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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boyfriend and Snapchat

76 replies

Unsure9777 · 06/12/2023 02:35

So my boyfriend has always said he doesn't have Snapchat,no reason for me not to believe him.

But today a friend convinced me to download it for some silly filters, just for fun.
But when I downloaded it,it shows people who's numbers you have in your phone that have Snapchat,so you can add them, my boyfriend was one of them.

I asked him about it,as he said he doesn't have it 🧐
He told me he had deleted it before we started dating a few years ago and he doesn't know why it still shows

I don't know about this stuff, would it still show now if he had deleted it?

I know my friends have has bfs that have used Snapchat as a way to cheat before,so I'm unsure

It has his date of birth an avatar and a snap score?
Am I being too suspicious?

It's just I've heard a few times that Snapchat is a popular way for men to cheat

OP posts:
altmember · 06/12/2023 02:48

Like pretty much any online service, deleting the app from your phone doesn't delete your account from their servers. He's giving you a completely valid explanation, whether he's telling you the truth or not is another matter. Do you trust him?

Unsure9777 · 06/12/2023 02:55

altmember · 06/12/2023 02:48

Like pretty much any online service, deleting the app from your phone doesn't delete your account from their servers. He's giving you a completely valid explanation, whether he's telling you the truth or not is another matter. Do you trust him?

I did trust him completely until I saw that

OP posts:
Unsure9777 · 06/12/2023 02:59

My friend added him and sent this, there can't be any mistake right? He's using it to meet women?

Boyfriend and Snapchat
OP posts:
Unsure9777 · 06/12/2023 03:01

I know it seems childish, meeting women on Snapchat.but I had no Idea he was in it

OP posts:
mushroomushroom · 06/12/2023 03:57

It's a long time since I used Snapchat, but is it possible that it's linked to an old phone that someone else is using? I've known people's WhatsApp numbers to change after they get a new number (as in, someone moved country and got a new phone, and their previous phone number is now being used by someone else).

Can your friend send a few more messages and see if there's a way to find out if it's actually him?

Bournetilly · 06/12/2023 04:03

If he’s messaged your friend then unfortunately looks like he was lying. Can your friend send some more messages to see what he says?

Unsure9777 · 06/12/2023 04:12

I'll get my friend to try a few more messages. I never thought he would do this before.

But it's definitely his number

OP posts:
HelpMeGetThrough · 06/12/2023 05:23

If he has had it in the past and just deleted the app, then yes he'll show as still being on there.

I downloaded it years ago and deleted it after an hour, as I don't see the point of it. I have it again now, as our eldest tracks me on snap maps when I'm driving to get him from Uni. My old account was still there.

MilkChocolateCookie · 06/12/2023 05:30

His explanation sounded reasonable, but him replying to your friend definitely means he is lying. Sorry OP.

Dj2020 · 06/12/2023 06:11

Yeah he's definitely lying. He's replied to your friend so he definitely is on Snapchat. Does he know your friend?

autienotnaughty · 06/12/2023 06:17

It's definitely suspicious why would he like about using it unless he has something to hide?

Hiddenvoice · 06/12/2023 06:17

I had Snapchat but haven’t used it in years but I didn’t delete the account, jusg removed it from my phone so if someone logged in they might still see my profile.

It does look like he uses it though if he’s replied to your friend. Does he know your friend?

C1N1C · 06/12/2023 06:44

I'm old... (well, not really, just not into this sort of stuff). What is Snapchat used for? How does it work?

GreyCarpet · 06/12/2023 07:11

C1N1C · 06/12/2023 06:44

I'm old... (well, not really, just not into this sort of stuff). What is Snapchat used for? How does it work?

You can message peoplenakdnthe messages disappear once read. So it's a popular way for people to cheat because there's no evidence.

OP, I think you should have said in your first post that he'd messaged your friend because a lot of people will respond to your op without realising he's messaged her.

It appears that the OP's bf made the first contact? Either way, he couldn't have messaged if he'd deleted the app because it wouldn't be on his phone so he wouldn't know about it.

I'd also ask her to send another message. See what's his response is.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 06/12/2023 07:20

Unsure9777 · 06/12/2023 02:59

My friend added him and sent this, there can't be any mistake right? He's using it to meet women?

Well aside from being utterly childish. He hasn't responded to it and he probably won't because your idiotic friend took a screenshot and it will notify him of this.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 06/12/2023 07:22

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 06/12/2023 07:20

Well aside from being utterly childish. He hasn't responded to it and he probably won't because your idiotic friend took a screenshot and it will notify him of this.

As in he hasn't responded to the latest message. Where they randomly said hello again, which makes it even more obvious after taking a screenshot 🙄

Lying aside, I don't see how it's okay for you to have it but say he can't.

QueenofTerrasen · 06/12/2023 07:31

What if he knows it's your friend and just saying hello?
But yeah it's notified him it's been screenshot so that's buggered that idea anyway.

littlebopeepp234 · 06/12/2023 07:47

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 06/12/2023 07:20

Well aside from being utterly childish. He hasn't responded to it and he probably won't because your idiotic friend took a screenshot and it will notify him of this.

He has responded if you bother to look!!!! So maybe think what you write before calling her friend idiotic!! And how can he be notified of someone taking a screenshot????

GreyCarpet · 06/12/2023 07:48

QueenofTerrasen · 06/12/2023 07:31

What if he knows it's your friend and just saying hello?
But yeah it's notified him it's been screenshot so that's buggered that idea anyway.

He told the OP he didn't have Snapchat. If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have been able to message.

GreyCarpet · 06/12/2023 07:50

littlebopeepp234 · 06/12/2023 07:47

He has responded if you bother to look!!!! So maybe think what you write before calling her friend idiotic!! And how can he be notified of someone taking a screenshot????

The whole point of Snapchat is that messages disappear and aren't recorded so it always notifies the sender if the message has been screenshot. It's a feature of the app.

yhk · 06/12/2023 07:53

Unsure9777 · 06/12/2023 02:59

My friend added him and sent this, there can't be any mistake right? He's using it to meet women?

There's no mistake that he's using Snapchat.

Whether or not he's using it to meet women... you may never know.

Your friend taking a screenshot (which notifies him), along with you mentioning Snapchat to him recently may tip him the wink that it's a set up.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 06/12/2023 07:57

littlebopeepp234 · 06/12/2023 07:47

He has responded if you bother to look!!!! So maybe think what you write before calling her friend idiotic!! And how can he be notified of someone taking a screenshot????

If you'd bothered to look at my second comment, you'd see I said he hasn't responded to the friend's second message. And indeed it does show up on his screen when a screenshot has been taken.

Coconutter24 · 06/12/2023 07:57

Unsure9777 · 06/12/2023 04:12

I'll get my friend to try a few more messages. I never thought he would do this before.

But it's definitely his number

Get her to message him whilst your with him then if he gets a notification or checks his phone you know he’s lying

Burntouted · 06/12/2023 09:14

What's with all the games?

If you feel like he's lying, leave.

If he's lying, or innocent (Perhaps it is an old account that he forgot to delete
. A lot of people forget they have old accounts.) Perhaps he thought he deleted it long ago...Regardless he knows you and your "friend" (you?) are behind the recent messages and he's playing along.

How do you know he didn't use or have it on his phone firstly, but downloaded it to firstly see what you were talking about when you mentioned an account, secondly to try and remove it permanently??

Sounds like you never trusted him, perhaps trust issues from previous relationships carrying over??

For someone who allegedly trusted him before this, you sure are on a mission to try and convict him..there's no benefit of the doubt.

Has he cheated and acted inappropriately in the past??

I ask because you seem paranoid and perhaps the thought that he could be has been long running in your mind.

Did you really intentionally download the app to see if he was cheating on you because you heard previously from others about app cheating boyfriends??

"I know my friends have has bfs that have used Snapchat as a way to cheat before,so I'm unsure"

"It's just I've heard a few times that Snapchat is a popular way for men to cheat"

How do you know it's an actual screenshot of his this app phone?? How did you verify it?? You're snooping through his phone???

Has it ever occurred to you that your "friend"(kinda think it's you tbh) perhaps is lying or has falsified these messages??? Perhaps (if it's not you) the messages were created through a fake app, or perhaps they may be sending you messages from someone else??

There are jealous people in this world, who do things like that. Intentionally causing rifts trying to break up relationships. People that don't like to see others or specific people happy.

You said that you've been together for a few years....Do you just want to leave the relationship, because you don't need excuses or an "out" to leave...perhaps it has run it's course?

Regardless if cheating or not,

Are you going to leave?

You'll never trust him again(if you ever did)

littlebopeepp234 · 06/12/2023 10:40

GreyCarpet · 06/12/2023 07:50

The whole point of Snapchat is that messages disappear and aren't recorded so it always notifies the sender if the message has been screenshot. It's a feature of the app.

yes I have only just found that out from googling after reading this thread haha.