Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He took a week and a half to reply. Would you respond or ignore?

56 replies

Redvelvet84 · 05/02/2024 23:47

I had been chatting with a guy from online dating. We had been arranging to meet up.
He asked when suited me, I replied and then also asked him another general question about himself. He didn't reply for a week and a half and wrote that work was crazy and sick family member etc, but that he was keen to meet up still.
Would you respond to this? I did want to meet him but just feel like I would be a complete push over if I did.

OP posts:
Cloverforever · 05/02/2024 23:49

He probably had a date with someone else and wanted to see how that went first.

Muffin777 · 05/02/2024 23:51

He’s not that bothered and keeping you on the roster. It’s not worth pursuing, honestly.

Jillybloop393 · 05/02/2024 23:51

You'll probably get a lot of replies telling you to block him, but at this point, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, and keep in contact and meet him. Proceed with caution though - anything else that makes you feel uneasy, and that would be him gone! Good luck, let us know how it goes!

StephanieLampshade · 05/02/2024 23:54

No I wouldn't. It's rude and unfortunately if you overlooked it you've set a pattern for the relationship

Redvelvet84 · 05/02/2024 23:55

@StephanieLampshade yes I thought it was very rude of him as well. I asked him a direct question and he just blatantly ignored it for a week and a half

OP posts:
MindHowYouGoes · 05/02/2024 23:57

I think he was pursuing something with someone else and it’s fallen through so he’s back. I’d bin him personally - yes it’s online dating and supposed to be breezy in the beginning but that doesn’t mean ignoring someone for a week and a half then picking them back up with it suits. Disrespectful

StephanieLampshade · 05/02/2024 23:59

I think it's ok to want to feel that you're treasured and respected.

I just think he's blown it and I also very much suspect he'll do similar again. Just because in my experience most of us make the same mistakes over and over!

JodieFostersFurHood · 05/02/2024 23:59

Just block him.

letsbepositive2024 · 05/02/2024 23:59

Oh Op. We can all find the time to reply if we want to. You know this.

Trust your instincts

MYSTERIOUSGIRL2024 · 06/02/2024 00:02

I'd personally be very weary of the guy taking so long to reply back to you, no one's that busy with commitments to send a short message with a hay or nay to your text & it's so rude of him to take that long to reply back! He's basically let you down thinking you'll be cool with it & will be in future dates letting you down. If it was a dating site you met him I'd be cautious he's not married or keeping his options open if it was me on a dating site I'd be weary of that behaviour & gullible I'm certainly not that nor want to be treated like I am! It's early days so I'd keep your options open yourself & not rush into anything too quickly, play it by ear & always follow your gut instincts as your so soon in having doubts on his behaviour so maybe your instincts are telling you something! Good luck🤞

pizzaHeart · 06/02/2024 00:05

It is possible that it’s true, it might mean that he is disorganized generally so not an attractive quality.
I probably would answer but would be a bit reserved. A lot depends on the tone of his answer and how interested (bored) you are.

pastypirate · 06/02/2024 00:15

I might benefit of the doubt and if accept that people poly date. If he arranges and sticks to a date then fine but any further flaking then move on

shieldmaiden7 · 06/02/2024 00:20

My ex husband would ignore me for days on end. At home, work and wherever he would fuck off too. My friend said something to me which was the reality check I needed I was done.

Nobody is so busy they can't spare a minute to reply.

Its true. You're worth more OP

MyStarBoy · 06/02/2024 00:23

Yes, I would reply ‘Too Late Matey’ and then block him immediately.

He would’ve just continued to treat you like a doormat.

If the man was really interested, believe me he would have messaged you, no matter what was going on in his life.

Don’t listen to lame half-hearted bullshit excuses.

Avatartar · 06/02/2024 00:28

If his life is too busy before you’ve even met - there’s zero chance of squeezing a relationship into it is there? Prioritise yourself and move on

Raffaell0 · 06/02/2024 00:31

Don’t waste a single more second considering this one. Throw him back.

Needafriend14 · 06/02/2024 00:41

Respect yourself , block him 💯

WallaceinAnderland · 06/02/2024 01:10

He doesn't have basic manners.

He's not a keeper.

Guavafish1 · 06/02/2024 01:14

Nope ditch him

coxesorangepippin · 06/02/2024 01:51

No

Tourmalines · 06/02/2024 02:00

Reply in a week and a half , sorry , too busy .

Barleysugar86 · 06/02/2024 02:06

Actually I feel the opposite way. You haven't met yet, this is low stakes stuff, you can't get attached to people before meeting as it's so hard to know if the chemistry is there before you are face to face. I had better experiences with the slightly flakey ones at the beginning than those who came on too strong/ optimistic. Pre first meeting should be breezy and carefree. I would let this go and have the date. If he continues that way after a date then you cut them loose.

thebestinterest · 06/02/2024 02:07

NEXT

Rania78 · 06/02/2024 05:45

Barleysugar86 · 06/02/2024 02:06

Actually I feel the opposite way. You haven't met yet, this is low stakes stuff, you can't get attached to people before meeting as it's so hard to know if the chemistry is there before you are face to face. I had better experiences with the slightly flakey ones at the beginning than those who came on too strong/ optimistic. Pre first meeting should be breezy and carefree. I would let this go and have the date. If he continues that way after a date then you cut them loose.

I am going to agree with this. It’s just OLD, him and you talk with ither people, it’s not like you have a relationship or something. He can date others you can do the same.
Keep it carefree and go for a carefree date with a friend. Of course If he keeps doing it after 1-2 dates dirch him.

PARunnerGirl · 06/02/2024 06:04

No. Even if this was only early stages, carefree or simply sex, surely you expect someone to value your time and effort higher than this? A courtesy reply at the time explaining he was busy for the next week or so would have taken seconds to send.