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Original poster

OH tripped me up and laughed

84 replies

SaltedCaramelLife · 22/12/2023 18:43

Would like some perspective.

My OH was walking behind me, intentionally tripped me over and laughed. I moved away, to walk across and some distance from him. He continued laughing and asked what was the matter with me. I said I was walking away so I didn’t make a fool of myself.
We were in a public place and he tripped me around the side of a building where no one else happened to be walking.

There’s obviously a backstory and I won’t drip feed, but I would appreciate your thoughts. Is this what your partners are doing for a laugh? Is this how adults are behaving now? Until today, I’d have been fairly confident he wouldn’t reply “I thought you’d find it funny” if I asked why he did that.

OP posts:
Grimchmas · 22/12/2023 18:45

No, that's not okay behaviour. He's an adult, and he's supposed to love you. You don't deliberate trip up somebody you care about.

I'll wait for the obvious backstory (as it isn't obvious to me).

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 22/12/2023 18:46

does he often try to humiliate you or put you in your place? He sounds like a bully. If it isnt funny, it isnt a joke.

VisionsOfSplendour · 22/12/2023 18:46

Unless you're married to a 6 year old you can't really think this is anything other than not normal adult behaviour for anyone

MargotBamborough · 22/12/2023 18:47

No, it's not OK.

Not normal behaviour after about the age of 8.

OhGoOnThenIfYouInsist · 22/12/2023 18:47

LTB

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 22/12/2023 18:49

Not remotely normal. Or acceptable.

RandomMess · 22/12/2023 18:49

Just awful, I didn't think it was at all amusing as a teenager let alone now!

RomeoOscarXrayXray · 22/12/2023 18:50

We (my 2 DC and I) do this to my DH (their Dad) and each other. No one is allowed to do it to me because I've got a bad back and hips. We pick the right time and place and it's all done in fun. Not malice. It's in good humour for us. Doesn't sound like that's the case for you.

pictoosh · 22/12/2023 18:52

Absolutely not ok. Where's the respect?
I had one that did this to me once, also liked poking me hard then accusing me of being dramatic and having no sense of humour when I told him it hurt.
Horrible fucking man.

JaneJeffer · 22/12/2023 18:55

Shove him under a bus

ANeurodiverseUniverse · 22/12/2023 18:56

My nasty abusive father used to do things like this to me. Trip me up. Push me down hills so I nearly broke my neck. Push me into rock pools so I'd cut my feet. Push my head under or refuse to help me if I was struggling in water. All with a gleeful laugh.

This was amongst a lot of other abusive things.

I stopped seeing him in my teens. I'm in my 40s now and don't regret that cut off. In my opinion, he was some sort of sociopathic bully who enjoyed tormenting those who were weaker and vulnerable (women and children) for his own humour. People who couldn't fight back or stand up to him.

No, its not normal OP. It's fucking awful!

Mimikyuu · 22/12/2023 18:56

It’s only ok if you both find it funny. My husband and I always shove each other into bushes but we wouldn’t do that to anyone else.

olderbutwiser · 22/12/2023 18:57

XDH did this all the time, constantly. It was horrible. I felt blindsided and unsafe whenever we went anywhere together.

It was just part of a package of controlling behaviour.

TheAverageJoanne · 22/12/2023 18:58

RomeoOscarXrayXray · 22/12/2023 18:50

We (my 2 DC and I) do this to my DH (their Dad) and each other. No one is allowed to do it to me because I've got a bad back and hips. We pick the right time and place and it's all done in fun. Not malice. It's in good humour for us. Doesn't sound like that's the case for you.

And what happens when your kids grow up and get partners and carry on because you've normalised it but the partners find it abusive?

ErrolTheDragon · 22/12/2023 18:59

Wtf?

Hm, I wonder if he'd find it 'funny' if you tripped him up in public? I'm going to guess 'no'.

crumblingschools · 22/12/2023 19:00

What’s the backstory?

Jackfrostnippingatmynose · 22/12/2023 19:04

Unless you BOTH do it to each other and BOTH find it funny 🤔 (assuming no) then he's showing you how much he disrepects you. Does he also belittle you in other ways? If so, you need to clearly state to him that it's belittling, not funny, and he needs to shape up or ship out!

Bahhambug · 22/12/2023 19:05

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

WorriedMum231 · 22/12/2023 19:06

TheAverageJoanne · 22/12/2023 18:58

And what happens when your kids grow up and get partners and carry on because you've normalised it but the partners find it abusive?

Show quote history

Well hopefully she’s taught them boundaries as well. Which it sounds like she has as they don’t do it to her. They obviously no what the word no means.

MistletoeandJd · 22/12/2023 19:23

Me and my oh do similar to each other all the time but hip bump while walking ( not forcefully enough to fall, just enough to correct balance become a bit of a game that might have been funny but a trip from behind can be nasty/ dangerous I would think =/ what's he usually like ? he may have not thought ? We've had some right laughs at each other

Widgets · 22/12/2023 19:28

He’s not laughing with you, he’s laughing at you

brainworms · 22/12/2023 19:30

We're going to need the backstory.

Grimchmas · 22/12/2023 19:51

To state the bloody obvious: a trip, especially on concrete/paving/tarmac, can very easily result in broken or dislocated bones, a broken nose, serious damage to teeth, and permanent scars to places like the face. Just because he hasn't seen that as a direct result of his actions doesn't mean it isn't also likely.

Men who have got into fights and hit their head on a surface like that as they went down have cracked skulls. Broken wrists as you try to save yourself from just a standard trip on say an uneven paving slab are very common.

I'm an event first aider and I have seen all of those injuries enough times and it's horrible. The bad one recently was a 12 year old kid being pushed over on a pavement by his mates "just having a laugh" - he lost 4 of his adult teeth and will need extensive, and expensive painful dental procedures for at least two years and likely longer as he grows.

It's NOT something to take lightly.

Epidote · 22/12/2023 20:33

It is not normal. It is not acceptable. It is completely shit behaviour. I would leave him, is that possible for you? If so do it.

HelenTudorFisk · 22/12/2023 20:41

Presumably the backstory is that this man is a nasty cunt most of the time?
I mean, really. He did something that could have caused you to be injured seriously as a laugh? He has no respect or care for you. Why would you stay in a relationship like this?