Hi, after years in a dysfunctional and deeply unhappy relationship, I finally told DP I want to separate. My fear has always been that in breaking up the relationship I am hurting the kids, my actions are selfish etc but over time I’ve come to realise that growing up in a home where parents can’t get along, show a lack of respect for one another - that is deeply harmful in itself.
We have two DCs (6&9) and he has shown very little interest in caring for them on a day to day basis. He is now saying he wants 50/50 custody which has come as a massive shock to me and would mean I wouldn’t receive any child maintenance from him. I am also tied up in knots about being away from the kids half the week, esp as I have done 99% of the caring since they were born. I am also concerned about his ability to parent to a decent standard half of the time.
We currently live in a rented property which he will stay in. I will look for a flat close by so schools, friends etc won’t be affected.
Since speaking with DP, a huge weight has lifted but I am panicking now about how I can survive financially. We live in London and I work as a teacher, but I am newly qualified and my take home pay is £2400 pcm. 2 bed flats locally go for £2k plus per month. I believe I may be entitled to some UC but is this a dead cert, or might they refuse my application? I have no savings and don’t own any property.
Apologies for the brain dump. I’m relieved to be at a point where I have finally spoken to DP and got the ball rolling but the 50/50 custody and lack of financial security are keeping me up at night. Any words of advice gratefully received.
Thank you