Looking for your stories 🙂 Mutual decision not to be with "the love of my life" due to timing but we are holding out hope we come back together in the near future.

[abracadabra02]

Has anyone any experience in relationships with this?
Have you come back together?
Did you never rekindle?

I fell in love/am in love.. with a man who is everything I could have hope for and more but for both he and I, our timing is wrong. Out of fear that this would cause issues for us, we have decided to part ways, very difficultly..but we hold hope that in our future, when we are both in a better place and things will be easier..that we will come back together.

Their are many factors which determine the timing..even though we are both certain of our feelings for eachother and so compatible, this is the correct decision for now, none the less, both of us are so determined in time..we will come back together.
So I hold out hope for that 🤞

I am hoping I don't receive too many "just go for it" responses or "must not be right for eachother if you choose not to be" as I know our decision right now is correct..but hoping to hear some happy and positive "love" stories 🙂❤️

I think there are situations where this could apply, but the are precious few.

If it's jobs, location, partners, then if it's that important you'd make it work.

They're area some situations where you both might want to keep it low key for a while, if one of you is due to go abroad for a year, or whilst one of you finishes exams.

But the sort of situation where you be thinking of pursuing later rather than now are things like:

• one of you has a partner/spouse you can't justify leaving right now for extreme reasons - perhaps the partner is terminally ill, or they have a child with a life limiting condition.
• one of you is about to go to prison for a very long time
• you're both 14 and don't want to settle down right now.

This is beautiful. So happy for them.

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all of your responses. I was married and no this is not an affair. I did fall in love in a loyal way, not all love stories happen due to infidelity thankgod! Ir atleast, mine didn't. The timing choice is very much mutal. I seperated from my partner of 15 years, married 6 years and have 3 children..just in May 2023. I then met completely unexpectedly the man I am talking about. There is no doubt I am in love with him but I very much need to find myself and have time to myself, before going into another relationship. This may not be understandable to many but I was with my ex husband since I was 16. I have never just been myself and to me, this is going to be vital for me to have the happiest possible future for my children and a future relationship.

Yes this comes at the expense of possibly loosing this man I love..but is a choice I know I need..for me! I am not someone who wants to go out and use this time meeting others..I am not that person and ny heart is his..my emotional and physical connection is to him and I trust that's where it will remain, until possibly his does not. But..I do need time before jumping into this, but am hoping that in me needing and choosing that also, that hopefully the long term outcome..would be that we'll come back together.
The correct decision for myself right now and whatever my future may hold, I feel like this time to me will play a hugely positive part in my happiness going forward.

Not the ending you hoped for...

I'm near 40, single (never met anyone since him) and childless.

He moved to the other side of the world and married someone younger.

Don't waste your time.

I think it's very odd to choose to be single when you're in love with someone who wants to be with you. I see why you would want to be single but since you've met someone...hmm. I would advocate continuing the relationship in a very slow manner. Meet up once every couple of weeks for example. I can't imagine choosing not to be with the person I'm in love with.

This must be hard to accept. When someone has your heart, it really does remain their.

This needs answering.

Oh it has been, sorry.

Um...I dunno. I can totally understand your reticence in flinging yourself straight into another relationship, so yeah I hear you.

I agree. It's a hard concept to understand. I do love him, honestly but always my children's happiness comes first and foremost and if I believe right now I can't be with him because I am not ready and then I have to choose my children receiving 100% of me, that for me right now is where I need to dedicate my time..always! I don't feel I am in the right space for a relationship, even though I want nothing more than in the near future to be with him. But right now, I know the correct decision is "not now". This doesn't take away that I still have hope he will be the man I spend the rest of my days with..when we both feel good and ready for that.

Thank you. It's a tough decision for sure, heartbreaking but I do believe it's the right one.

I also believe that right person, wrong time is a true saying..because it is exactly that..my right person, just wrong time.

You are in love with the idea of being in love. You are raising 3 very small children - which is hard work!! and have met a very nice person who makes you feel all the good/positive /safe/ secure /alive/ exciting/romantic things that your ex husband didn’t. Totally understandable. But there are a million men who could make you feel like this. You can also feel like this All By Yourself.

Due to a career move to the Southern Hemisphere, I had to part company with the love of my life. After four long years they finally returned and we were due to meet at Waterloo Station. The morning came and it was pissing it down so hard I stayed in bed.

Exactly this. This is exactly why right now I know I am not ready to jump head first into a relationship. I know I am in love with him. Take away all of the above, just him as a person is why I love him. I adore him, his interests, how he enjoys things I enjoy just because they are my interests, how we laugh and talk together, our similarities and our differences. I do love HIM but like you said you can feel this way all my yourself too..this is where I want to get to before going into any future relationship. I want to feel like I don't actually NEED anyone, when that time comes and to be happy just being me and get to that place..that feels good to me to hopefully get their.

Is that where your story ended? 🙈

No, in the afternoon the sun came out so I got up and went shopping. I bought a small cabinet for my bathroom, a candle and some muesli. It felt like a new start.

My best friend in her early 20s, with 2 young children, no job and had been engaged met a man who I knew (a close friend of DB’s). She dated him for about 2 years I think and was planning on getting married to him and having children. He was very supportive of her dreams (one was to be a writer). However, his parents talked him out of it and they thought he’d be supporting a wife and another man’s DC even though their father paid maintenance and saw them regularly. A year after he broke up with her and broke her heart (they were soul mates) he went back to her and asked for another try and quite rightly she told him no.

In your case even taking out Irish side and the parents losing face in the community, the one thing his parents would look at is you moving on so quickly after separation and divorce and pressure on their son taking on you and your children. Even though your ex-H would presumably pay maintenance and have 50/50 rights re having them live in his house/flat. Their son is also 30, he could meet a woman without these ties. From reading your other thread he’s telling you white lies in a way but trying to break off gently with you. If he really wanted to be with you, he would, simple as that. He wouldn’t care about his parents views.

That’s interesting when the lightbulb moment appears and/or you realise you’ve moved on in 4 years. It’s almost religious that way! (Seen the light!).

What's for you won't go past you

So you met this guy 6 months ago? And you're 'in love', without actually having been in a relationship, let alone a long term relationship, and are hoping to hinge you're entire future, 'til the end of your days' on him?

OK.

I don’t think it sounds like love to be honest. Love isn’t about perfect timing or circumstances, if you’re in love, you find a way to make it work when things aren’t perfect. Eg you can date, but he can give you the space you need or slow the pace down to be respectful of your boundaries. It doesn’t have to be an all or nothing thing, it’s about flexing to each others needs? And I think when you meet the right person, you won’t feel as much internal conflict as you do now. You’ll go for it cause it feels right

Unlike most other posters, I have a positive story! We were together throughout uni, right person but wrong time. Loved each other and we were compatible, but too young to settle down. Neither of us knew where we wanted to be with our careers, and felt tied down by being together. Broke up for a few years but never stopped thinking about each other. Both dated around but both realised what we were missing. We came back together and have now been very happily married for ten years. In our case, it was genuinely right person wrong time. We both grew and matured as people throughout our 20s and became more compatible as a result. I don't see why that wouldn't be the case for other couples.

Sounds like a classic rebound/loneliness relationship. Of course it doesn't feel like that to you at the moment because you have your new relationship goggles on at the moment. So he seems perfect.

Are you my MIL (Mrs Bucket with a Scots accent)

😁

Sorry but I always think it sounds ridiculous to say “ in another life” or “later on “, I just don’t get it

I don't envy the people you both get involved with in the meantime. There may be s lot if broken hearts.