(Ex) boyfriend repeatedly ending things. Help me stay strong this time.

[petnameforme]

I've been with my (now ex) boyfriend for 18 months. He has met my two children and they really love him. He's broken up with me maybe seven or so times in the last six months. One way or another we always end up talking again and before long we're back together. He can be very self aware, and he keeps promising to change. It has got better (the break ups were less often and less severe) but yesterday he ended things again, and this time he has blocked me on absolutely everything.

I absolutely know deep down this is a good thing and I should work on my self esteem before I try another relationship. But I love him a lot and I'm scared to be alone. Can anyone give me encouragement / stories of finding stable love when you're a mum with a full time job and 50% custody of your children? I feel so hopeless right now.

He will never change - right?

OP - No is a complete statement. No, he will not change and No you shouldn’t accept him back.

Stop him putting you and your children through this again and again.

Bless you. It's ok to have a wobble but do try to stay realistic.

If you had taken him back, he would have broken up with you already by now. Probably a few times. So you've already avoided that.

Plus he would have upset you how many times by now?

All those days in that alternative reality of being upset and humiliated that you've saved yourself from is something to congratulate yourself over. You might have missed him, but that's so much better than dealing with that frantic panic when he discarded you over nothing.

You're doing so well! Keep going! 🌺🌺

So both your ex H and this current waste of space have realised you're scared to be alone, and this is the card they have played? Your ex did it verbally, and this 'man' is doing it physically.

I'd advise you to swear off relationships for a good few years. Abusive people can easily see your Achilles heel, and they will not hesitate to use your weakness to get what they want from you.

Get comfortable with your own company.
Develop your own strength as an adult woman.
Develop friendships.

Thank you so much for your support on this thread!

(FYI for those commenting now - we've been no contact for 6 weeks, I just updated the thread to thank / reply to a poster as I had been reading her responses to fortify myself)

You're very welcome. I'm on three months of no contact now.

That means three whole months without being insulted, dumped, coerced, listening to a tantrum, shouted at, or anything of that sort.

I can't believe I ever put up with it!

I'm really proud of you for being so strong.