Seeing someone who won't sleep with me until he's corrected his flaws?

[Tryingtodate]

I have no idea how to word that title. Seeing a guy who I genuinely really, really like. I've been friends with him for about 2 years now and I'd say getting more intimate for the last couple of months and then we were having a discussion where he said he wants to be honest with me because he understands if I want to put an end to it or that I can't cope with such situation and he would completely understand etc etc. (as I feel we are definitely leading to being more intimate, right now we have only really done massages and kisses) anyway... he had an accident where his genitals were damaged and he's having some type of reconstructive surgery taking place in April. We have obviously discussed what this means for him and the future on intimacy and he has said it's fully functioning (he's had a previous surgery on it already) and there's no issues with that side and it's simply now a case of having this surgery to improve the whole look of the area. I literally am not sure what to imagine or how to describe it as that's all the info I really know, he's just saying there's some visual issues in the surrounding area, including groin and thigh and it's all just being made to improve the appearance.

Part of me is sad he doesn't feel like he can show that to me and I wouldn't judge but then I also understand I'm the first person he has even considered being with in the last 5 years since the accident happened so I get it's a very big deal to him. The issue is, we can't really be intimate at all apart from cuddling/kissing/touching of areas that are not genitals, he has said he's happy to give, especially with oral/toys but I personally would feel extremely uncomfortable if he's not really able to engage properly so I think I'd rather just wait until after this.

I guess I'm not sure if it's normal to wait on something like that? I think because this isn't a seeking out situation through online dating and it simply happened by chance and our friendship growing, it feels worth waiting for as my bond with him is so much more than sexual gratification especially as we enjoy the touching and cuddling/kissing part a lot too. However sex and confidence is important to me and what if he has that and still isn't happy?

I know only I can decide but I am curious if people here would be happy to wait? Especially as I am enjoying what we have and appreciate his honesty even if I wish he didn't feel that way

I wouldn't wait because relationships, at the start, are not meant to be like that. The way he has you feeling and questioning it.

There are millions of others guys out there

My first thought was porn induced erectile dysfunction and he is giving himself 6 months to get clean from porn and achieve an erection again.

Whatever the real reason he needs to be honest. It's fine to have insecurities and so no to sex clearly. It's fine to agree you will both wait as long as you both are in full knowledge. You can't have any true intimacy (non physical) if you can't be honest with eachother.

If you are questioning things that's your gut saying I'm not comfortable I don't feel safe. Listen to it.

Regardless of his body or any issues not being open transparent is the deal breaker here.

Is he having counselling himself? Does he talk about his emotions/struggles do you feel at ease to bring the topic up? Is he interested in providing safety and trust for you?

...maybe check for an Adams apple.

I'd seriously be worried that person was actually a trans man.
Have you seen him without a top on?

What caused his accident?

OP. You say that you kiss, so presumably you cuddle too? If you're embracing a man, you can generally feel an erection through his trousers. Can you? If so, that would remove the micro-penis, impotence possibilities.

It's odd though, a penises aren't often aesthetically attractive anyway, so is he worrying about nothing?...as women are primarily concerned about its size and whether it functions, not about how it looks!

Seriously, how many trans-men can pull off being a man to someone who's known them for ages and got close enough to kiss them?! I reckon very, very few... for that reason in doubt he's trans.