A young man I care about a lot, for many reasons. He is mid-20s now (I am late 30s, just for experience reference).
He used to be an elite athlete in his teens, but had to give that up eventually (when his performance did not measure up with others anymore) and get an everyday job, which he hates.
Has always been a bit of a loner (no real relationship yet, either), suicidal ideation, volunteers a bit around the career he no longer can have, but other than that has no social life to speak of. He often will just not respond to people's messages and decline days out, is depressed, but high-functioning. Sees his past self, where he was "on top" of everything, including being a high achiever in school, but now sees himself as a failure, which, together with his upbringing, explains why he often pushes people away, albeit politely. Wants to give up his current job, but has no future plans. Lives with his parents and hates socialising. Does show interest in exceptionally beautiful women and pushes away others who show an interest but aren't beautiful, so there is a shallow side to him.
Another man I know seems to show what this man's future could look like. Alone in a grotty bedsit, no friends, little contact with family, doesn't go out, has given up on his career because he has given in to his depression. Prefers to push friends away when he is in that state, just like the man above.
Both remind me of hedgehogs, curling up into a spiky ball when things overwhelm them in their lives. I am no longer in contact with the second man, however, I feel very protective over the former and a strong need to drag him out of his house kicking and screaming to show him what life can be like.
I know it's not my place to do so, but I care about him a lot. He knows I care about him and I make a continuous effort to keep in touch, but in a few months my opportunities to look after him will be greatly reduced for practical reasons. Then, it seems, he will have no one.
Should I leave him be and become the second man that I can easily see him turn into once he has pushed everyone away? Lonely and miserable, hating life and just waiting to die? Perhaps I'm wrong and he will snap out of it, but he said he's been like this his entire life. I'd have killed for someone to show me they care; I have been alone for other reasons, even if I wasn't always easy to love (platonically or otherwise). We have so much in common, too, mentally, that it feels wrong to just drop him. Seeing him like this makes me incredibly sad.