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Original poster

Husband sleeping with phone under pillow? - ladies what would you think/do

86 replies

alexis97 · 21/12/2023 00:41

Been having a pretty rough patch in my marriage since my husband started his new job. He has lots of new coworkers male and female. We are currently working on our marriage to improve it for us and the sake of our kids, he says I'm the only woman for him, I'm perfect, there's a reason why he asked me to marry him so soon etc.

He sleeps with his phone under his pillow, this is something he has been doing since he started his new role. I will be confronting him in the morning. What would you think?

OP posts:
Netcam · 21/12/2023 11:18

Definite fire hazard. Mine is on silent at night, same for DH, notification sounds in the night would drive us both crazy!

KatnissNeverdone · 21/12/2023 11:33

DH is in the Prison Service and is in various group chats that ping at all hours due to everyone being on various shifts. They seem to be a close knit group and there's a lot of "banter" . He's got them all muted so they don't ping all the time. There are also a lot of after work drinks and nights out. It is a stressful job. DH has never been away with a group from work though as it would be really unlikely for them all to get the same days off.

However, as a pp said above though, the prison service is extremely incestuous and affairs are rife, especially amongst the younger staff. DH likes to keep me updated on who's shagging who and who crept off with who on nights out.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 21/12/2023 11:47

Yeah, my ex was a PO too. Was having an affair with someone at work and wouldn't let his phone out of his sight. Went into a right panic when I picked his phone up once in the morning and took it to work by mistake instead of mine. Turned up when I was a meeting to swap them over. Note, ex.

ForTonightGodisaDJ · 21/12/2023 11:47

Light sleeper here but seriously who the feck wants to sleep next to all that lot going off? You've got more patience than me!

Fannyfiggs · 21/12/2023 12:14

purplehue · 21/12/2023 08:25

Major fire risk especially if it's on charge. It will over heat and set fire to the pillow and his head.

In that case, I'd enthusiastically encourage him to continue to sleep with it under his pillow.

Firefly2009 · 21/12/2023 12:15

If he's having an affair, he's not very good at it. What kind of an idiot doesn't put their phone on silent when they're hiding stuff? Also, this is inconsiderate during the night.
You are being way too patient. I would have thrown that phone against the wall a long time ago. Just ask him if he's having an affair, and if not then why is he hiding his phone.
Or, you hide his phone and see to what extent he freaks out.

This would really annoy me.

Firefly2009 · 21/12/2023 12:22

Fannyfiggs · 21/12/2023 12:14

In that case, I'd enthusiastically encourage him to continue to sleep with it under his pillow.

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂

Crikeyalmighty · 21/12/2023 12:22

I would think if it was other women then surely notifications would be off? Is he on lots of work related WhatsApp groups? I would certainly be wanting to know what it was. Next time it happens ask to see his phone immediately and be honest and say it's getting ridiculous and you are concerned. If it's something and nothing he shouldn't have an issue showing you- whilst in there- have a quick glance down the lists of messages - I'm sorry but this would make me feel uncomfortable-

Isthisexpected · 21/12/2023 18:42

Your updates suggest you've completely devoted yourself to his happiness and he isn't remotely bothered about reciprocating even half the time.

Cherrysoup · 21/12/2023 19:12

Why is his phone not on silent if you’re both in bed? That’s so selfish. Mine is silent and only the alarm goes off for me getting up for work (rarely, I’m usually awake before the alarm).

MMmomDD · 21/12/2023 22:30

@alexis97

The phone under pillow is not the issue here. You have a whole host of real issues.

Why did you move away from friends and family when you have a toddler and a baby on the way?
And gave up a job you liked???

So that he can her a job he can probably get pretty much anywhere - don’t we have prisons/corrections institutions in most areas…
Or he could have found something else upon leaving the army. Plenty of places need his skill set.

You are way too focused on what he wants/needs - while your needs are completely ignored. Not a great dynamics to model for your kids.

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