Partner thinks I've cheated on him.

[Artic06]

My partner thinks I'm cheating on him because I've changed my profile pic on Facebook to a picture of me and my cousin. He said I'm a lying cheating whore who can't be trusted.
Were supposed to be going away on the 23rd till 28th, now he's saying he's not going anywhere with me. I've never cheated on him, we're supposed to be getting married next year.

Pack his bag and tell him he can go away on his own: stay at home and have a nice quiet Christmas

Just the word 'whore'. That's all the warning you need. Do not marry a man who flings that word around, who has it in their vocabulary. He might as well put a flag on a pole on his head that says, I'm an abusive arsehole.

Do not marry this man. A wedding is expensive and a divorce is expensive. If you aren’t happy now it’s not going to get any better. Insecurities and jealousy traits are hard to shake and you are setting yourself up for a life of hardship. You deserve better.

@Confusedandemotional I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I hope you're ok now?
See I've been in an abusive relationship before, thought I new the signs but when I've sat and thought about things then there's been subtle signs all along and I'm starting to realise this now

I'm glad you've realised the lie of the land before you ended up married to this vile excuse for a human.
Sort out getting to your friends and then make plans to liberate your life once you're in a calmer place.

Do not marry this man.

This was my absolute first thought. He's deflecting. Accuse your partner of what you are guilty of.

Not that it matters, really, because he sounds like the worst kind of 'boyfriend' anyway. Get far, far away, OP.

Why on earth would you want to marry this man?!?! This is your cue to leave.

It's not subtle, it is in plain sight but you have minimised it. Every time you go out with family he has been passing comment. Does he restrict you from going out with friends too? Do you ever go out for an evening without him? What does he do then?

Sorry what ?

Take your lovely friend up on her offer. She cares about you.

Your vile partner doesn't.

He's away tomorrow so you can pack your stuff and vacate the flat and your relationship. Good riddance to him.

I hope the day never comes when he redirects his “anger” currently demonstrated by his insulting language towards you and puts his hands around your throat in the midst of a row. He is an excuse of a “man” and you are worth more than his controlling vitriol.

We are all telling you to get out of this toxic, abusive relationship.

Please, do what you can to remove yourself from him. If not over Christmas, then please do it asap in the New Year.

He is not the man for you.
Do not marry him.

For goodness' sake, don't marry him. This is coercive control 101

There are ways of abusing people which don’t involve hitting them or even shouting at them. Perhaps your previous abuser was physically rough with you. But your current BF is also very emotionally abusive. He thinks he owns you. He’s trying to isolate you. There’s a real nastiness - a real hatred of women - in the language he is using. He is a dangerous partner to have.

Since this is your second abusive relationship, it sounds like you might benefit from being single for a while and perhaps doing the Freedom Course and some therapy.

Btw: don’t confront him. Abusers become particularly dangerous when they sense they’re losing control. It’s probably best if you just grab a few things and head to your friend’s house. Don’t tell him where you are. He doesn’t need to know and it’s safer if he doesn’t know. Let your family and friends support you as you disentangle yourself.

Any of these behaviours are abusive. Sadly your partner is being abusive and controlling. Please don’t be hard on yourself for ending up in another abusive relationship, research shows that once you’ve had one you’re more likely to be vulnerable to them in the future, typically because the first one has ruined your self esteem and skewed your perception of a healthy relationship. Please go and stay with a friend (when you can leave the house safely) and complete the freedom programme. Try to end contact if you can once you’re out, as he’ll likely try to move in to the honeymoon section of the abuse cycle and will try and win you around with love bombing and promises to do better.

That’s excellent- take her up on the offer, quickly. The more you hesitate, the more you’ll talk yourself into staying and putting up with his abuse. And the longer you’re with him, the worse the abuse will get.

Please raise your standards. He is a controlling arsehole.

I'm glad you have support from your friend, take her up on it.

Consider it a bullet dodged.

And don't fall for the inevitable love bombing he will do once you leave.

OP please, get your shoes on , the hills are that way ——————————>
Don’t marry him, he will get worse and likely end up violent.
he’s already abusing you.
hope you are ok

Been told how long you can stay out for is a massive no kick him to kerb

Get your stuff together and go to your friend's place asap.

Its coercive controll. If i were you I'd call womens aid. They don't just offer shelter, but counselling to help you recognise the signs of abuse in the future.

You are seeing the real person. Call it a day and move on