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Original poster

He took a week and a half to reply. Would you respond or ignore?

56 replies

Redvelvet84 · 05/02/2024 23:47

I had been chatting with a guy from online dating. We had been arranging to meet up.
He asked when suited me, I replied and then also asked him another general question about himself. He didn't reply for a week and a half and wrote that work was crazy and sick family member etc, but that he was keen to meet up still.
Would you respond to this? I did want to meet him but just feel like I would be a complete push over if I did.

OP posts:
Lifebeganat50 · 06/02/2024 06:08

Who dis? 😂

Justleaveitblankthen · 06/02/2024 06:17

Nope.
He's setting his stall and seeing what he can get away with.
I would take 3 weeks to reply:
who dis? Like the PP said 😂
It always makes me laugh.

Jinglesomeoftheway · 06/02/2024 06:53

If you've been chatting online, it's hard to keep enthusiasm/momentum up sometimes - I'd go through periods like this guy of not feeling it any more but then having bursts of enthusiasm. If you've not met face to face he won't have any emotional connection to you yet.

I'd 100% go on a date and see what he's like, nothing to lose - just go for one drink! I think if someone ignores you after you've met up then that is indeed v rude.

EasternStandard · 06/02/2024 06:55

No I wouldn’t

SpringleDingle · 06/02/2024 06:59

Nope, I’d have written him off within about 48hrs. The dude is just not that into you and that isn’t something I find attractive.

Coincidentally · 06/02/2024 07:01

‘work’ and ‘sick relative’
No.
Don’t waste time on him.

SamW98 · 06/02/2024 07:39

No one is too busy to type a quick text response do to take over a week shows she’s really not bothered. I’d delete after 48 hours tbh

Just delete he’s not worth a minutes headspace. Or wait a week and reply 👍

Zanatdy · 06/02/2024 07:46

Don’t do it. Guy I was seeing last year used to take ages to reply and drove me mad. He would reply to something 3wks later sometimes. Last time he messaged me I didn’t reply, I don’t like playing games but seriously had enough of him. It takes seconds to reply so don’t buy these excuses. This guy sounds like someone who will be similar

Copperoliverbear · 06/02/2024 08:30

I'd reply and say, hope family member is okay but we will leave it at that thank you.

Betterbuckleupbarbara · 06/02/2024 08:40

I wouldn’t even waste the time blocking him, just ignore him and anything he messages.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 06/02/2024 08:43

There's so many sick relatives in the background when men go off grid isn't there.

Newgirls · 06/02/2024 08:44

Do men worry about sick relatives? Feels like a lie. I was going to say of course men are multiple dating so it’s worth saying ‘meet me for a coffee at this time’ and see if he makes the effort. But he’s lying already isn’t he?

Newgirls · 06/02/2024 08:46

Unless the sick relative is King Charles then maybe ok

Lampshadeblue · 06/02/2024 09:03

I’d say give him the benefit of the doubt here …but only until you’ve met him in real life. If he’s flakey once you’ve actually met, then yes, I’d get rid! Also when I replied I would make a passing comment to acknowledge how long it had taken him to reply, so it wasn’t totally brushed under the carpet.
I think as someone else said, it’s hard to keep enthusiastic/stay positive when online dating and he may just have been feeling like he wanted to take a few days not thinking about it, or he may have had another date and felt weird about messaging someone else at the same time, lots of possible reasons.
when I was online dating I lost count of the number of times I felt totally differently about someone after meeting them than I had done chatting to them online.
Whatever you decide, good luck xxx

helpnohelpno · 06/02/2024 09:05

I'd ignore and move on. It takes 30 seconds to answer a message and it is basic politeness. If this is him at the trying to impress each other stage it's not great.

Naunet · 06/02/2024 09:08

I don’t think I’d bother, either his life is too busy to date, or he was dating someone else and has lied about it when at this stage, there’s really no reason to. Neither are qualities I’d want in someone.

Original poster
Redvelvet84 · 06/02/2024 11:07

I've just deleted his number so I can't reply now.
I'm sick to death of flaky low effort men. I had sent him a nice text telling him when I was free and a bit about myself and then asked him about his job and he's read it and ignored it for a week and a half. I know we haven't met but it's just disrespectful. And then thinks he can get in touch and apologize a week and a half later and say he's still up to meet. Don't think so mate, jog on !

OP posts:
Shopper727 · 06/02/2024 11:14

Good for you op, if people are interested they want to meet up and get to know you.

I did plenty internet dating, I made the mistake of ‘chatting’ to people for too long they do it for something to do and have little intention of meeting up, or are one way minded, so I started making sure if I liked someone we arranged to meet no later than 2 weeks after matching otherwise what’s the point in endless chat then you meet and no spark it’s just time wasting and someone who really likes you will make the effort, as will you for them. It’s hard though op so hope you find someone who makes an effort for you v soon

muchalover · 06/02/2024 11:17

It's always someone is sick and work is busy. It's like a script.

Of course that meant he was not on his phone at all! 😳

He's told you that you're not a priority. When a bloke is keen you will know it.

Make decisions accordingly.

Original poster
Redvelvet84 · 06/02/2024 11:19

@Shopper727 thank you for your kind words.
I am so sick of the penpals and the intermittent texting , they disappear and then come back for an ego boost. I've had to learn the hard way myself and now I have zero tolerance for it. It's called a dating app because you're supposed to go on actual dates. Once I realize what they are doing and that they enjoy just passing the time texting, I disengage completely. It is infuriating though.

OP posts:
SpringleDingle · 06/02/2024 11:22

Good on you OP! Great boundary work. The right dude will not behave poorly.

Katiesaidthat · 06/02/2024 12:12

This happened to me. Unfortunately for him in the very long time it took him to answer, I had met my future husband. So when he did come back (obviously when the other dates fell through) I was no longer interested or available. Tough. Even if I had bee free, I wouldn´t have taken any more notice of him. He missed that train.

MyStarBoy · 06/02/2024 15:37

Good for you.

It’s a very good thing to have self respect in life.

If you don’t have it for yourself, you’ll find others won’t have it for you.

Good luck with finding the right one.

Mitherations · 06/02/2024 15:39

Good for you. You know exactly how keen to meet up he was, he was ignoring you for ten days and making sure you know you're fighting with work and family for his time keen. Not keen enough OP, well done.

ChristmasFluff · 06/02/2024 16:54

If he'd been honest and said 'sorry I'm so late getting back to you - you know what this dating lark is like!' or something like that, I'd meet up still. Cos you don't know eachother, so it's not a diss or anything.

But the crappy excuse would turn me right off, and show me he's not a quality person.

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