Making friends - where are all the women in their 30s?

[EarthSight]

As a single woman without children, who'd like to meet women of a similar age to me (30s), that live locally (at least in the same county)....where do I go? Almost everyone I've seen in volunteering groups (joined several), craft classes, swimming groups, ramblers/ walking and fitness groups, are all at least 65 years old and above. I can't join events orientated at young families or turn-up to play areas because well...I don't have kids!

However, I used to live in a city for years, and most people used to turn up to events in pairs or small groups. They seemingly had little interest in making conversation with anyone else, and I really don't blame them. It was the same in gym or fitness glasses - many people just want to put their headphones on and go home.

I've asked the same question several times. My 30s have now ended (socially, COVID didn't help at all as the few Meetups I tried died off). Still haven't made any local pals. I live in a sparsely populated area so all of the suggestions to join Bumble, Meetup etc. are great if there were enough people to run anything. Also the WI runs when I'm at work. I think I'll give the Parkrun a go but otherwise I'll just investigate being a hermit.

Maybe look at gyms which offer small
group PT so there's chat built into the session and a kind of shared purpose. I have been going to something similar for 6 months and now have people I really enjoying catching up with even just in sessions. If I had more time, I'm sure there would be a few that would turn into proper friendships too. It's a bit different to the usual gym where people just want to crack on with their own individual workout.

They're stuck at home with babies and children! At least, that's where I was from age 33-39.

• I belong to a great women's running group now that has members from 25-70. It really is very friendly and welcoming and while I'd say most of the members are over 40, there are some who are younger.
• Cycling or triathlon clubs can also be friendly places and as they're male-dominated the women often stick together!
• I started my own book group, because I couldn't find one and people are very territorial about book groups.
• Language or other adult education classes - these tend to be female-dominated IME.
• Small group exercise classes - yoga, HIIT, ballet, cross training. Crossfit is very friendly and our local one has quite a few women in their 30s.
• Knit & natter/crochet/etc groups
• Bell ringing
• Choirs - church or rock choir or whatever is available near you.
• MeetUp - a lot of MNers have had success making friends through that.

I've founf Bumnle BFF to be great. I guess it depends a bit on location though.

I did walking it fizzled out after month. I tried a coffee meetup and people non comittal. Didnt suggest dates. Felt disheartened so I just do things myself now. Its hard. People busy busy or flaky lol

Team sports club? Or common interest such as open water swimming (not for me but my cousin made many friends doing this), start a book club or similar?

I'm not sure, newer friends I've made have all been through work and are typically older but this doesn't bother me personally.

Yes I think it does. There's hardly anyone on Bumble here, and I didn't install it as their safety settings aren't safe with regards to location. If you live in a very densely populated area, then it's probably ok, but using it in a low density area in the countryside would like identify exactly where you live to people. It's would be the equivalent of telling anyone exactly which street you live on.

I find that with meet ups, everyone just wants to mingle. They all go around the room and chat to different people for a bit and then go to the next person. You don’t really connect with anyone.

I found that with meetup as well, it's harder to make deep connections. I also really struggle to make friends generally even once I have a possible social gathering, and often feel at a loss as to how to go from something like meeting regularly at the same group to actually becoming friends with a person. I have wondered if I am autistic or have ADHD, so perhaps that's part of it. I wish it was easier to make friends as an adult. Somehow in childhood it seemed a lot more straightforward for me!

Love Her Wild has a national group and also local ones - on Facebook

I'm of the same age group.

All my new friends who are around the same age are from the gym, choir and Church.

Basically, if you turn up regularly somewhere you ought to make friends.

Do any of you like cold water swimming? There's a group near me that's very sociable.

Also on Facebook look up social groups near you. I run a few for women and 1 mixed.

Or start your own local friendship group. Is there a women's well being group?

Churches are good for meeting people. Photography groups. Is there a local pub? See if there's a quiz night and try and get a team together or just go along and ask if you can join a small one?

Loneliness is crippling. I hate the thought of people being lonely. I'm super sociable and always include people. That's why I started the groups. I really do recommend starting your own. I don't really go to many meet ups but I know friendships have been made. I'm over friendly so do have a good few mates. I'm older though. I can imagine being child free makes it harder too.

There used to be mumsnet meet ups. I went to one in London it was a riot. I'm NE england so was a bit of an effort but worth it. Oh the stories 🤣

Good luck everyone.

Yes they're good.

Try the bumble for friends app. Like bumble but for finding like minded female friends. I’m 31 and have met a few people on it 😊

@Flower212 op said she's pretty rural and worried about her address being available? I wouldn't know never used it.

I think it might be useful if I want to meet tourists who visit my area, who want someone to walk with on their trip, but hardly anyone who actually lives here is on there and I'd like to make friends who live fairly locally. Also, a lot of women on those groups seem to want to do 5 - 8 hr hikes up and around mountains, to justify having to travel somewhere, and that's just not what I want to do. I've tried organising walks before along the coast, in beautiful woodlands, but no one's interested in those. I don't think a lot of women there find non-mountain walks to be sexy or Instagramable enough :/

@Ulysees Yeah it's a real shame. You basically have to tell it where you live as soon as you create a profile by switching on location permissions. It's not like I can enter a postcode of a local public building or something as an alternative. Just totally unsafe in my opinion.

@Ulysees I really, really don't like the cold, but it's been getting to the point where I'm wondering if this is what I need to do to joining a group that actually does meet up to do things, and that's sociable!! I have no interest in paddle boarding but I've been thinking of taking it up for the same purpose.

@lap90 Do you live rurally as well? It's mainly people 65+ plus that join most things here, not women in their 30s.

@ZeppelinTits I don't think children think so much about rejection. They're just less fearful, more open to new experiences, not passive aggressive, and play fewer mind games.

I don’t know what part of Wales you’re in but there’s something called the Lonely Girls club which has meet ups in Manchester, London etc. I haven’t been myself but their events look good.

Perhaps you could look into helping them open up a branch of that where you are or making something separate but similar of your own.

I've just been doing a bit of Googling and found this: https://citygirlnetwork.com/

Is there anything in there? They have rural meet ups too by the looks of it.

Ugh scratch that, just realised they only do Cardiff.

I think around early 30s to make new friends people have already established friends. People have got families and you don't always go out and socialise to meet new people. I think once you get to 30s people are more skeptical.

Not an option for me right now, and most rentals don't allow pets here sadly, but yes, I've seriously considered this!

Not sure you answered this but what do you do for work? Are there people there?

No advice @EarthSight but I'm 39 and in the same boat. If you're ever in London let me know!