think she likes me, she's just started dating another guy, wanna disclose: irl or text?

[seekingadvice1234]

hey mumsnet :) thought u might be able to help me... any advice really appreciated <3

situation:

UK m32 f25 we work together (I know I know) for a year and a bit.

honestly always liked her, I was in a ltr until around 6 months ago, thought about making a move since but wanted to give myself space to heal etc. also didn't want it to be a rebound thing - she's very very lovely.

still don't quite know if she likes me back, hard to read but definitely some positive signs.

she wasn't really involved with anyone for most of the time I've known her but now she's gone on a couple of dates with another boy...

I feel very strongly about this girl, I increasingly want to just say like, this is how I feel, if you are interested let me know.

regardless of whether this is a good idea or not (though any advice on that is appreciated lol) my question is...

should this statement be made in real life, or as a message?

I feel like in real life could be putting pressure on her to respond (also terrifying), but then a message is like a cop out? / would make it super awkward next time we see each other.

hindered by:

work together - don't wanna make work awkward for her.

friends - don't wanna explode friendship (also friendship group at work).

age gap - super wary of pushing anything at all cos creep factor.

motivation for disclosure:
think we could be really great together, this other guy sounds ok but yknow, so thinking I should say before it's too late / they end up a proper couple...

any advice (particularly from mid twenties women) super appreciated ty ty

It's like reading my 18yo's group chat with mates. I didn't think actual employed adults communicated like this. It's been both entertaining and not terribly credible.

On the off chance it is actually genuine, the fact that she has started seeing someone is what kicked you into action is a big red flag.

You "weren't ready" until another bloke was on the scene. Now you're full of love's young dream? For a lass at work, 7 years younger? Not a good look, mate.

The text speak is not remotely cute in a 32 year old man. Just stop it.

And no, don’t declare anything. Wait until she is single and ask her out for lunch / coffee / drink after work. Keep it low key.

If she likes you but doesn’t like coffee, she will say “ That sounds good but I’d rather eat sandwiches in the park / go for a hill walk “.

If she doesn’t want a date, she will say no and it will be less awkward than if you have declared your undying love and planned this most amazing high stakes event.

How have you got to the age of 32 and not worked this out yet ?

Surely there is absolutely no way that a 32 year old man is writing this

Nope, the illiterate man child vibe is not remotely cute. Sorry.

Just ask her for a drink. She says yes then winner winner if she's doesn't take it on the chin and move on.
What's the worst that can happen? She says no your world won't implode.
I would advise asking her face to face though as message could be perceived as a little creepy

Did you get lost? This isn't Reddit.

Yuk, just yuck!🤑- this whole thread and OP's childish writing style, peppered with almost undecipherable abbreviations, coupled with immature attitudes, has me wanting to reach for a sick bucket!

Oh my God…the “I hate men” lot invaded the thread 😂.
OP, you are absolutely fine. Just ask her out in a subtle way. Something is telling me that she would say “yes”.

This.

So does anyone else realise the OP is actually a teenage girl?

No way a 32yr old writes like that, the <3 emoticons were ridiculous.

I can’t think of a single reason why a 32 year old man would turn to MN for dating advice.

But it’s an anonymous forum - I don’t know who anyone really is here.

I'm kinda with @LenaLamont bruv. Sorry.

I agree with this.
Just ask her out ! All credit to the lad who asked my dd out clearly (over text but still well done ) he just said “would you like to go on a date with me ? “ in her case the answer was no, but she was grateful for the clarity, when you have friends of the opposite sex too it can get confusing.

Also good luck.
That is a pretty normal age gap too.

What is it with men that come to mumsnet asking for dating advice?
They all have the same ‘style’, they’re all apparently really unsure of themselves but often about to do something that really requires you to be white confident, like fucking up their work and friendship. They also put themselves across as if they’re really thoughtful, they hang on everything word said here, listening to all advice to the point they sound like a wet lettuce.

I never ever get a genuine vibe. They usually come in waves too, and again there’s been a couple of others I’ve seen already in the last few days. They often end up PMing posters and their intentions are not what they seem.

Hmm 🤔

**quite

Honestly reads like a teenage girl.

It’s not how everyone your age types, I am your age :)

@CompletedNetflix I mentioned this on another thread just this morning (and that guy appears to be in the US - but he somehow found MN for advice?). They're really ramping up just lately. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I shall :)

Gross.

They manage to be wet lettuces and also arrogant, they never listen to any of the advice given.

yeah fr came here cos tried reddit but it got buried, so thought hmm I need women's opinions, but seems at least 69% of these are concerned with style of presentation rather than content. odd but ok.

tysm tho deffo have given me food for thought, now if ever I am feeling good about myself I can read this thread and balance myself out :)

ttyl

smh :)

7 years is not a massive age gap!

Are you sure you are 32! Sound like a teenager, with your writing.