An American dating a Brit

[BebeG922]

Dear All,

I am American and new to London. I am in first real relationship post-marriage and my boyfriend is British. We have been dating nearly 2 years (long distance at first and now closer). Though we both speak English, I have found our English very different. Just the other night, he asked me to express fondness as we cuddled.

Excuse me for being dense i.e. thick, though I know and understand what "fondness" is, it is simply not really how we speak in the USA 😂

He has also asked me today via text whether I still "cared" for any of the men I have dated.

What did he mean? LOL

Any help in dissecting his English is greatly appreciated.

TIA

Cuddle me like you actually mean it, or don't bother, and do you still fancy any of your exes?

Oh don't be ridiculous, you know exactly what he means.

He sounds quite formal... I wouldn't talk like this either.

Is he joking? Just laugh and ask him what he's on about.

@PermanentTemporary I think the formality is because he is a bit older than I am, and from a different generation 😅

I am trying to figure out whether the language barrier is just "English" or also an age gap.

I'm Scottish and I've not got a clue what express fondness when cuddling means lol!

The Second part I think he means do you still fancy any exes?

The way he has spoken is a bit weird! How old is he?!

Hi Wowzel,

he is in his 50s😂I presume because he is this age he speaks this way?

Sounds weird - was he born in the 19th century?

Is his name Jacob Rees-Mogg?

No OP. I'm 66 and dh 64 and we certainly don't speak like that 😁

Have you time travelled too?

Asking if you still have feelings for an ex over text is cringey 😬

I think the fondness thing really depends on the context - I would take it to mean hug me like you actually mean it, but that's based on the imaginary scenario in my head.

I guess he could also mean whisper sweet nothings / talk dirty to me, but I'd check he means this before doing it!!

He might mean heavy petting as well - it sounds like the kind of way an older married couple might refer to that kind of thing, and if he's been in a long-term relationship previously, he might not realise that the expressions he's using aren't as universally understood as he's assumed.

The only way to know for sure is to ask him what he's on about.

I'm 58 and as middle class English as they come, and I don't know anyone who would talk like that! Has he been reading too much nineteenth century literature?

"Express fondness when we cuddle"

Does he mean making mmmmmmmm and ahhhhhh noises perhaps?

Or

He has also asked me today via text whether I still "cared" for any of the men I have dated

= Do you still have feelings for any of them?

Or

Nomnomnomnomnomnom

Is this boyfriend called Mr Darcy and are you Lost in Austen?

This can't be real.

I’m a dual national who is both American and British (grew up in the US and lived in the UK for 15 years). I have no idea what either of you are talking about. 😂

Maybe this will help.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xQL8d5NTHlY

This is absolutely what he means

110%!

Haha! Certainly not a Mr. Darcy 😂

In all seriousness, thank you for clarifying. So it seems, I am not the only one who can't decipher his English. He laughs at me for being American.

Never heard of 'express fondness' you feel fondness, you don't express it as such.
I'm in my 60s - the generation of drugs and sex and rock and roll and punk - we aren't prim and proper.
I think you well know what 'care for' your exes means - unless you are trying to be quaintly naive, which is not a nice trait.

Okay. Well-noted and thank you! Now I can respond to him about his "English".