He says I do nothing for him? But I do everything

[lostxlonely]

Hi all

so we have a 1 year old I work from home full time, I pay the full rent, I pay the bills(in debt and struggling), I apply for jobs for my partner (he does but his picky), I cook, I clean, I do the groceries, I tidy, I run errands, I look after our baby whilst I work, I pick up after him, I do nothing for myself and I’m always exhausted and in arguments he says “you don’t do anything for me” “what do you even do for me” “I don’t ask you to do anything” (referring to chores/cooking) he never asks me to do them or rarely but if I don’t do it no one will? He never tells me to wash the clothes but if I don’t do it no one ever does? He doesn’t ask me to clean but if i don’t do it it becomes inhabitable and so I have to as no one else does? He doesn’t ask me to put away his clothes but throws them on the floor and they stay there if I don’t? I clothe our child I do it al. If I don’t do it no one will then he says I don’t take care of him sexually and his low maintenance and I should take care of him like that sometimes when I turn him down several times he just goes silent on me other times he continues to ask. I sometimes just do even if I’m exhausted just to get him to shut up and leave me alone but it still continues.. I just don’t understand how he says I don’t do anything for hom? He said even if he left I would need to still do all this so I’m not doing anything for him? But he does nothing for me at all? Cleans once every 4/5 weeks like just putting the toys away or throwing stuff in the bin and that’s it

How is your life better with him in it?

You have a cocklodger. Kick the useless twit out and your life will be so much better.

He is not a keeper love.

Do yourself a favour and get rid

Ask yourself why are you being an unpaid slave to an ungrateful sponging cock lodger.

Sorry OP but he’s a waste of space. Kick him to the kerb

I read today " you can lie down foe some people and all they will say is you're not flat enough "
This is him. You deserve better. He will never change.

Kick him out. He's using you and then gaslighting you to make you feel bad.

If you can't bear to kick him out immediately then until you do, go on strike. Only cook for yourself, don't let him have any leftovers. If the useless waste of space tries to eat your leftovers, chuck it out rather than let him eat it. You can't really only tidy your stuff because it will make your life a mystery having to live in a tip, but avoid any chores that only help him, such as doing his laundry.

Why is your relationship bar this low that this person was allowed into your life at all?. What does he bring to your life now other than misery?.

Better to be on your own than to be badly accompanied; this man is a total waste of space and leeching off your efforts.

And stop applying for jobs for your partner - you are not his mother. He is perfectly capable of doing that.

What on earth does this tosser bring to the table?

And he is not picky, he is 100% lazy and mooching off you. He has no respect for you or this child whatsoever.

Well, he's telling you that nothing you ever do will make him happy. He will take and take and take and still be a miserable bastard.

Your so-called partner is an abusive cocklodging prick who has seen you coming and intends to take every last thing off you before going off with another woman and blaming you for it.

It's all about sex, that's what he means. He obviously doesn't notice or value anything else you do because he's a lazy, useless waste of space, and a cocklodger as well !
From now on stop doing anything for him. Dirty clothes or things not put away leave in a pile beside his bed. Stop cooking for him, don't run errands for him or act as his personal secretary. Leave him to do it himself and just look after yourself and your baby and keep your house tidy for you. Tbh l cannot see what he brings to your relationship. I would get rid asap.

@lostxlonely why the hell are you still with this tosser??? throw him out and let him fend for himself then he will see how much you did for him, but by then it will be too late!!

Don't marry him, number 1!
You are basically a single parent. You shoulder all of the Financial responsibility along with the day to day taking care of your home and child.
What exactly does this cocklodger bring?

Don’t justify what you do or don’t do for him. Just go on strike and let him learn the hard way. Leave his laundry. Don’t cook his meals. Just “do” for you and your child.

“but if I don’t do it no one will? ”

Well so be it. He’s being an arsehole and it sounds like he’s getting off on watching you bend over backwards to “prove” what you do for him.

Stop applying for jobs for him as well. You’re not his mother.

Maybe ask him what HE does for YOU.. When was the last time he took you out? When did he buy you a gift/flowers? When did he look after the baby so you could meet up with friends. What does HE do for YOU?

This can't be real. Surely noone would be a slave like this and he doesn't even work. How could you ever shag that?

Tell him to F off then.

Why on earth do you tolerate this?!! And please don't say "because you love him." This is not love.

I told him to leave he had a manic episode hitting himself having a breakdown shook me smashed his head of a cabinet and the cabinet door fell off no longer there. I called the emergency services was halfway giving them the address and he put his fist in my face so I cut off out of fear.

if ‘Doing something’ for the other is so important, what does he claim he does for you? Because it sounds like he adds nothing to your life except stress and extra housework.

@lostxlonely You need to leave with your child and call the police ASAP.

What was he like when you first met him? You will be better of with him not living with you. You sound like his carer not his partner.

This. Right now.

I was about to write to say that this chap brings nothing and to ask what it was like pre-baby, however your post above negates all of that. You need to be away from this man and the sooner the better.