Hi all, long-term lurker but finally got the courage to post here.
I'd like to hear people's opinions on having different standards for hygiene in a relationship. Just for clarity, I am not talking about a clean freak or a total slob—just two people on different sides of the normal cleanliness spectrum.
I am asking because I am in a new-ish relationship with a man who is much more relaxed than me on hygiene. He showers either daily or every other day, brushes his teeth at least once a day, and wears a t-shirt maybe once or twice before washing them. He is afraid of the dentist so no regular dental cleaning. Nothing he does is outrageous, but he is a big, hairy man who sweats and to be honest I think he needs to be more on top of his personal hygiene. Similarly, his place isn't manky or a mess, but his bathroom and kitchen should really be cleaned more often and more deeply than he does in my opinion.
It has happened a couple of times that I had to tell him that he needed to shower or brush his teeth before being intimate and he responded really well. He apologized, laughed it off, and shot to the bathroom to scrub himself clean.
However, I find it off-putting to have to tell a grown man to shower🙁
Now I admit I can be a bit rigid and this is a topic where maybe some compromise is required. I put a lot of effort into making sure my body smells nice and is clean before meeting him, and my place is on the tidier and cleaner end of the spectrum. My boyfriend is very open to compromise and generally puts a lot of effort into the relationship, so I believe he would be open to change or make an effort if I talked to him seriously about his personal hygiene. However, I am wondering if this is going to be a problem long-term.
Any thoughts or experiences? Thanks!