Too much for a second date ?

[Holibobby]

I went on a second date last night with really nice guy. He asked me to stay over I initially said no and he said I just want to spend the night with you I don’t want to sleep with you because I like you. I didn’t believe him but he meant it which was refreshing.

The date went well, lots of conversation and laughing and I do feel attracted to him. However, it felt very ‘relationshipy’ I don’t know whether this is because I’ve been properly single nearly 4 years and just been with shitty men in situationships, and I don’t know what to expect.

But he held my hand constantly which made me feel a little weird, then he had his hand on my leg while time, again it felt a bit much. I do like the guy and I did stay over - we didn’t sleep together but he was attached to me all night, forehead kisses. I guess I felt a little suffocated. He does seem genuinely just really interested in me so I don’t think there’s any love bombing etc. but is this normal for a second date?

I think give him a chance. He sounds like a decent person and maybe he’s keen. I’d give it another couple of dates.

Why do you care if it's normal?

He made you feel weird and suffocated; will you just put up with that, if it's normal? Why don't your feelings mean more to you than 'normality'?

I don't think it matters. You didn't like it. You don't have to be kissed on the forehead etc because some other people think it's normal.

Perhaps he has mistaken you for a Pomeranian.

God that sounds awful, him clinging onto you like a limpet 🥴

Why should anybody give someone a second date, if they made them feel weird and suffocated?

This, and also - it's not normal. It's presumptuous and weird.

That would be too much for me and sounds totally OTT full stop, never mind for a second date.

"Maybe" he's keen? He'd bloody better be keen, having demanded a sleepover on date 2 and spent the night kissing her forehead! I hope he's not now expecting her to chase him!

Edit: quoted wrong post, meant to quote the one it was quoting!

Please pay attention to your feelings, you felt uncomfortable and that his behaviour was weird and suffocating. That should be enough to tell you what you need to know.

It would be far too much for me but it’s a case of listening to your gut. By sounds of your OP you’re having doubts already so listen to your instincts, they’re normally right.

Yes it's a bit mutch. He's either pushy or desperate. But either way, if he's so touchy feely on a 2nd date, and space invading when he hardly knows you, he doesn't consider boundaries or doesn't care about breaching them.

This is the cinema date guy isn't it? At least you're still alive, you were worried about it being too soon staying over on second date!
It does sound very full on and smothering.
I'd still hold your horses thinking it's relationshipy he was gagging for it and hoping you would give in. It's very early days who know what his true intentions are but if you don't feel comfortable you need to tell him.

Sorry but the ‘I just want to spend the night with you’ and the constant touching and kissing so soon would give me the creeps.

If you both decided naturally to spend the night that’s different but I’d feel like I was as being pawed and that’s not attractive.

Too fucking touchy-feely (Gropey and irritating) and not listening to you when you didn't want to stay.

I'd have noped out of there, and I say that as a woman who happily had plenty of early sex when I was younger, but it wasn't like that.

Creepy - and I say this as a sucker for romance 😅
He hardly knows you and this is too intense. The head kissing is very intimate - IMO- and something you do when you love someone.

It's up to you but it sounds like your instincts are telling you something's off and it's a good idea to trust them x

Oh god just checked and it is the cinema guy after op said she wouldn’t be going back to his 😂🤦‍♀️

He asked her to sleep round his on the first date and she said she wasn’t going to she posted it on here and most people said not to but obviously did anyway 🫣

What do u think love bombing is if its not this. He isn't picking up on signals and he is suffocating you. On a second date.
Run.

Me and DH were like this on our second date and it was perfect for me because I felt really comfortable with it. You don’t feel comfortable, so it’s not right for you.

Please, please pay attention to the people on here telling you not to ask strangers if something is normal as a way of gauging what to do in this relationship. Nobody here can tell you the right or wrong way to feel. It has to come from your own needs and feelings. Ask YOURSELF whether it’s right for you. Not strangers!

Also, ignore people on here telling you this man’s behaviour is not normal. Poor man, of course his behaviour is normal. It’s just not compatible with yours.

Does he know the OP felt like that?

2nd date with my GF (still together 6 months later) I was gently stopped trying to take her jeans off. I guess for a second she felt uncomfortable but at some point you need to try things. Or should a man ask permission for everything, from holding hands, touching etc.? I mean when you're passionately kissing and hands wandering its natural. Yes, he should read things and detect an issue but sounds like he was being or trying to be affectionate, worth another date IMO

This, normal is whatever you are comfortable with. Not anyone else's view.

Personally that would be too much too soon.

@Cambsguy Yuck.

I agree with the first part of your post, but not the second. This isn't normal behaviour in the sense that it's not something that a typical man would do, and it's something that would creep out most women.

If he was "attached" to you all night, it sounds like you were close enough to him to have felt an erection.

I don't think it's normal for a man to snuggle up close to a woman he's attracted to and not get an erection - irrespective of whether he "uses" it or not - unless he's got some kind of sexual dysfunction.

His "cuddles" seem very non-sexual from how you are describing it, with him snuggling up to you like he might do with a dog or a young child. Did you do anything sexual? By that I don't necessarily mean intimate, but passionate kissing and touching at least? Did you sense he was horny but holding himself back, or just wanted to be comfortable?