Hi,
I'm not a native english speaker so bare with me:P
I live with my wife and two kids in a European country. My wife is from another country and we moved back to my country about seven years ago. My wife has gone to school to learn the language, but she isn't making much effort to really get integrated. If something was to happen to me today, she wouldn't be able to deal with things herself. I think I have always felt that she lacked bit of the "go" needed to get things done, and instead justs let me deal with everything. More on this coming.
Our kids are four and eight, and is the only reason I'm still in this relationship at this point. She loves the kids, but still let's me deal with everything. She cooks maybe once every few days and cleans their clothes, and somewhat think this is enough to justify me doing literally everything else. I'm the one getting their teeth brushed and getting them to bed. I'm the one that gets them up in the morning, gets them dressed, gives them breakfast and drives them to their respective schools. Maybe my wife has a tiring job and therefore needs to have her rest you might think? No, she have barely worked a single day since we got together. Me on the other hand, I run my own small company with a few employees, I work a lot. I work between 8am to 5pm whilst the kids are in school, then I normally work between 9pm and 1am when the kids are sleeping. I work from home as its online based, and I get the feeling my wife thinks its not a real job, since i'm just at the computer and home.
This morning I asked my wife if she could help me get the youngest one up from bed. She got grumpy and did NOT help me, instead when into the bedroom, closed the door and went back to sleep.
I'm so so sad, and don't know what to do, I don't want to continue like this. If she was well integrated I would have left her already. But if I leave her, I can't trust that she does her part when it comes to the kids. She isn't mean to the kids, but I just can't trust that she is there for all their needs. Also I have the feeling it wouldn't be a "friendly" separation. Atm I have kind of been thinking, wait til the kids get a bit older, old enough to decide for themself who they want to live with.
I'm trying to push her to do things. She says she want to work, she want to do this and that. But nothing gets done. She have a job since one month now, about half time, but she is already complaining and saying she want to apply to some education instead (which she has said before but never done). And this week she has called in sick because she thinks its to early and cold to go to the bus...
Aside from her not doing her part at home, she is also very negative as a person. Nothing is ever good. She likes to see the bad in things rather than the good and positive.
I have tried to talk with her many times, but she only gets super angry. I don't know how to get her to understand or what to do.
/ Sad and tired Dad.