Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Partner thinks I've cheated on him.

94 replies

Artic06 · 22/12/2023 04:09

My partner thinks I'm cheating on him because I've changed my profile pic on Facebook to a picture of me and my cousin. He said I'm a lying cheating whore who can't be trusted.
Were supposed to be going away on the 23rd till 28th, now he's saying he's not going anywhere with me. I've never cheated on him, we're supposed to be getting married next year.

OP posts:

perfectcolourfound · 22/12/2023 17:15

I'm pleased you've realised it. That's the first step towards getting yourself out of this damaging relationship. Keep talking to your friend, take her up on her offer. Tell your family. The more you tell people, the more support you'll be offered, and the more real it will be.

This man is vile. To be absolutely clear, the way he treats you isn't how you treat someone you love. He is abusive. He won't get better. He'll most likely get worse. Please escape now, while you can.

HolyZarquonsSingingSeals · 22/12/2023 17:15

Sounds like he doesn't want to get married and is looking for an out.

DancingFerret · 22/12/2023 17:20

Take up your friend's offer and leave as soon as you safely can. It's Christmas, but don't (even if you're considering it, let any sentimentality cloud your judgement); your safety and sanity are more important.

junkfoodheaven · 22/12/2023 17:46

My advice is leave run or tell him to go.
My ex was the same and it turned out he was cheating.
When he or she starts to blame you for no reason to do so.
Its a red flag saying ive done it but i want to blame you to cover my guilt.

mathanxiety · 22/12/2023 17:48

You need to cancel the wedding. Do it soon.

There is something seriously wro going with this man. Insane jealousy is a sign that he intends to spend your life together abusing you.

Stop planning g a future with him.

Do not go away together.

Do not try to reassure him that you are not cheating on him.

mathanxiety · 22/12/2023 17:50

Artic06 · 22/12/2023 08:17

@TrishyLou1111 I'm ok thankyou, I've just stayed upstairs he's asleep. I'm talking with my friend she's disgusted in the whole thing. Said if I need to I can stay at hers

Accept her offer.

This is a true friend.

Leave this vile man.

sazzaz1980 · 22/12/2023 19:44

Contact womens aid, this sounds like abuse. They can offer help and assist you to leave

judgedreadful · 22/12/2023 19:47

He's trying to isolate you from your friends and family. He will only get worse, I'm glad you're realising he is not the person you don't want to be with.

FairyMaclary · 22/12/2023 19:47

@Artic06 have you left? Are you safe?

TrishyLou1111 · 22/12/2023 20:35

Artic06 · 22/12/2023 08:17

@TrishyLou1111 I'm ok thankyou, I've just stayed upstairs he's asleep. I'm talking with my friend she's disgusted in the whole thing. Said if I need to I can stay at hers

Hope you are okay.
I would possibly take your friend up on her offer for safety. On that note, are you safe? X

SwordToFlamethrower · 22/12/2023 21:17

What kind of a man calls his fiance a "cheating whore"?

That's absolutely awful, he's done you a favour, showing you who he is

Original poster

Artic06 · 23/12/2023 10:11

So I've had I thought you were cheating and went into a jealous rage, I want to sort things out I love you. I just don't know what to do anymore

OP posts:

dddecide · 23/12/2023 10:17

He's controlling and abusive, leave him. I'm sorry I know it's so hard is so many ways, but honestly it'll be harder the longer you leave it. And even harder if you marry and end up having children together. You do not want to have to coparent with someone like this, you do not want to have to spend your life trying to protect your children from someone like this. I think you know that's what you need to do but you're afraid (which I totally understand), have courage and end it. Wishing you the best x

BitOutOfPractice · 23/12/2023 10:22

Oh lord has he got hold of your phone @Artic06

if he has I hope he reads the replies and realises What a scumbag he is. I also hope it doesn’t put the op in danger.

Theunamedcat · 23/12/2023 10:26

Leave in his mind you will "prove his point" because you left but if you stay you will always be a cheating whore they caught out and corrected your behaviour never forget the look on someone's face after 20 years he told the story of how he caught her cheating (he didnt) and although he could have left he felt sorry for her that her boyfriend ditched her (seriously there was no boyfriend) and loved her enough to try again the look on her face when he said so I forgave her and she has behaved herself ever since haven't you darling it was chilling she was dead inside

Original poster

Artic06 · 23/12/2023 10:28

@BitOutOfPractice no hes not got my phone. I'm ok thankyou

OP posts:

category12 · 23/12/2023 10:30

Artic06 · 23/12/2023 10:11

So I've had I thought you were cheating and went into a jealous rage, I want to sort things out I love you. I just don't know what to do anymore

What's to sort out? This is his own self-created drama out of his own head, that he used to justify treating you horribly. "A jealous rage" is not something that is normal or OK. It doesn't sound like he's even admitting fault or intending to do anything to change.

"I love you" is meaningless when it isn't accompanied by trust and kindness. The word "love" is easy to say and can be worthless.

It's really common for someone who has been in an abusive relationship before to fall into another one, and you need to get out of this one before it gets worse. He's controlling and if you stick around, you're going to get more of this behaviour.

Nicole1111 · 23/12/2023 10:39

Artic06 · 23/12/2023 10:11

So I've had I thought you were cheating and went into a jealous rage, I want to sort things out I love you. I just don't know what to do anymore

Tell him if he wants to change he should join a perpetrators of domestic abuse course

roarrfeckingroar · 23/12/2023 10:40

Please leave OP, this is no life

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread