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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

OH tripped me up and laughed

84 replies

SaltedCaramelLife · 22/12/2023 18:43

Would like some perspective.

My OH was walking behind me, intentionally tripped me over and laughed. I moved away, to walk across and some distance from him. He continued laughing and asked what was the matter with me. I said I was walking away so I didn’t make a fool of myself.
We were in a public place and he tripped me around the side of a building where no one else happened to be walking.

There’s obviously a backstory and I won’t drip feed, but I would appreciate your thoughts. Is this what your partners are doing for a laugh? Is this how adults are behaving now? Until today, I’d have been fairly confident he wouldn’t reply “I thought you’d find it funny” if I asked why he did that.

OP posts:
grumpycow1 · 22/12/2023 22:08

RomeoOscarXrayXray · 22/12/2023 18:50

We (my 2 DC and I) do this to my DH (their Dad) and each other. No one is allowed to do it to me because I've got a bad back and hips. We pick the right time and place and it's all done in fun. Not malice. It's in good humour for us. Doesn't sound like that's the case for you.

Wtf - this is not normal and if that’s where you get your humour you need to get out more. Not a great lesson for your kids who probably do this at school and labelled bullies.

Liz1tummypain · 22/12/2023 22:09

Is he a child? That's strange behaviour for an adult. He sounds a bit unkind so I hope there's some angle to this that would explain it better.

Moonshine5 · 22/12/2023 22:09

Excuse my French but that behaviour is fu**ed up.

randomusername2020 · 22/12/2023 22:10

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Beago1dfish · 22/12/2023 22:27

NRTFT but he sounds awful. If a friend told you their partner had done this, what would you think? Would you tell your mum/nan/sister/best mate this and expect them to still like him? You need to value yourself (& it sounds like you do, you’re just seeking affirmation). You deserve better. Xx

MaidOfSteel · 22/12/2023 22:34

What the heck? That's such juvenile behaviour. Does he have form for trying to humiliate ir belittle you?

RomeoOscarXrayXray · 22/12/2023 22:48

Gosh. Who'd have thought this would inspire such a reaction!

Yes my DC know all about boundaries and consent etc.

We're very big on that. We ask permission to share photos online etc and check they are happy with the wording of emails to teachers and such like.

It's really is fun for us and even though I said "we do it to each other" my DH doesn't do it to the kids.

It's one of those "works for us" things that clearly doesn't work for anyone else and that's ok.

We all delight in putting tiny bits of ice down the top of DH. He'll put tiny bits of ice down sleeves.

DH is a big man (height) but a gentle man. The kids enjoy playing about with him. He gets in on the game by acting up to it and playing the fool. Like today he went on the waltzers with the DC (I couldn't due to back) and he acted more scared than he was really because our DD found it hilarious.

It's really not abusive, the DC love being able to "get Dad".

It's not going to work for everyone, every family. It's clearly not ok for the OP.

Sometimes when the DC do it to each other it moves from being fun to a bit more "iffy" we call time then. We know when it crosses a line.

Come on it's a game for at the beach type thing. Like tig or frisbee or similar.

We also give each other frights.

Right now I've just finished reading my DS personal statement for his UCAS application. We're all wearing our (me-made) matching Christmas jammies and snuggling up together.

We're fine, thanks for all the concern though. I'm touched.

RomeoOscarXrayXray · 22/12/2023 22:52

Mrsttcno1 · 22/12/2023 21:16

Did he actually try to trip you up, or did he do that thing where you sort of kick the back/inside of shoe while walking so you just sort of do a little hop skip jump?

Oh and this is what we do. It's a tap to the back of the heel. If people are imaging something more violent we don't do that. I still call it tripping up though.

Winnipeggy · 22/12/2023 22:53

He sounds unbearably annoying

EmmaEmerald · 22/12/2023 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Worth a repost

people who are dumb enough to find this funny and mutually agree it’s okay…the mind boggles.

TheGreatGherkin · 22/12/2023 22:55

What other cuntish things does he do OP?

YaWeeFurryBastard · 22/12/2023 22:56

Have you posted this before? Seems very familiar to a post the other day about some clearly asshole behaviour from a husband and wanting some perspective, then a massive dripped backstory about a very abusive husband.

My advice is the same, you need to leave and totting up a list of awful things he’s done won’t make any difference in the long term, just get out.

MILTOBE · 22/12/2023 22:59

There must be a back story here. There is no way that this is a decent, kind, loving, hard working, non-cocklodging man. No way.

blackpanth · 22/12/2023 23:02

He's an arsehole

Original poster
SaltedCaramelLife · 22/12/2023 23:06

First time posting about him but I’ve been around long enough to know what I need to do. Backstory is we split up because I accepted he’d been a twat for the majority of our marriage… Convinced things would be better/different, and they are in a few ways, but it’s not enough.
Anyhow I’ve been getting my ducks in a row to split up for the final time because I’ve done it before and the sky didn’t fall and also because I’d rather be alone than have to deal with this shite. This was the final straw. And not the worst thing he’s done.

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 22/12/2023 23:07

If you're on a bouncy castle or in a pool, where you're not going to hurt yourself in any way, then maybe - if you've got that kind of relationship and it's two way.

A street where you could actually break your ankle? Or even just hurt yourself? Not fucking funny

Original poster
SaltedCaramelLife · 22/12/2023 23:09

I appreciate your replies. It’s always nice to know I’ve not been dramatic and others see it exactly the same way.

OP posts:
randomusername2020 · 22/12/2023 23:12

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

SkaneTos · 22/12/2023 23:16

Sometimes I'm sad that I'm single... and sometimes I'm not.

Geppili · 22/12/2023 23:18

Twat

LumiB · 22/12/2023 23:24

I wouldnt find it funny as you get older its important to try and not fall over, any break to your bones isn't going to heal well and you could be left with long term issues. Especially if its an ankle. I know people who just fell over cos they put their foot down wrong and their ankle has never been same again.

Wishitsnows · 22/12/2023 23:41

You’ve got a faulty one there get rid of the piece of shit before he really hurts you.

EmmaEmerald · 22/12/2023 23:42

SaltedCaramelLife · 22/12/2023 23:09

I appreciate your replies. It’s always nice to know I’ve not been dramatic and others see it exactly the same way.

You're not being dramatic at all. It's really nasty behaviour.

randomusername2020 · 22/12/2023 23:44

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Inertia · 22/12/2023 23:50

Glad to hear you have a plan to place to leave him. It’s abusive, it’s intended to hurt and humiliate you, and it’s not normal.

Frankly I’m astonished at the number of idiots posting on this thread that they do this in their own family ‘for a laugh’.