Page 4 | He's just hit me

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 10/02/2024 11:36

Get out safely.
Take a photo of your face.
Report to the police.
Contact women's aid.

SS will support you and your child and try to keep you safe.

You can't risk your safety and that of your children by not reporting it.

None of this is your fault.

StaunchMomma · 10/02/2024 12:00

SS will help you, OP. They'll only worry for the kids if you decide to stay with him and, considering he could have killed you tonight if he's stayed on your chest longer, I'm seriously hoping you're not looking to forgive him.

You need to think about the long term. If you split, he will ask for visitation with the kids. Do you want that, knowing how aggressive he is when he drinks? If not, having this logged with the Police will really help.

I'm sure it's really hard to take everything in after what you've just been through but please do try to ingest the great advice you'll get here.

Hope you and the kids are OK.x.

wronginalltherightways · 10/02/2024 12:01

Please get the police involved, Please.

And call Women's Aid.

Boomboom22 · 10/02/2024 12:05

HistoryBufff3 · 10/02/2024 08:27

With all due respect, this is absolutely not always the case. If she doesn't feel able or ready to leave him they will take the children. I am talking from first hand experience. You only want social services involved if you've already left or are certain you're ready to and know you won't go back.

Many women have lost their children to social services through domestic abuse. I know one personally whos child was adopted despite her leaving and living in a women's aid refuge.

OP. Get out first and then report the bastard.

Show quote history

Yes, because they were not cabaple of putting their kids first and leaving. They put the man above the children. The final one you mention must have done that too many times before the refuge for that to happen. Ss leave kids in awful situations all the time.

Shiningout · 10/02/2024 12:17

Another reason to report to police with evidence is if you end up in a custody battle he may try and control and manipulate people into thinking you're mentally ill or abusive yourself. Reporting is the best thing to do op as hard as it is

QueenConsort · 10/02/2024 12:21

Hi, I have a post running too. Happened to me on Thursday, I called police. They are being very good to me and have bailed him that he can't contact me.

Please do the same, I was surprised how kind they have been

QueenConsort · 10/02/2024 12:22

It may help to read my thread to see the process x

Mama2six · 10/02/2024 12:48

Call the police! Take photos of the redness of your face. Iv also had social services involved, I asked for them. They came and helped me get rid of him by moving us away and closed the case as I had made sure the kids were not going to be anywhere near him I’m happy I got my children to safety and he can’t affect them. Do what’s best for your children and yourself op

2boyzNosleep · 10/02/2024 13:25

HistoryBufff3 · 10/02/2024 08:27

With all due respect, this is absolutely not always the case. If she doesn't feel able or ready to leave him they will take the children. I am talking from first hand experience. You only want social services involved if you've already left or are certain you're ready to and know you won't go back.

Many women have lost their children to social services through domestic abuse. I know one personally whos child was adopted despite her leaving and living in a women's aid refuge.

OP. Get out first and then report the bastard.

Show quote history

That way of thinking and advising not to involve police/social care is wrong and dangerous. Unfortunately a mother's love for her children is not enough to protect them if they stay in these situations.

I cannot comprehend the heartbreak of that happening or the strength needed to leave the relationship.

Keeping your children in danger within an abusive relationship is exactly why they should be removed, as you are not acting in their best interest. Even if the children aren't physically abused, there is a huge impact on them and future relationships.
.
The OP should act now while it's happened, otherwise it'll be harder to prove as time goes on and to also show that she is a reasonable protective factor able to make the right decisions and put her children first.

Social care put in a lot of support and it takes a lot for children to be removed and an even higher threshold for them to be adopted. At that stage multiple agencies would have been involved, evidence has to go through court and it's an absolutely last option. In these situations there are a lot of things that the parent has not done despite multiple chances and they choose to not share that fact.

Betterbuckleupbarbara · 10/02/2024 13:38

This is extremely triggering for me because if my mother had called the police the first time, she would have saved me from life long trauma.

Like another poster said, you will have failed to safeguard your children by allowing this abusive bastard not to face the consequences of the horror he is and will inflict on you.

I hope you are safe.

Catpuss66 · 10/02/2024 13:52

HistoryBufff3 · 10/02/2024 08:27

With all due respect, this is absolutely not always the case. If she doesn't feel able or ready to leave him they will take the children. I am talking from first hand experience. You only want social services involved if you've already left or are certain you're ready to and know you won't go back.

Many women have lost their children to social services through domestic abuse. I know one personally whos child was adopted despite her leaving and living in a women's aid refuge.

OP. Get out first and then report the bastard.

Show quote history

No way their children were adopted even though she left him. I am sure you have only got the information from her. She might have been abusing/ neglecting the child herself. The threshold for adopting a child out is quite high, sure there had been years of input, SS try to keep a child with their biological parents, but if the support, guidance changes nothing, then & only then will they allow adoption.

Suchagroovyguy · 10/02/2024 13:53

I hope you got out, I hope you managed to photograph your injuries and I really hope you reported him and that the police acted.

QueenConsort · 18/02/2024 13:37

Hi, how are you getting on?

idrinkandiknowthings · 19/02/2024 12:32

I see this time and time again in the course of my job. One girl continually went back to her abusive partner and then eventually he killed her. She was 21.

He will not change. Please, please, protect yourself and your children.

goldleg · 19/02/2024 12:38

Captainspaulding · 10/02/2024 01:10

Dc not here I'm in daughters bed he's just hit me 4 times in the face with his phone, dragged me off the sofa and put all his weight on me so I couldn't breathe I can't phone police they'll contact social services

Women's refuge asap

Secondstart1001 · 19/02/2024 12:43

Please call police and child will not be taken from you from social services. This isn’t safe. Delete your browser history so he can’t see your thread on here. Worried for you op.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 19/02/2024 13:00

it's now 9 days later, the OP never returned.

Secondstart1001 · 19/02/2024 17:22

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 19/02/2024 13:00

it's now 9 days later, the OP never returned.

That is scary I hope she’s ok

UltraHorse · 16/11/2024 16:53

Went to a refuge years ago sounds like that's where you should go Don't stay with someone who has hit you repeatedly
There are men around who wouldn't hit you

Singleandproud · 16/11/2024 16:55

Zombie thread - this is from February

🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️

Boomer55 · 16/11/2024 16:56

Just go to your relative’s house and then work out what to do next.💐

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 16/11/2024 17:01

Please make a police report - you may find you need a record of the assault later on.

Edit nevermind- just seen it’s an old post 🤦‍♀️ can’t delete