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Original poster

Boyfriend and Snapchat

76 replies

Unsure9777 · 06/12/2023 02:35

So my boyfriend has always said he doesn't have Snapchat,no reason for me not to believe him.

But today a friend convinced me to download it for some silly filters, just for fun.
But when I downloaded it,it shows people who's numbers you have in your phone that have Snapchat,so you can add them, my boyfriend was one of them.

I asked him about it,as he said he doesn't have it 🧐
He told me he had deleted it before we started dating a few years ago and he doesn't know why it still shows

I don't know about this stuff, would it still show now if he had deleted it?

I know my friends have has bfs that have used Snapchat as a way to cheat before,so I'm unsure

It has his date of birth an avatar and a snap score?
Am I being too suspicious?

It's just I've heard a few times that Snapchat is a popular way for men to cheat

OP posts:
littlebopeepp234 · 07/12/2023 14:50

BodyKeepingScore · 07/12/2023 14:39

What age are you OP? I ask because it's incredibly bizarre that you'd rope your friend into trying to somehow trap your BF rather than simply having an upfront conversation with him?

That's the type of thing my teenage DD and her friends would get up to.

Well put it this way, I’m in my 40s and I would probably ask the help of a friend in catching out a cheating partner!

Do you seriously think that men who chat to random women on Snapchat with a view of cheating are going to openly admit during ‘the conversation’ that they have been cheating? Do you seriously think they will say “oh yes as a matter of fact I do have Snapchat and I’ve been chatting to women who I’d like to meet up with for a shag behind your back”! Errr no, anyone who has been cheated on knows that the absolute worst think you can do is confront them (or have the conversation) because all they do is deny and deny, conjure up some bullshit excuse and carry on regardless but become more careful in covering their tracks! Might even delete that Snapchat account and get a new sim, create a whole new Snapchat account and start again… and op would be oblivious!

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 07/12/2023 14:53

BodyKeepingScore · 07/12/2023 14:39

What age are you OP? I ask because it's incredibly bizarre that you'd rope your friend into trying to somehow trap your BF rather than simply having an upfront conversation with him?

That's the type of thing my teenage DD and her friends would get up to.

You'll get PPs back up saying that. I got absolute ridicule for suggesting the same thing. Still convinced its the OPs friend actually if I'm honest 😅

GreyCarpet · 07/12/2023 16:56

Just wanted to pick up on a couple of things other posters have said.

If this were an old app he'd forgotten about or a pre installed app on his phone he knew nothing of, he wouldn't have received the message from the OPs friend. Nor would he have replied to it. Or he would have said, "Huh, you'll never guess what..?"

littlebopeepp234 · 07/12/2023 18:27

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 07/12/2023 14:53

You'll get PPs back up saying that. I got absolute ridicule for suggesting the same thing. Still convinced its the OPs friend actually if I'm honest 😅

Show quote history

You know, it’s funny you should say that! I’m actually starting to think you’re the op’s bf 😅

Original poster
Unsure9777 · 09/12/2023 02:31

Thanks for all the replies, he obviously isn't stupid enough to reply to my friend now.

I'll just have to leave it here.i don't want to ruin a good relationship just because of Snapchat,he hasn't given me a reason to doubt him

I've asked him and he said he doesn't have it, hasn't for a few years.

OP posts:
Original poster
Unsure9777 · 09/12/2023 02:35

The app says he was online this month, but I'm hoping it's a mistake. He has assured me he hasn't had it for a long time and it must be a very old account

Boyfriend and Snapchat
OP posts:
DcatAnnie · 09/12/2023 02:55

It seems very suspicious that he answered your friend, sorry. There is no way I could leave this unresolved.

Personally I would leave it a few days and get a different friend to chat to him and take a photo with a second phone not a screenshot.

Redrose23 · 09/12/2023 03:04

He has it, he’s been on it, and he messaged a woman he doesn’t know on it (your friend)

he lied about it

people who lie lie for a reason, because they are the type to hide things, and are hiding something…

It’s NOT childish to ask for the truth, and to follow your instinct that you may have been lied to, and to do something to nip that in the bud. Nobody wants to be lied to and cheated on and find out years later. She went to him first, and something didn’t feel right, so she followed it up.

Not sure OP why you are now ignoring the clear evidence that is in your face.

Breezy1985 · 09/12/2023 03:19

Unsure9777 · 09/12/2023 02:31

Thanks for all the replies, he obviously isn't stupid enough to reply to my friend now.

I'll just have to leave it here.i don't want to ruin a good relationship just because of Snapchat,he hasn't given me a reason to doubt him

I've asked him and he said he doesn't have it, hasn't for a few years.

Except he has given you a reason to doubt him, he's lied straight to your face.
It's not the having Snapchat that's the problem it's the lies about it - what else is he lying about?

littlebopeepp234 · 09/12/2023 03:58

Unsure9777 · 09/12/2023 02:35

The app says he was online this month, but I'm hoping it's a mistake. He has assured me he hasn't had it for a long time and it must be a very old account

Op if the app says he was online this month then how can it be a mistake? Apps aren’t human to make mistakes! They tell the truth!! Stop making excuses for him, he is lying! Don’t be so naive!!! Many people have given you lots of advice on here but you choose to jump to his defense! If you’re going to turn a blind eye and pretend the app is making a mistake and get defensive about him then I don’t understand why you are on here asking for advice when you’re just going to come back trying to defend him and believe all his lies 🤷‍♀️ No wonder he is taking the piss with bullshit excuses and telling you it’s an old app and he hasn’t used it in ages and has assured you ‘he doesn’t use it anymore’ if he knows you’re that naive you’re going to believe him!

GreyCarpet · 09/12/2023 08:49

Obviously, it's your choice how ypu espknd to this situation, OP. It's your choice to believe and accept what you will.

But don't believe he doesn't have it.

He clearly does.

The app shows he's been online on the last month and he has sent at least one message on it because you've seen it.

How on earth can you still believe that he doesn't have the app?? You're literally gaslighting yourself.

littlebopeepp234 · 09/12/2023 08:56

Also just to add op, he HAS been online in the last month because he replied to your friend so he does have the app and he does use it! Do you seriously think your friend sending you a screenshot and him being online within the month is a mistake because he told you so?? He is lying! But you can’t see the wood for the trees! No point coming on here asking for advice if you already have a set opinion of what you want to believe.

Gall10 · 09/12/2023 09:03

Men don’t need Snapchat to cheat!

1smallhamsterfoot · 09/12/2023 09:11

He literally replied to someone and you’re gonna say it’s a mistake it can’t be him on there?!? Sorry to be harsh but are you a fucking idiot?

Peacheroo · 09/12/2023 09:12

Sounds like he could fuck your friend in front of you and you'd still find an excuse. Don't ask the question if you're going to ignore the answer.

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 09/12/2023 09:14

Gall10 · 09/12/2023 09:03

Men don’t need Snapchat to cheat!

No but if they lie about having it and message random women it's probably helping them achieve that!!

GreyCarpet · 09/12/2023 09:17

Gall10 · 09/12/2023 09:03

Men don’t need Snapchat to cheat!

Snapchat isn't really thr issue here though is it?

It's the fact the OP's boyfriend is lying to her and she has now chosen to believe his lies despite clear evidence to the contrary.

StampOnTheGround · 09/12/2023 09:24

He literally replied to your friend, he is definitely active and using it

littlebopeepp234 · 09/12/2023 09:24

Gall10 · 09/12/2023 09:03

Men don’t need Snapchat to cheat!

No but it’s the 21st century and a lot of men do use Snapchat for that very reason

littlebopeepp234 · 09/12/2023 09:26

Peacheroo · 09/12/2023 09:12

Sounds like he could fuck your friend in front of you and you'd still find an excuse. Don't ask the question if you're going to ignore the answer.

I’m sure op will be back in 6-12 months to ask our advice when she eventually does realise her partner chats to loads of women on Snapchat and has cheated on her, we will give advice and she will still choose to believe he’s innocent lol

TiredMumma247 · 09/12/2023 09:57

If someone has an account they will show up as people you know even if they’ve deleted the app. They’d have to close their account/ delete it for them to stop showing up as a user. It sounds completely plausible that he has an account but just doesn’t use it. I’m wondering why you are so concerned about him having Snapchat?

littlebopeepp234 · 09/12/2023 10:09

TiredMumma247 · 09/12/2023 09:57

If someone has an account they will show up as people you know even if they’ve deleted the app. They’d have to close their account/ delete it for them to stop showing up as a user. It sounds completely plausible that he has an account but just doesn’t use it. I’m wondering why you are so concerned about him having Snapchat?

Except if you read the rest of the thread, op’s friend sent him a message and he replied. He is now telling op’s he doesn’t have the app and that he deleted it ages ago… so how do you think he managed to reply to op’s friend then and also be showing as active in the last month? The issue here is that he is obviously lying about the fact that he is very much using and active on the app and replied to a random female (op’s friend) who messaged him!

GreyCarpet · 09/12/2023 12:27

TiredMumma247 · 09/12/2023 09:57

If someone has an account they will show up as people you know even if they’ve deleted the app. They’d have to close their account/ delete it for them to stop showing up as a user. It sounds completely plausible that he has an account but just doesn’t use it. I’m wondering why you are so concerned about him having Snapchat?

Completely plausible that he doesn't know he has it?

He messaged the OP's friend (not knowing that's who she was).

I might have apps in my phone I don't know about but I've never used them. How could I if I don't know theyre there.

It's not about the OP's boyfriend having Snapchat. Obviously. It's about him denying that he has it and then using it to reply to speculative messages from unknown women.

If I get a message anywhere from men I don't know, I ignore and block. I don't reply. Because why would I?

Thisisworsethananticpated · 09/12/2023 13:46

Even if you delete the app you still have a profile … you have to delete profile and with most things this isn’t easy !

I’ve deleted many an app and when you re download it , they have you !

Squiggles23 · 09/12/2023 13:50

One of my friends was someone else. It was so bizarre, her number and name (because it was linked to my phone) but someone else in a different country. I can’t remember the reason behind it as this was years ago but it was something to do with old phones.

Get your friend to message him when you are with him I guess.