He's just hit me

[Captainspaulding]

Dc not here I'm in daughters bed he's just hit me 4 times in the face with his phone, dragged me off the sofa and put all his weight on me so I couldn't breathe I can't phone police they'll contact social services

Good call OP, get yourself to somewhere safe and then think about the next step, one thing at a time. The only other thing I would say is, before you make your decision about whether to report to the police please bear in mind that without a report you will have no evidence to back you up if/when it becomes necessary to protect yourself/DC from him later down the line. The more information there is on file the more likely you are to get support/protection via police, social services or the courts when you need it.

Stay safe, OP.

How frightening. I hope you are OK and you got out.

I hope you have managed to get out safely. Don't be afraid of SS. They will be able to offer you support.

Hope you’re safe now OP, that is completely unacceptable, social services are not going to punish you, they can help you get away from this guy (so can women’s aid). Stay safe

Why are you scared to have social services involvement?

Call the police. Please report this

So sorry OP, please report this to the police, they will know how to deal with this, you cannot subject yourself and your children the more violence from this man.

Agreed. You need to protect your child! Social services (where I used to work) will want to make sure you and your child are safe from him.

Good luck OP, wishing you well.

You need to report it to the police. It may happen again and you need it on record. Hopefully you intend to split and this could form part of the picture of what custody will look like. Ss will help you and support you, their priority is that your children are safe.

Omg OP, I hope you're ok and amanged to get to the grans house?!
Sending lots of love at such an awful time :(

Hope you are ok

Men like this are abusive and highly toxic. He'll be full of apologises once sobered up and promises he'll never do this again, or worse he'll blame you for his actions.

Unfortunately men like this won't ever change. For you and your child's safety you need to leave and get away. Aggressive men will continue and the violence will escalate. It's an extremely dangerous situation to be in. 2 women a week in the UK get killed by a partner or ex partner, do not take his actions lightly. Death is a very possible outcome of your current situation if you choose to stay.

Sadly police do not seem to do much to protect women. Womens aid and Refuge charity would probably provide you more support - they are here to help in these exact situations.

Wishing you strength love and courage during this time. You deserve someone so much better than this, nobody ever deserves violence regardless of the situation.

Oh sweetheart, it's heartbreaking hearing you are less scared of a man who beats you than social services who will help you get free of this abuse.
Please reconsider calling the police today.
Womens Aid will also help you.
I hope you and your children are safe today and always 💐

How are you feeling this morning? Social Services will react far better if you contact them now, rather than wait until it's been carrying on for a while.
These things don't just go away, I speak from experience unfortunately.
I had a ton of help from SS or CS after calling the police on my ex.
Please call the police.

You need to call the police. Your DC at with grandparents this time…. What about the next? You shouldn’t be scared of social services getting involved you should be scared he could do this in front of DC or worse and aim it towards your DC. Protect yourself and your children

If you don't call the police hopefully one of the neighbours or your children's school etc. Will

Someone needs to protect the children

If your child is living in a home with domestic abuse then why would you not want the support of social services to help you leave the relationship safely, organise emotional support for your child and you and ensure the police are taking appropriate action? I appreciate social services are scary but if you really do want to achieve the same things as them they’ll be a great support.

Please don’t rationalise that he “only“ did this because he was drunk.

Yes, his judgement was impaired by alcohol, but that made the situation even more dangerous - he put his weight on you so that you could not breathe. He has just been very, very lucky that he didn’t cut your breath of a second too long.

If I were a man who did something like this to my partner and mother of my children in a moment of weakness, I would want her to call the police. I would want every ounce of accountability to ensure that I never put her, both as a person in her own right, and the mother of my children, in danger again. I would be doing everything I could to get free from drink, and to independently prove to myself, social services and the courts that I am a safe person to be around my dc. Because their safety and security is everything.

I wouldn’t be making excuses, trying to cover anything up, or deflecting blame away from myself.

Be very clear OP on what a good man, a good dh and a good dad is.

Much love to you OP. I hope you are safe and have space to think. xx

Once your shock has worn off please call the police. Of course social care need to be invvolved- what if he starts hitting your children? Only because he's drunk is an excuse. Why are you more concerned about social being called? They will help you keep you and especially your children safe.

Social services would never remove a child from a mother who is escaping domestic violence, they would only do that if you stay with him op.

The only reason OP would not want to get them involved is because she isn’t planning to leave him. If they become involved she will have no choice so that will be why.