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Relationships

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Original poster

He is 27, I am 44

94 replies

LunaScorpio · 13/12/2023 19:15

Hi ladies, I need your opinions. After a couple of years of dating (I was married) with men of my age, I decided to go for younger guys. I can't deal with the emotional baggage the older guys bring to my relatively balanced life any more, it destroys me. Plus they tend to be stuck in their way which I find unattractive because I value self-improvement.

Anyway, I met this guy online, he is 27, I went on a first date without any expectations but itturneds out to be one of the best dates I ever had! He came across as mature, sincere respectful, and is looking for a serious relationship. Energetically we are a good match as he is tall and masculine (nerd with muscle 😅) and I am playful and feminine. Intellectually we also match, he is physics and I am psychology which create deep chats easily. Lookwise, zero issue, I look at least 10 years younger than my actual age.

Although I am much older, I recently started embarking on a new career change, he is the one earning more than I do atm so no power imbalance between us. We are both ambitious and have goals in life want to achieve.

Do you think it will work in the long run?

OP posts:

MyFirstLittlePony · 14/12/2023 07:53

It does not have to be all or nothing

if you are having a nice time, just see where it goes

it could just be a nice interlude in your life, or a life long love story… who cares?

just take it one day at a time

Cornflakes44 · 14/12/2023 07:57

If you want kids and he does there's a chance it could work. You'd have to have that convo pretty quickly and start the process straight. People do get pregnant at 44, but it's unlikely. You could be lucky and if you are committed then IVF etc could work. But all this depends if he's the one. Only you know whether it's worth the risk.

Lemsipper · 14/12/2023 08:16

Nobody on here knows.

If you like him just go for it, at least couldn’t he be your sperm donor? 😄

Avacardo2023 · 14/12/2023 09:17

Posters are not trying to be unkind to the OP, but it's important to point out that if she wants children then there is no time to waste and this is what she should focus on. If she acts now there might be an small window of opportunity to use her own eggs with donor sperm but the clock is ticking. It's not the time to start thinking about messing around with a 27 year old unless he is willing to be the sperm donor.

Tbry · 14/12/2023 21:21

This is a really depressing thread, so sorry OP. 💐

OK many of you definitely do not approve of age gaps and many are commenting on when the man reaches 40 will leave etc etc.

I’m in my 50s my partner is in his 40s (20yr relationship) and it’s really horrible to read that, sounds like you are all wishing it on women like me. Why? The age difference in my relationship makes no difference to us or the outside world.

The reason some of us in an age gap relationship (where the woman is older) is because we were let down so badly by a man and probably abandoned with a child or children when we were younger. I certainly was and then years later I finally met a lovely man who became my friend and then became my partner.

Duh · 14/12/2023 22:15

@Tbry The reason some of us in an age gap relationship (where the woman is older) is because we were let down so badly by a man and probably abandoned with a child or children when we were younger. I certainly was and then years later I finally met a lovely man who became my friend and then became my partner.

I’m struggling to understand what the above statement has to do with an age gap (for either sex). It just sounds like you were looking for someone decent which is nothing to do with age.

Tbry · 14/12/2023 22:39

Duh · 14/12/2023 22:15

I’m struggling to understand what the above statement has to do with an age gap (for either sex). It just sounds like you were looking for someone decent which is nothing to do with age.

I would agree. I only mentioned it as so many comments that when the younger man reaches 40plus he will abandon you for a younger model. That’s not a nice thing to say when you ‘hope’ you are finally with someone decent.

I think this thread was just getting to me tbh as it’s depressing to read.

Enjoy your life OP and enjoy spending time with the new man in your life. He may turn out to be your best friend and dear partner. Age is irrelevant 💜

emotionalpuddle · 14/12/2023 23:34

@LunaScorpio I haven't read your thread much past your initial post and don't know if you'll see this, my advice would be to enjoy it while it lasts. It may be short lived or long term, you don't know if you don't try? I started dating someone much older thinking it won't last, we want different things etc but we're still together and have more in common than I did with anyone my own age.. what do you have to lose by dating the chap?

myNewName21 · 15/12/2023 07:49

Tbry · 14/12/2023 22:39

I think this thread was just getting to me tbh as it’s depressing to read.

Enjoy your life OP and enjoy spending time with the new man in your life. He may turn out to be your best friend and dear partner. Age is irrelevant 💜

Show quote history

That’s not how I read it, at 27 the guy is still enjoying life, by 35 he might well be thinking about his own future, maybe seeing his peer group with young children, by which time the OP would be over 50 and in a massively different life stage.

Zanatdy · 15/12/2023 08:09

Why not just see how it goes? No-one here knows if it will work out or go, give it a whirl and enjoy yourself

AbsolutelyFemale · 15/12/2023 14:16

As a funny aside, we went to see Heaven 17 recently. They sang Come Live with Me, the first line of which is "I was 37, you were 17" all the audience went "oooh" in a horrified way and the lead singer laughed and acknowledged they were different times 😅

Tiredbehyondbelief · 15/12/2023 14:30

I can see it working. Go on a few more dates and decide for yourself if there's enough chemistry. If you both want children you might want to look into surrogacy. It would be difficult for you to get pregnant and carry a baby to full term. Also the risks are so much higher for you and the baby because of your age (I am a midwife and a good friend of mine is a nurse working in a fertility clinic). Apart from this I don't see any reason why this relationship cannot work long term

QueenBitch666 · 15/12/2023 14:34

I'd say go for it but be open to the fact that it might not stay the distance. I personally don't find the age difference an issue as long as it works for you both

SallyWD · 15/12/2023 14:48

There's a big chance it won't work out long term but it might.
I know a guy who got together with a 45 year old woman when he was 25. She already had children, he had no interest in having his own. They lived together very happily for 25 years, until she died aged 70. They were one of the happiest couples I knew.

HandyLittleGadget · 15/12/2023 14:55

My son started seeing a woman when he was 24, she was 51. They bought a house together (She had adult kids who had already left home), and had some wonderful holidays. She was one of our family. After about 8 years, he felt the age gap was too great, and they split up. He bought another house, lived alone for 5 years. He's now 38, with a woman of 30, and they've got a 1 year old baby.

shalligiveupagain · 15/12/2023 15:23

Of course it can work. I know someone who got with a 22 year old at 37 and another who got with a 20 year old in her early 30's. The biggest issue is whether you are on the same page on kids, which they all were and are together now decades later.

JudyGemstone · 15/12/2023 15:36

I’m 44 and my boyfriend of 9 years is 33, it works well but kids were never on the table and I was always clear on that. I have 2 teens and didn’t want anymore. If he wants them in the future we’ll split then I guess.

even relationships between people the same age end for all sorts of reasons, I’d say keep an open mind and crack on.

Miamor3 · 21/09/2025 21:16

G??

Miamor3 · 27/09/2025 20:43

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