Do you still have long-standing friends?

[EmmaEmerald]

Question for those of us who are old enough...do you still have friends from 20 - 25 years ago?

If so, did they keep in touch reasonably often?

Thanks.

I am 59, have friends from secondary school and college so more than 40 years. My mother is 90, she met the last friend she has who is still alive 70 years ago.

Yes. 3 childhood friends, we are 47 now, we went to primary & secondary together. Now we are at the age of supporting each other through sick parents / loss of parents. They are like sisters to me. I moved 250 miles away 23yrs ago but go back 4 times a year minimum often much more. I will probably move back in 2yrs when my youngest leaves school. Although I have lots of good friends here, none as special as my childhood friends as we have so much that bonds us together.

Closer to 40 that I usually like to admit. Group of 4 others- the new one to the group we've "only" known for 20 years. The others I was friends with at playgroup/primary school.

Rare we are all in one room these days due to moving, kids etc. But when we do it's like we've never been apart!

@EmmaEmerald yes still have friend I met when I was 15 and that was 54 years ago, see them every week!

Yep. Age 40, in touch with a couple of friends since birth and some school/6th form friends, we all live different parts of the country but have a WhatsApp chat and meet up at least once a year.

I am in my early 40s and part of a group of 10 close friends. Some of us have been friends since early teens, with the most recent addition to our friendship group was in 2007.
We probably only get together as a big group once or twice a year but meet up in smaller groups much more regularly and have a fairly active group chat.
We've gone from school friends, to clubbing together, to settling down and having kids and I am sure the majority of us will stay close into our next stage. It is comforting to have a group of people who I trust implicitly although we have had our share of drama over the years. I do feel lucky to have them as I am not a naturally social person.

Just confirmed weekend away for 2024 with friends I made in 1993. A couple of us meeting up with the kids next week. They love about 45 minutes away whereas the others are a few hours away.

Also got weekend away with other set I made in 2000. See one occasionally more often cos she loves closer.

We have a messenger group that we all message in randomly (one per group, school and Uni) so we keep in touch about the random and the important

I have friends from 25 years ago but we’re mid 30s so maybe not what you mean. We meet up a couple times a year for dinner when we’re all back ‘home’. Some of us chat on WhatsApp in between, others only to arrange the meet up.

I think that's really sad. You have no reason to assume he wants to sleep with you, you don't with him, but you don't see him very often in case your partner's don't trust you.

I only have one real friend, we have known each other for 35 years. She lives in a different country from me but we still holiday together every summer.

Not everyone is good at staying in touch. If there’s somebody you’d like to see, you can be the one to make the effort. You don’t need to rely on them doing it. And the fact that they don’t may not mean they don’t want to see you. They may just be busy. Having children takes up a LOT of headspace and then they may find after a few years they’ve forgotten that enjoy your company.

You also sound like you found their children annoying. People LOVE their children. If they detected this it may have put them off you.

No. I'm not good at friends
As soon as I'm no longer in the situation that led us to be friends I move on.
I'm aware how awful that sounds.

Eg school friends. We'd walk to and from school, have lunch together, maybe hang out outside of school. When I left I never saw them again

Ditto college.

My jobs - occasional socialising, left the job - never spoke to them again.

Neighbours - in each others houses for coffees, have parties etc. I move house and they're on my FB but I never interact with them.

Maybe I've never had friendships, just situationships.

Oh and a make friends I've known 25 years next year, good I feel old. We're local so used to do play group etc with each other, struggle to see each other around kids etc, but we're trying to catch up this next week or so

DH and I were out last night with five other couples. We've known each other for close to 40 years, shared weddings, children and bereavements, holidays in some cases. It's rare for all 12 of us to meet and it was a lovely evening.

I’m 61, child-rearing and divorce got in the way of friendships for 15 years or so but I’m now back in touch with several from school, one from uni, two from professional training, two from house-sharing and several from first proper job. It’s wonderful to meet up once or twice a year (none live close) to compare notes 😊. I feel very blessed. Old friends feel very different to my newer friends. They knew me before life knocked my edges off 😂.

I am in my early 70’s
i still have 3 close friends from secondary school ( early 1960’s )
And my 2 closest friends are from when I started work with them in 1967 - we are growing old together.
So, yes friendships that are over 60 yrs old.
Never, ever give up your friend for marriage etc .

Ive had the same best friend for 36 years. We get together almost every month.

Some of my closest friends are friends I went to primary school and secondary school with.

Yes. 1 from school (35 years) and 1 from uni (30 years). Both I speak to monthly, both at my recent 50th.

Oh I've done all that, I have babysat their children and played with them and had them at my place etc. frankly I think the kids probably think of me more than the mums.

I feel I have made a lot of effort and it's come to nothing. I have asked to meet and been turned down too many times now, it's embarrassing.

One of them admitted she was prompted to check on me in lockdown because her son said "have you phoned Aunty Emma, she's all alone and not allowed to see anyone".

Effort can't all be a one way street. I have to accept that they will never have time for me.

I'm having something of a reflective phase and I need to let go, psychologically, IYSWIM.

Yes. University friends and I have recently celebrated 40 years of friendship. And still close to a couple of school friends who go back rather longer.

My mother is still in touch with 2 of her former colleagues . She stopped working with them in 1964.

Yes, several. And yes we stay in touch. Sometimes often sometimes less. We see each other in person where possible and it doesn't matter if we've spoken recently or not. We just pick up where we left off.

Yes, my oldest and best friends I have known for nearly 50 years. Always there for them and vice versa. We meet up about once a year, some of us more often as we have returned to live in our hometown.

I had coffee this morning with a man I went to primary school 50 years ago with . Still have 4 close friends who are the same vintage. Have mum friends from the 80s and an old neighbour from 1988 . My best friend I've known since secondary school. I don't see all of them regularly but see every one of them over the course of a year . See my best friend weekly. It was more difficult when the DC were small and we all scattered to the four corners of the world but everyone is back within a 100 mile radius in our 50s . I love my friends.

@Bowbobobo ""Old friends feel very different to my newer friends. They knew me before life knocked my edges off"

Interested to hear more about this? Like, what were your edges? (That sounds funny 😂)