Do you chat up men?

[Jamongranary]

Yesterday my bf ( 41 yo man, average looking ) told me that he constantly gets chatted up .
He can't even go shop without women stopping him .

Said it's not his fault , and he had to tell women that he has a gf so that they would leave him alone .

I don't think women approach men much , but i might be wrong ,
so do you guys chat up random middle aged, nothing special looking men outside ? i'm really curious now ( and upset about him bragging about that and felt like he is threatening to cheat on me )

If he had kept it a bit more realistic, maybe it would be a touch more believable but he’s either completely delusional or he’s lying. Either way, he sounds like an idiot. I expect he’s just told you this to keep you on your toes and make you think you have to try and impress him because he just has so many other options.

No! And I don’t know any woman who does other than my 81 year old mother in law! It sounds like he’s deliberately trying to make you jealous. What is your reaction when he says this to you? Does he get chatted up when you’re about, seeing as he’s so irresistible and all? Did you chat him up?

I’ve been married for decades but before that of course I chatted men up. But, I guess that he’s saying this to make you think he’s a catch 😂

No never which is probably why I’m long term single 🤣

I dated someone like this though who reckoned he couldn’t walk down the street without women trying to pull him and wanting sex with him - he was a deluded twat though to be fair. They say this crap to get a reaction and to make you jealous.

no i didn't chat him up , and im very upset . I actually didn't even think he is attractive but i liked his personality..
I tried to make it look like im not bothered but thats all i can think about now .

Is he getting chatted up now ? He says at work women clients apply make up for him and make sexual jokes ( he is a builder )

I never approached a man to chat him up..

Ha ha ha, no. Your other half is full of shit. (My DH - (now nearly 60) used to be like this, and it was the insecurity of other men chatting me up quite often when I was in my 20s and 30s. (And some hitting on me/asking me out.... and sometimes even when he was only a few feet away from me!!!) I was very attractive when I was younger - not bad now, but no supermodel!

He came home with tales every time he went out with mates, about how this woman and that woman had hit on him. (Apparently it also happened at checkouts, and outside shops and in shopping centres. Sometimes it was when we were out together, and it would happen while I was in a shop for 5 minutes.) #convenient.

I would go to a public loo when I was with him, and he would regale me with a tale of how a woman had come and hit on him in the 3 minutes I was away. Women at work fancied him, female neighbours fancied him la la la la la...

I believed him for a few years (oddly!) Then I had a sudden realisation after about 10 years that he was full of shit. Because I realised that I had never seen a single scrap of evidence to back up any of his claims that all these women fancy him/keep hitting on him. He did stop by around 40, (mostly,) but did still come home with the odd story of some women fancying him. Last one was the vending machine woman who comes to fill the vending machine at work. 😆(About 8 or 9 years ago.!)

He has always been so insecure and has always known he is punching with me. (Arrogant...moi? 😁) SO he made up shit about women fancying him. As I said, I have not since a SHRED of evidence to back it up.

But yep, women generally do NOT go around chatting up random men!! Your other half is lying/fantasising!

I do! If they're hot, it's worth a punt.

Bullshit. He's lying. I dated someone who told me women used to stop him in the street to chat him up/offer him sex. It's bollocks.

Chat up? or talk to. DM is in her eighties and talks to anyone, chatty lady but certainly not after anyone!

I think he may be deluded- bless him.

Is he that dickhead of a bloke that thinks if a woman talks to him that fancy him.

And that’s why he says it, to get you jealous and thinking like this.

Honestly he’s talking shit but he’s getting the reaction he wanted.

No, he's trying to play with your head!

On the other hand, I actually do get approached quite a lot by men. It's always harmless, and as soon as I say I'm not interested, most back off. This has happened sometimes when my DH is with me - we were at a bar and there was an empty seat next to me, my DH and I were sat together and a guy came and sat next to me and started chatting me up. My DH and I cracked up. My DH introduced himself, and the guy backed off. What I'm trying to explain to you is that even with all of that, my DH has never ever said anything like what your other half is saying to you because my DH doesn't feel the need to 'keep me on my toes'.

Hi OP. I am male, and I call bullshit. I haver never witnessed such behaviour on the scale your BF describes, even amongst my considerably more handsome acquaintances. I have seen the occasional approaches, but not on anything near the frequency your BF suggests. I think your BF is fantasising and perhaps twisting innocent routine everyday encounters to boost his own ego.

Like a pp I think that he mistakes eye contact, a smile or someone talking to him as a woman chatting him up.

Nah he's messing with you and its jot fair. Is this a long term relationship? It's giving me red flags I am afraid.

Does he have many redeeming qualities or does he regularly enjoy making you feel shit?

He’s full of shit and trying to make you feel jealous. What an absolute nobhead. 🤣

It's 3 years relationship, he has lots of good qualities but i'm actually thinking to dump him , he shouldn't have any problem finding someone else with all that attention.

He does enjoy making me jealous..

Yesterday he kinda crossed the line as i replied " well you seem over the moon with all that attention from ladies , maybe we should end this relationship then " and he looked cocky asking me if im sure and smirking .

He is jealous and insecure himself, asking me to cover up when we out , and constantly accusing me of cheating. It's exhausting..

He’s crudely trying to up his value to you with these whopping lies.

He might also be one of those tedious men who thinks:

If a woman smiles at me = fancies me
If she touches her hair = fancies me
Offers me a cup of tea = fancies me
Sits and one foot points towards me = fancies me

Of course not. Your bf is either lying to try to make you feel insecure, or he's one of those incredibly deluded men who misread every interaction with a woman too polite to tell them where to go as a sign of interest. I worked with a guy like that. Below average looks, middle aged and looked older, bald, paunchy. Always smiling and speaking to random women in the street, then should they politely reply or engage in small talk 'nice day' etc (he had a harmless friendly look about him so this did happen. ) he would make reference to 'fighting them off'.

Raise your standards. Dump the idiot

And that’s what they do. Tell you every female with a pulse wants to sleep with them yet if a man breathes within 50 feet of you, they throw a tantrum.

Insecure controlling jealous pricks behave like this not equal partners - think you’re right to be thinking of getting rid. I’m sure the queue will be out the door - not

I don't chat up men.

Though my exh said he was often approached on dog walks etc by women for friendly conversations.

I have witnessed it a couple of times when I had gone behind a tree for a wee or had gone to find one dog that had wandered off and came back to find him chatting away with a woman who did look irritated at my arrival.

He was a serial adulterer so. I can't be sure it wasn't him approaching them.

Anyway, even if your dp does get chatted up, I'm not sure what you're supposed to do with this information. Quietly seethe whenever he goes out?

He enjoys making you jealous.
He is jealous and insecure.
He tries to control what you wear, asking you to cover up.
He accuses you of cheating.

Just dump this controlling, abusing dickhead. You can’t actually want to be with someone like this.

Oh what a smarmy, game playing cock. Dump. I mean a lot of men think everyone fancies them it’s their over confidence but he is really trying to make you jealous and that’s gross. Loser.

You know what I think op? That if he is saying all this crap then it’s probably him who chats women up wherever he goes! Either that or he is either getting a kick out of hurting you or he’s delusional and thinks he’s way more attractive he is!