a pool & jacuzzi & sauna. It's not far from Galway city which is my fave city ever so I'll have a lovely shop around & then back to the pool.

Single for 7 years. Raising my boy. Tried OLD and it was a disaster so I am que sera sera about it all now

Me! I'm quite happy being single but would be open to a LTR. I remember meeting one guy on POF and one of the first things he said was 'you need to put more pictures of your body on', he told me I was overweight. I was 10 stones at the time 🙄 I really am overweight now and I think it's put me off and I say oh I'll try again when I lose weight, which will be never the way I'm going 🤣 Generally though I just find online dating a waste of time.

I’m 58 this year and a single mum. I do sometimes think I should try the dating websites but I don’t do small talk , can’t be bothered with the putting myself out there bit 😂 I’d rather get a dog I think. I also think my son’s dad has put me off for life. I’m sure there are some nice men out there but I’m not sure where you find them

@Lovelycupofcoffee No idea but probably not wasting time with OLD 😭

Lone parent here and have no desire to ever share a home with a man again now. I love my own home, bed and space too much.

Great to see so many other women also happy and content not feeling pressured they ‘should’ be in a relationship.

@candyperfumegirl2 someone at work mentioned she’d given that a go and it didn’t work out .

@fedupenough I think it generally is a waste of time unless you just happen to be lucky.

No one enjoys dating, it’s just (pretty much) the only way to find a relationship. I spose you could also join every community group going and ask every person you met to intro you to the single people they know.. but ‘being open to a relationship’ is unlikely to get you one, life not being the movies.

It’s a numbers game, you have to keep at it.

If I did ever meet a man, I definitely would never cohabitate again. I love my own space and peace far much and I wouldn’t give that up.
Separate homes is the way forward.

Absolutely. I did happen to meet one ex boyfriend on there, but he ended up cheating on me and when I saw messages on his iPad, deleted them from his phone and tried convincing me I was seeing things to the point I requested interventions for my 'hallucinations'.

I agree. I know there’s people who have met partners online but I don’t know a single person who’s had a positive experience.

It might be our age (50’s) but every one of my single friends has never met anyone suitable through OLD. It’s quite awful how many older men are so sleazy towards women.

If I became single I assume I'd stay single.

I have zero tolerance for pornified men and that seems to be 100% of them!