DH becoming an old man...

[MerryMarigold]

Slurping hot drinks (this is new)
Shuffling around in slippers (can you not pick your feet up?)
Making moaning, groaning, huffing noises with every movement

He's 51. As am I.

It's driving me insane. I feel really bad when I inevitably say something after trying not to for weeks or days. I feel like I'm picking on him when he's a good father and husband in many ways. (Right now he's sorting out a burst tyre on my car which I had to abandon, and he picked me up last night, out early to sort it out).

So I blurt it out: why are you slurping your drink like that? And then I feel bad. But it's just SO IRRITATING.

Perhaps misophonia. Have a discussion. You'd probably benefit from some earplugs like Loops either way if it stops you being tipped over the edge with it.

Do you have an image of “old man” in your head that includes those actions so you are repelled by them? I’m asking as my DP is 68 so definitely is older, but he doesn’t do any of the things you listed and even if he did I wouldn’t get annoyed as it would just be him being him, and I love him.
I know I got more flatulent and also snores more during menopause, and hairy, but DP wouldn’t have dreamt of showing annoyance and risking me feeling hurt.

Love this. Very true

This made me laugh a bit OP. I hope you are not getting to the point where you rage about the fact that he's breathing. 😬

The shiffle-shuffle he's doing is probably due to a lack of energy and stiffness. I found yoga and pilates incredibly boring, and not that effective. To feel benefits, it's better to do 15 mins a day than once a week, which is probably what he would end up doing if he did a class, and then he'd forget the rest of the week.

Do you have an image of “old man” in your head that includes those actions so you are repelled by them?

Maybe that's part of it. I think it's a few things.

I think it's making lots of 'drama' about very little a bit like man flu is also annoying in the same way.

Also likely to be misophonia thrown in there, as the poster before you mentioned. I am very, very sensitive to certain sounds and always have been. These things are all sound linked now I think about.

Finally a fear of being with someone behaving old before their time. Of course we're aging. I love his grey hairs and the blossoming belly doesn't bother me at all. Even getting tired more easily, that's all fine. Just not the soundtrack.

Are they? I had no idea. Where do you recommend buying indoor slippers? OP might find it helpful too

Paddy on Pilates 🤣🤣

Slurping a hot drink could indicate a neurological issue? Crikey!

Yes, if it's not something he previously did. Could imply loss of control of facial muscles.

I unleashed a bit of menopause madness on DH for sitting on my nice sofa blanket (in his smelly jocks). Blankets go over your legs! He lost the plot when I whipped said blanket away. I was a bit rude… But then he said “you could just try to be happy”. My rage went next level & I shouted. Feel terrible now. But he shouts at me all the time, so now he knows! Anyway, all of his little “ways” are annoying me very much…

I am always in my slippers and regularly exclaim 'ouuff!' when I sit down. I sigh a lot too

I'm only 41 😀🥴

Could imply loss of control of facial muscles.

^^

Bit of a leap there, the poor fella only slurped his Tetley's!

51 is young, not old. It's not slurpy shuffly time. I'd be fucked off too, if married to this man, but luckily I am happily unmarried.

How old are you OP? Is there an age gap that is only now becoming relevant?

I started making involuntary "effort of getting up from/sitting down in the chair" noises quite a long while ago - at least a couple of decades (am now early 70s). I was appalled at myself, but now if it happens it just amuses me. I think it helps me summon a tiny bit more strength. I'm not weak or anything, but I'm sure I'm not as fit as I used to be.

Everything my H did when he was your DH's age annoyed me! So I can't help with how to feel differently about it. In my case, the solution was divorce...

Snap;my DH is 40.

In recent years he's also developed horrendous snoring which makes me want to shove a pillow over his face some nights.I've also started to notice and be irritated by some stuff he does.

I figured that it could be a combination of peri menopausal hormones and I'm less tolerant of other people's crap as I get older and wiser.

@YukoandHiro

He's 51. As am I.

in the OP.

@MerryMarigold

how would you feel about those things if he died tomorrow?

seriously.

Dealbreaker for me would be if he raised food to his mouth (on a fork or spoon) and his tongue comes out of his mouth towards it first instead of just opening and putting it in his mouth.

I'd be irritated too. DP can be like this- but he's in his 60s. He wasn't like that at 51. Anyway I deal with it by getting on with my own stuff or leaving the room when he's slurping. He's so kind in other ways so I bite my tongue. Even tho that's hard to do sometimes. God forbid he has a cold or an ache. The dramatic groaning is legion then I do tell him to knock it off, too noisy for me. But even when I say that we can have a laugh about it. Just depends how you say it.

Your H needs to exercise. He's letting himself go. Doesn't need to be hardcore exercise, gently does it at first. Things will only get worse if he doesn't pick his feet up and get moving a bit. Is there any exercise routine you can follow together? Do you have a social life together? He sounds a nice man so hopefully you can resolve this.

The misandry on this thread is vile and disrespectful.

and equating a man's worth to the fact they're convenient for a bit of DIY and it saves you money is as bad as a man saying a woman is useful to get the housework done and cheaper than getting a maid.

Poor guy. I'm sure you have a lot of irritating habits too but he's too nice to mention them.

My brother shuffles, but he does have Parkinson's Disease. Couldn't say about the slurping, but agree with previous posters it would be good to rule out medical problems.

I find threads like this a bit sad, to be honest.

I am a bit surprised by the negative responses you are getting OP...

Your husband is 51, not 85...

Slurping is really bad manners and unless he has mobility issues there is no reason why a healthy middle aged man should be shuffling around like a pensioner in a care home and making noises as if was in pain...

Deeply unattractive too.

I am older than that and I can't see myself doing any of this.

Does he do any exercise? have any hobbies? is he depressed by something?

Frankly if he is like this now I dread to think what he will be like at 65.

Maybe he should see his GP and have a health check-up.

The thing as we age we have to keep active to stay healthier longer. If all he does is sit down and shuffle all day, that's not going to do his body any good.