Who do you talk to when you have no one?

[AFortressDeepAndMighty]

Just that really.

I have brother I'm not close to who's quite self centred and who I'm superficially close with. Eg we get on when we see each other but we only see each other once or twice a year with our families.

I have two children who are late teens and early 20s.

I don't really have any friends. I know a lot of people and have a couple of good work friends and a few friends through hobbies but they're not close and we only meet up to do the hobby and any chat is hobby related.

I have a partner but the relationship doesn't feel right any more.

I've posted on here a couple of times about specific things I was worried about but the posts went unanswered.

There's too much in my head. I need someone to talk to. Not just about stuff I'm worried about but about light hearted fun stuff.

I had a few good friends a few years ago but the friendships ended for different reasons.

I just feel so lonely.

But you're right, it is self perpetuating. I know that and can obviously see it, but I have no energy left to be sociable

See, this is the problem. If you want friends which is perfectly understandable, you will have to get out there and make the effort with people. Friendship takes commitment and reciprocity. I'm so sorry you're lonely but you are going to have to put in some effort if you want to make close friends. This means putting yourself out there, socialising, taking an interest in others, supporting them too, not just focussing on them as a way to banish your loneliness. This comes across as very needy. I don't mean that to be unkind but instead of focusing so much on friends being your answer to loneliness, focus on what you can give to others. People WILL pick up on others who need them to fill a inner void and it's incredibly off-putting because it's a big responsibility to put on someone else's shoulders.

@AFortressDeepAndMighty I'm in a similar boat even down to the relationship woes.
Where I live unless you are a drinker or a mum at the school gates it's hard to meet people.
But I'm massively into music so if you're anywhere near North Lincs I'd definitely come and hear your band and have a socially awkward 5 minute chat!
I've recently started learning a musical instrument in a beginners group which is very friendly and supportive and something to look forward to.

Try again with the Pub Quiz .. and the band. They might have been a bit down too! Keep trying x

Get thee to a GP to do a physical health check first. Then try six sessions with a counsellor, to practise opening up and talking. Your DH sounds like a nice man and also lonely. Maybe couples counselling to get you connecting again?

I spoke to a counsellor. I got 6 free sessions at work most companies do this as part of their well being package. Maybe this is something you could do. There are also places like ‘chatty cafes’. Another thing to do is go and do something you enjoy meet like minded people and you will be surprised once you get to know different people they can become friends and confidents. It’s not easy but I’m sure you will sort this out.