What is needy?

[Snisel]

What would you describe as needy behaviours and how exactly would you define the term? I’m interested in all examples from any kind of relationship, not just romantic. It can be romantic, friends, colleagues, whatever. Would like to know how to always recognise what is too needy and prevent behaving in such a manner. TIA

What’s wrong with me asking if this was a one-off or a general pattern of behaviour? Pretty relevant to your original question I think.

The way internet forums work is that someone asks a question seeking the views & points of view of others…. then others provide said thoughts and points of view, often asking for additional information on which to be able to base their answers.

HTH

🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes this seems needy and also lacking boundaries and self awareness.

Well, this and your follow-up reply do make you seem "needy". That's a term I rarely use, because I see nothing wrong with having needs. But @MuckyPlucky asked a question, which you chose to read as a statement about your character. Then you doubled down after being asked to reconsider your reading.

It seems as though you're looking to be insulted and spring quickly to offence. That must be an exhausting way to live! Now I'm wondering if you took the absence of an invitation (to an event you were free to attend anyway) as a mortal insult and gave off vibes of angered offence, as you did here. If so, it explains how a mundane miscommunication left you with such bad feelings that you were moved to post about it.

So, bearing this in mind - it is "needy" to expect VIP treatment and to show offence when you don't get it. So-called needy people often require their friends to treat them as Most Favoured at all times, and play their faces if they feel insufficiently favoured.

It's okay to want to be Most Favoured VIP (though it can make life unduly difficult) but not okay to throw a tantrum if it doesn't happen.

Only you know whether any of this applies to you.

What’s wrong with me asking if this was a one-off or a general pattern of behaviour? Pretty relevant to your original question I think

It was the identification of what the behaviour was that was the issue. It identified the behaviour as crashingly wrong, misjudged, and that OP had found it hard to read the situation.

@Snisel Don't take any advice from anybody who insults you about the situation you want advice on. They might suggest that you were 'crashingly wrong', but they can't tell you that they were; only that their opinion is that you were. The post could easily have been framed in a much kinder way, but the PP, in my opinion... well, I wonder if they always misjudge how unkind their posts seem, and whether they generally misread the tone of posts so crashingly?

Don't let anyone tell you who you should be. Your being told you made a mistake, by someone else's rules. You're not even meant to be living by those rules! Who is the final arbiter on how your life should work, and how you should behave? Who makes the decisions about who you should be?

It doesn't seem to me as though you're 'looking to be insulted and spring quickly to offence'. It looks as if you question those who unkindly challenge your personality and behaviour.

It's okay to want to be Most Favoured VIP (though it can make life unduly difficult) but not okay to throw a tantrum if it doesn't happen

You didn't want to, though, did you? And you didn't throw a tantrum? So this comment is actually nothing to do with you, your behaviour, your feelings, or your post! Easy to disregard, I hope, as it's really quite unpleasant.

Really no idea what people get out of making these unpleasant posts, unhelpful, and irrelevant posts.