FIL gets too close for comfort.

[Teasie123]

I've been with my husband 28 years and this problem is not a new one. My FIL used to try and get too close and it ended up in him telling me he had a crush on me. I told him to sober up and go home. He was worse a few years back but stopped drinking and I stay well away from him even now. The slimy, dirty feeling he gives me just always makes me feel so uncomfortable. Now, there's a family christening coming up and I'm so worried that he LL drink. That's when he tries to dance with me and gets too handsy. Hate that he ruins my time with family like this.

This sounds dreadful. Have you told anyone about it, like your husband?

Don't dance with him.

If he gets "handsy" slap his hand away. Push him away at arms length.

Tell him to keep his hands off.

If he tries to argue about it tell him to Fuck Off.

You have two options. You don't go, or you completely ignore him and stay away from him at the christening. If he approaches, tell him loudly to fuck off.

Does your husband know about this?

No, have never told hubby. He loves his dad so much. It's not just me he does it to, he's done it to a lot of the non related family members. Don't know if I'm just being yappy, he hasn't done it in about 4 years. Although we haven't been in a social setting with them for a long time.

Hubby doesn't know, and he won't. Not from me....

But you need to tell your husband. I'd tell mine if someone was sexually assaulting me.

Why not? I’d have thought this was a very important thing to discuss.

You need to call him out on it when it happens, in a loud voice say don’t keep touching my arm it’s making me feel uncomfortable or you are standing in my personal space.
I think you also need to tell your DH.
My DM’s ex boyfriend was like this and myself and my SIL did tell my DM and my DM then said her friends said the same.

Why on earth wouldn't you tell your dh?

@Deathbyathousandcats , it's been so long, and he idolises his dad.

Maybe I LL wait and see how things go. If he does try anything then I LL tell.

Tell your husband and don't go if he's there. Or call out the behaviour

Then it's high time he stopped "idolising" his Dad.

What makes you so sure he doesn't know full well that his Dad is doing it and he doesn't see any problem with that?

Your body is your own and no-one on earth gets to touch you without your consent.

And that's how men get away with behaviour like that.

How does a grown man still ‘idolise’ anyone, especially a parent?

When you arrive at the event and everyone is saying hello...I'd say very loudly so everyone hears "oh hi fil, hope you'll be behaving yourself today. Hands to yourself"

How on earth has your dh never clocked his dad's behaviour which, from your description, sounds quite blatant? Surely if he's oblivious to the attempted groping he must notice how you are with his dad and wonder why you look uncomfortable/unfriendly?

So creep Fil has form for this I hope it's not brushed off as in, oh what's he like. Men like this need to be told straight.

How can you idolise your parents as an adult? One of the realities of getting older is seeing your parents faults, your husband doesn't get to avoid this because his father is a sex pest.

Tell him loudly to fuck off, to keep his hands to himself, to stop being such a creep. Tell him if he wasn't your father-in-law, you'd have him arrested. And tell your husband that his dad is a sex pest. Time for DH to remove those rose-tinted spectacles and see what his father is really like.

@Comedycook , that sounds good! I could do that ok. That way it'd be like telling him without actually saying anything.

I'd be inclined to say something loudly if he starts. My ex's stepdad was like this and used to often say crude things to me in front of my ex.

Absolutely don’t dance with him. That’s too weird and would also open you up to abuse.

Say loudly, 'Woah Bob! Get out my personal space,' the minute he gets too close. Turn down any request for a dance.

This is very bad advice. Women need to robustly stand up to this sort of behaviour not pussy foot around men like this. A quick, sharp word in his ear about going to the Police-he needs stopping in his tracks. Every time you pass it off, they get bolder and who knows who else he might be targeting? You have a responsibility to challenge this, not maintain the status quo.