Why are they all doing this to me?

[Sofedup77]

I'm 45, work, have a 7 year old child. I'm told I'm good looking, slim and a good laugh.
I have been doing online dating for the last 2 years since my marriage broke up and I've also met a couple of guys in real life.
Every single one of these guys has either , breadcrumbed me, lost interest after sex, canceled a date, is just happy to have me as a penpal and not actually meet. One guy was even still on the dating app 4 months after we met and I thought we were exclusive.
There have been about 4 men that I have not wanted to see again after the first date and they never contacted me again either. But I still see that as rejection.
I have met older and younger guys, foreign and not foreign and they are all doing this.
Honestly I'm baffled, I get a lot of matches and I am quite fussy as well.
My self esteem is now on the floor , I'm feeling so vulnerable and fragile.
I also hate that I now have trust issues which I never ever did before and I'm also a bit bitter at my appalling experiences.
Online dating was never this brutal when I was younger. I'm starting to think it's because I'm older and a single mum and maybe it's putting men off. But I am open about all that on my dating profile.
Even the guys I met in real life ended up being f#ckboys or just having me on the back burner.
So it's younger and older guys doing this to me.
I know yous don't know me but can anyone enlighten me as to what the f is going on.

No, not just you. Me too and these are the first few I found via search with other ladies who say the same:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4751495-online-dating-are-all-the-men-creepy-now-a-days

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4626042-online-dating-absolutely-fucking-grim

I think it would be wise to leave the dating apps alone. Certainly never do them when you feel so vulnerable and fragile.

Step away. Its a bear pit, fun if you're feeling breezy and ballsy, otherwise step away.

There have been about 4 men that I have not wanted to see again after the first date and they never contacted me again either. But I still see that as rejection.

This is a bit unreasonable. You can't expect every bloke to want to take it further. You didn't like them anyway.

You definitely need to take a break from the apps and spend some time just enjoying being you. Have you spent much time since your marriage not looking?

My self esteem is now on the floor , I'm feeling so vulnerable and fragile

so stop online dating , effective now
this experience is so common and universal
its not just you

but as a PP said you need to be in the right headspace , breezy etc

doing OLD when you are hurt or heartbroken is literally self harm

stop and do something nicer instead
forget about dating for a while and get your mojo back

And be single ! Sounds like you went into OLD after a divorce and no pause ?
no Wonder you feel crappy

Men can generally date younger. So a male 40 year old has the option of dating a younger woman who doesn't have kids.

And if a guy wants to have their own kids they're unlikely to date a woman in her 40's.

So the pool of men available to you is quite limited and it will take time to find something that will work for you.

Yes this bit is really unreasonable. If you don’t want to see them again then how is it a rejection? Someone not fancying you isn’t a rejection, it’s just life. Honestly this just sounds like standard dating, things often fizzle out after a few dates as one or both parties realise it isn’t working for them.

If you can’t deal with the fact that not everyone will fancy you or develop romantic feelings for you, or may think they like you then realise actually you’re not the right match for them further down the line, that’s an issue with you and your self esteem rather than their behaviour. yes, it’s shit if they just ghost rather than bothering to let you know, but your worth and value isn’t defined by whether men want to date you or not.

Did you even want a relationship with any of these blokes or do you just want someone - anyone - to want to be with you? You don’t need to be romantically desired to have self esteem, you need to feel like you have intrinsic value regardless of whether anyone likes you romantically. Did these men even meet your standards and needs? Sounds like you’ve had lucky escapes if they’re the types that can’t even be honest about how they feel so do the slow fade instead or breadcrumb you, they sound pretty crappy to be honest.

Guys feel this way too I'm from the same area been on dating app been on the shelf too long