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Original poster

An American dating a Brit

62 replies

BebeG922 · 09/02/2024 22:30

Dear All,

I am American and new to London. I am in first real relationship post-marriage and my boyfriend is British. We have been dating nearly 2 years (long distance at first and now closer). Though we both speak English, I have found our English very different. Just the other night, he asked me to express fondness as we cuddled.

Excuse me for being dense i.e. thick, though I know and understand what "fondness" is, it is simply not really how we speak in the USA 😂

He has also asked me today via text whether I still "cared" for any of the men I have dated.

What did he mean? LOL

Any help in dissecting his English is greatly appreciated.

TIA

OP posts:
BMW6 · 09/02/2024 23:23

Tell him we all said "Hiya wanker"

DdyDaisyDaresYou · 09/02/2024 23:26

🤣

Clearinguptheclutter · 09/02/2024 23:27

BebeG922 · 09/02/2024 22:53

Hi Wowzel,

he is in his 50s😂I presume because he is this age he speaks this way?

I’m only slightly younger and don’t know what he’s going on about.

Original poster
BebeG922 · 09/02/2024 23:28

😂

OP posts:
elp30 · 09/02/2024 23:38

I'm American and I have a 55-year-old English husband and he certainly has never said that to me, ever!

@BMW6 I also thought he may be Jacob Rees-Mogg! He's in his 50's so it could be!

Original poster
BebeG922 · 09/02/2024 23:42

@elp30 thank you for sharing! I was really scratching my head for the longest time and thought it was our language differences. He's 55 as well.

@BMW6 Definitely not Jacob Rees-Mogg. He'd die if I even mentioned that as he's totally Labour 😂

OP posts:
decionsdecisions62 · 09/02/2024 23:47

Does he want a dirty video or something op? Express fondness! Weird. I wouldn't know where to begin with that one.

Musntapplecrumble · 09/02/2024 23:56

I've expressed fondness for extra dark Lindor...

Greensleevevssnotnose · 10/02/2024 00:01

Sharksarescary · 09/02/2024 23:03

Downloaded for Sunday looks amazing

RandomForest · 10/02/2024 00:16

Well I'd like it.

It shows he has intellegence.

It's not Gyles Brandreth is it ?

MissConductUS · 10/02/2024 00:21

Fellow American here. He wants you to jump him.

StarTwirl · 10/02/2024 00:22

No one ever says to express fondness

That's just bizarre

'Cared for' you would just say do you fancy any of your exes

Being in your 50's is young and we lived and partied during the 90's so we are definitely not an old fashioned demographic in the UK by any stretch

Maybe he's been very sheltered and not had many if any girlfriends

StarTwirl · 10/02/2024 00:23

MissConductUS · 10/02/2024 00:21

Fellow American here. He wants you to jump him.

Well that goes without saying

I mean if you're not shagging then why are you even in a relationship

StarTwirl · 10/02/2024 00:24

If you're only cuddling then this won't last long as adults

Rockschooldropout · 10/02/2024 00:25

Is he from the past ? I’m 52 and I’ve never spoken like that to my husband

IloveAslan · 10/02/2024 03:18

BebeG922 · 09/02/2024 22:53

Hi Wowzel,

he is in his 50s😂I presume because he is this age he speaks this way?

I'm in my 60s and I find it an odd way of speaking - the "fondness" bit anyway.

His second comment sounds perfectly normal, and surely it's not difficult to understand?

Lostsadandconfused · 10/02/2024 03:30

The fondness is a bit strange… I’d interpret that as he would like you to say something nice about how you feel about him while you’re cuddling. And I’m assuming cuddling as in hugging etc, not as a euphemism for shagging. You do know what shagging is OP?

I don’t agree with other posters that he is asking if you still fancy any of your exes. To fancy someone to me means you feel physical desire for them. To care about someone means concern for their wellbeing etc.

He sounds like he wants some reassurance of your feeling towards him. We all need a bit of that.

TheGreatGherkin · 10/02/2024 05:12

Asking if you still cared about any of your previous boyfriends is a bit worrying. Has he asked you how many men you have slept with?

therealcookiemonster · 10/02/2024 05:44

BMW6 · 09/02/2024 22:54

Sounds weird - was he born in the 19th century?

Is his name Jacob Rees-Mogg?

if his name IS Jacob Rees mogg, run for the fucking hills!

occhiazzurri · 10/02/2024 07:24

How old are you so that you refer to an age gap? Haven’t hear of anyone using such expressions in England in 23 years.

BMW6 · 10/02/2024 09:46

occhiazzurri · 10/02/2024 07:24

How old are you so that you refer to an age gap? Haven’t hear of anyone using such expressions in England in 23 years.

I'd say you've been abroad or in some sort of coma for 23 years!

(23 years also seems such an oddly specific number........) 😂

AgentJohnson · 10/02/2024 11:12

Ask him!!!! I have no idea what he means.

If you want this relationship is to work then you both need to communicate in ways the other understands.

Nanny0gg · 10/02/2024 11:21

BebeG922 · 09/02/2024 22:53

Hi Wowzel,

he is in his 50s😂I presume because he is this age he speaks this way?

Nope

It's him, not his age

OnlyYellowRoses · 10/02/2024 11:23

BebeG922 · 09/02/2024 22:53

Hi Wowzel,

he is in his 50s😂I presume because he is this age he speaks this way?

My husband is mid fifties and he doesn't speak like that, he's also from London 😬

SamW98 · 10/02/2024 11:54

Mid 50’s born and bred Londoner and I’ve never asked or been asked to ‘express fondness’

We grew up in the punk era and rave generation - not Dickensian times. I don’t know anyone who speaks Hollywood movie English 🤣