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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My husband breaks all my stuff

75 replies

Soulsista1980 · 02/12/2023 16:03

My husband breaks all my things and blames it on being clumsy. He damages my cars all the time and never pays for repairs and gets angry when I say I can't allow him to use my cars any longer. He contributes nothing financially, smokes marijuana with his coffee at breakfast and always has an excise for not being able to make money to contribute to our home. He complains about me not being a submissive wife and says that he could never trust me alone with our son who is 13, because I don't know how to cook decent food. I work 12 hour shifts 6 days a week. I have to get home at night after leaving home at 6:30am, to clean the house and my bedroom before I can bath and go to sleep because he doesn't even clean, nor does he make the bed when he wakes up. He just relaxes all day, picks our son up from school, cooks for the two of them, then leaves the kitchen dirty for me to come clean after work. He also regularly burns pots of food that I have to throw away. He dishes large plates of food and then eats only half and let's the rest stand on the kitchen counter getting stale. I throw away so much food daily because of his wastefulness. I want to ask if I'm overreacting? I'm not sure of I am at this point. 😔

OP posts:
Goodornot · 02/12/2023 16:04

Why are you with him.

Divorce him and he can live alone.

Honest to God you poor woman, do you have to ask. He's a shit.

AnyFucker · 02/12/2023 16:09

Has he any redeeming features at all ?

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 02/12/2023 16:11

What is keeping you with him?

AdoraBell · 02/12/2023 16:12

I would not up put with this.

Renamed · 02/12/2023 16:14

Imagine your best friend, sister or daughter was telling you this about their husband. What would you think she should do?

Hatty65 · 02/12/2023 16:17

You're happy that your weed smoking waste of space DH is setting an excellent example for your teenage son, are you?

I know which one of you I wouldn't trust alone with an impressionable teenager.

HamsterBanana · 02/12/2023 16:19

And your with him why? I'm guessing he doesn't work either.

Gnomegnomegnome · 02/12/2023 16:22

Why doesn’t he work? Where is he getting money for weed?

He sounds like an idiot.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 02/12/2023 16:25

Where is your self respect here as well as your own boundaries?

You need to divorce this man before he further ruins your son’s life as well as your own.

He has no respect for you whatsoever and he’s an addict to boot.

NeurodivergentBurnout · 02/12/2023 16:27

You’re under reacting!

GandalfTheWhite · 02/12/2023 16:31

I think if anything you are under-reacting. Why do you stay with this man? What redeeming features does he actually possess?

dudsville · 02/12/2023 16:33

I agree with the pp, you're definitely UNDER reacting, by miles and miles. How have you been finding this acceptable? You must be so tired and angry!

Theoldcuriosityshop · 02/12/2023 16:33

He sounds a catch.Angry

Katy231 · 02/12/2023 16:33

Is this real??? ... I read the first few lines and I am in shock. You need to leave him!

diddl · 02/12/2023 16:34

he could never trust me alone with our son who is 13, because I don't know how to cook decent food.

Get rid of the pot smoking waste of space & you could afford cooking lessons for your son!

lesdeluges · 02/12/2023 16:36

What makes you think you are over reacting?

Jackfrostnippingatmynose · 02/12/2023 16:36

Is it cocklodger season as this is my third 🚩🚩🚩cocklodger alert🚩🚩🚩 this week?!

Sounds like he's too stoned most of the time to function as a responsible adult. Apart from picking up your DC from school, what real life actual positives does this feckless cocklodger bring to your life? If you replaced him with afterschool club then at least you'd only be tidying up after 1 adult.

Pinkbonbon · 02/12/2023 16:36

The second you said 'submissive wife' - holy shit, get yourself and your son out of there ASAP!

He's an abusive, red pill freak and he hates women. Get out and get your son out.

At least if you leave him your son will have a place away from him too some of the time.

Leave and make it clear to your son you left because his dad treated you in an unacceptable way and we should never stay with cruel partners.

Ruuuunnnnn! Like, yesterday.

MrsMarzetti · 02/12/2023 16:38

Why on earth do you allow this marriage to continue? Your Son will think this is how relationships work, get him away from his father and tell him that his fathers behaviour is not acceptable.

Tangelablue · 02/12/2023 16:50

What was he like before you married him?
If you separated would you be able to reduce your hours? He sounds horrible and has no respect for you. Take him of your car insurance.

Mylovelygreendress · 02/12/2023 16:52

Just waiting for OP to say he is a great Dad .

LifeExperience · 02/12/2023 16:54

He's an abusive cock-lodging twat. Why are you with him?

GreekDogRescue · 02/12/2023 16:57

Another I’m stuck with a useless cock lodger thread.
Ditch the loser.

Haffiana · 02/12/2023 17:10

This is a sort of amalgam of classic cocklodger posts, isn't it? With an obligatory 'am I overreacting?' tacked on the end.

What it really needs is some sample AI froth-response posts. As a real person I can't be arsed.

DelphiniumBlue · 02/12/2023 17:17

So he’s driving your car with your son in it while he’s stoned?