Don't know what to do

[Welcometothedigitalcircus]

Been with bf 2 years. 15 year age difference. He denies it but is very insecure and constantly criticises everything about me.

If I tell him something positive I did or want to do he says how he's done it so many times and it's rubbish. If I tell him something getting to me and why even if not about us it feels like he actively tries to fuel my sadness. Example I mentioned I'm insecure about my body and within hours he discusses models he fancies, how he can get any girl. He also criticises my driving a lot as he knew it took a lot of confidence for me to drive and I feel like he is actively trying to make me insecure and upset so he's the better one??

He used to feel so threatened about me being younger convinced I'd leave for someone else, hates me having male friends and says how awful women are constantly as we no longer conform to traditional roles.

I'm really despising him. He has been away 3 weeks so I've been doing my own thing and it's come to a head as I realise I don't miss him and since hearing from him I have a knot in my stomach.

I think you've got your answer.

This bit is the worst. It's really hard to move on, but this guy really doesn't appreciate you. You deserve a lot better, well done on your achievements. Make dumping him your next achievement.

Having a boyfriend and going out on dates is supposed to be fun.

Two years is not that long in the great scheme of things. Cut your losses and find someone who boosts you up, not knocks you down!

He's a controlling bully, don't think twice about ditching him, you don't live together or have any ties, you didn't miss him and now you're feeling anxious again so you know what to do.

He's a good old fashioned fuckwit OP- dump him

Sounds like you are better off eithout him. He just seems to bring negative things to you and doesn't enhance you life. End this relationship and enjoy being single for a while.

If you’re happier when he’s not around that’s telling you everything you need to know.

Sadly there is a theme with some older men wanting a younger partner they think they can manipulate and control.

Get out now it won’t get any better.

A boyfriend/partner is supposed to enhance your life, bring something good or positive to it, otherwise what’s the point? Dump him, you can find better than what you have, even being single is better.

I asked if we could talk as I felt for me there were still some unresolved issues (never said what) and he's said I try to find a problem with everything, think the world revolves around me and he's not talking to me for a week.

he sounds a controlling, nasty man. Listen to your gut. Don't you think you deserve better?

He’s a controlling bully. Who the fuck does he think he is telling you he won’t speak to you for a week? And turning it back on you - classic gaslighting narcissistic tactic.

Please get away from him. It will only get worse - run don’t walk!

I think you really do know exactly what to do. It's blindingly clear and almost like he's pushing you to do it. No woman should put up with that shit. End it and enjoy life without him.

Tell him you'll do one better and not speak to him again.. never mind a week

He clearly isn't making you happy (in fact is actively trying to make you unhappy), is controlling, trying to make you feel insecure, gaslights.... the list goes on.

The only point of being in a relationship is if it makes both your lives better, happier. He is making you unhappy. Your happiness is not remotely important to him. The fact you spend 3 weeks apart and don't miss him tells you everything you need to know.

Remove the power from him. Tell him it's over and block him, and don't look back. You know who he is and it isn't going to get any better.

I know this is difficult for you and controlling men are not a laughing matter but him giving you a “time out” for a week did make me laugh- what an insufferable prick. Please get shot of him. Perhaps he isn’t insecure as such just self aware enough to know he is a bag of rubbish and nowhere near good enough for you

Hes blocked me now my last message isn't sending. I don't know why people do this.

Do you live separately? I hope so. If you do then I just wouldn't speak to him again.

Don’t let the door hit you on the bum as you walk out the door.. stop trying to fix something that isn’t worth fixing..

You won’t understand because you’re not a vindictive control freak.

Don’t try to work him out. Hes an AH. Block him back and move on from his pathetic behaviour.

To get the last word. He'll be thinking he's clever and you'll be worried and upset but he's actually doing you a favour. You need to go cold turkey and, no matter how much you may want to, not contact him again. If he's got any stuff at your place, bag it up and put it at his door when you know he won't be there. If you've got any stuff at his place, life is much better de-cluttered.

His behaviour will only get worse if you keep giving him any more of your attention, so it's best not to. You will probably be upset about the end of the relationship, even thought it was so stressful, but this is your body's way of helping you process the trauma he put you through. It will take time to heal but you'll get there

It's not the first time he's blocked me when I've tried to raise concerns. He unblocked me the next day and acted like nothing happened. Can I just take it as over, no need to tell him anything and leave it? The first time he did it I thought he'd left me but as he's done it before I don't know his game and don't want to try and work it out.

Why don’t you know what to do? Surely what you do is end the relationship. He’s awful and makes you miserable. Why on earth are you hanging on to this?

It's not the first time he's blocked me when I've tried to raise concerns. He unblocked me the next day and acted like nothing happened. Can I just take it as over, no need to tell him anything and leave it?

Heavens yes! Block him and leave him blocked. And don't go out with people who block you when you raise concerns and treat you so badly. Please take some time to work on yourself so you understand you have agency in these things. You are not at his behest. You can end things and not be kept dangling.

Why bother trying to understand him? He’s trying to keep you guessing, so just stop guessing. You don’t need his permission to end the relationship. You also don’t owe him an explanation. If you feel you want to say something, just say it isn’t working for you anymore.

Yes it’s over. You don’t have to tell him, he’ll know when he cannot get hold of you and who cares anyway? He treats you appallingly, I’m cross on your behalf.