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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Silent treatment:(

68 replies

Dancingchicken · 07/12/2023 20:06

Not the first time but its lasted a week when it's usually 2 days and always when I express a different view or even unprovoked. I called him out on some nasty comments he made about other women and that he wouldn't take no for an answer when I had commitments and couldn't meet until the end of the week (he had been on holiday and I had no idea when he was back so made plans with friends). What should I do?

OP posts:
EveSix · 07/12/2023 20:09

Run.
Seriously.
Someone who sulks, shuns or dishes out the silent treatment is a dangerous person.
He is grooming you into submission.
Please do not pursue a relationship with this man.

Olika · 07/12/2023 20:11

I couldn't be bothered to deal with such behaviour. Just call it off.

Polly271220 · 07/12/2023 20:12

Fuck him off! You deserve better

AgnesX · 07/12/2023 20:13

What should you do? Simple. Dump him.

Sunshineclouds11 · 07/12/2023 20:13

Yeah fuck that.

Thank you, next

Timeout22 · 07/12/2023 20:14

If someone sulks rather than changes/apologies when their bad behaviour is being called out on then they are an immature fool. Run and find a grown up x

Velvetbee · 07/12/2023 20:15

Run.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 07/12/2023 20:15

This is abusive behaviour from him.

Your relationship with him now needs to be at an end. You need to remember always that the only acceptable level of abuse
in a relationship is none.

PaminaMozart · 07/12/2023 20:18

Who is 'he' ?

And why are you putting up with this 💩

StrawberryWater · 07/12/2023 20:23

Sulking men are gross, immature morons. How the hell anyone can shag a man baby is beyond me.

Get rid of him.

Original poster
Dancingchicken · 07/12/2023 20:54

This is my bf sorry for not clarifying. He can ignore me for a couple of days but not heard since I told him to stop making derogatory comments about women and that him being nasty all the time is crap. This was a week ago. We've been together 2.5 years

OP posts:
Needanewnamebeingwatched · 07/12/2023 20:56

Dancingchicken · 07/12/2023 20:54

This is my bf sorry for not clarifying. He can ignore me for a couple of days but not heard since I told him to stop making derogatory comments about women and that him being nasty all the time is crap. This was a week ago. We've been together 2.5 years

Call time on his abusive behaviour, block and move on

Falalalalaa · 07/12/2023 20:57

He is abusive and controlling.

You need to end this relationship.

Mazuslongtoenail · 07/12/2023 20:58

Not waste any more of your time on him. Cut your losses unless you want that forever.

Opentooffers · 07/12/2023 21:51

So what he's your BF of 2.5 years. Still get rid - like you should of done the first time he was out of order.

Burntouted · 07/12/2023 21:53

He is a controlling man, a dictator, and a abuser.

Run as fast as you can. Leave him alone permanently.

Trust me, things will only worsen if you stay.

You don't want or need those type of problems.

Learn to love and respect yourself more. Learn, know, and keep your worth.

The fact that you have to ask, instead of already know what you should do...is sad.

Original poster
Dancingchicken · 07/12/2023 22:14

That's what worries me as this is a worsening behaviour. The nice him seems fewer and further apart and there's constant jibes and bitterness all the time. I told him to stop doing it about me and strangers as it isn't needed. I figured the fact this is the longest by far is his way of dumping me.

OP posts:
Whataretalkingabout · 07/12/2023 22:24

Men who sulk and give the silent treatment learned this dysfunctional behavior at a very early age. They are emotionally immature and will never grow up. It will only get worse. Yes, he may have a few nice qualities too, but noone is 100% awful. What percentage of bad are you willing to put up with?

Raise your standards, @Dancingchicken . Learn to love yourself. You are worth much more.

PaminaMozart · 07/12/2023 22:25

He has shown who he is, i.e. emotionally abusive
He won't change.
Dump him now.
You'll feel relieved - maybe not today or tomorrow, but in due course.

MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig · 07/12/2023 22:27

Yeah, grown ups use their words.

What a turn off. Bin him.

SittingOnTheChair · 07/12/2023 22:52

Leave.

Northernsouloldies · 07/12/2023 23:00

Get rid unless you want to be walking on eggshells to avoid the silent treatment with whatever sets off this abusive prick. I wouldn't waste time fathoming out what sets off said abusive prick either.

AyrshireTryer · 07/12/2023 23:03

Please, as someone who haas been there, get out now.

Dotcheck · 07/12/2023 23:04

Honestly, leave.
He says awful things about women, he punishes you when you don’t comply with his orders with the silent treatment. This is deep maladaptive behaviour

Peanuts2000 · 07/12/2023 23:08

Thank goodness you are not married or have children with him I presume? As others have said it's a form of abuse.

You said it's not the first time he's done it.
Don't try and get him back.