Don't know what to do

[Welcometothedigitalcircus]

Been with bf 2 years. 15 year age difference. He denies it but is very insecure and constantly criticises everything about me.

If I tell him something positive I did or want to do he says how he's done it so many times and it's rubbish. If I tell him something getting to me and why even if not about us it feels like he actively tries to fuel my sadness. Example I mentioned I'm insecure about my body and within hours he discusses models he fancies, how he can get any girl. He also criticises my driving a lot as he knew it took a lot of confidence for me to drive and I feel like he is actively trying to make me insecure and upset so he's the better one??

He used to feel so threatened about me being younger convinced I'd leave for someone else, hates me having male friends and says how awful women are constantly as we no longer conform to traditional roles.

I'm really despising him. He has been away 3 weeks so I've been doing my own thing and it's come to a head as I realise I don't miss him and since hearing from him I have a knot in my stomach.

God he sounds controlling and awful op.

You can do so much better.

Chuck him back and move on.

It's time to say goodbye

I wouldn't just throw it, I'd take a fucking hammer to it.

He is a fun sponge. I always run away from people with those sorts of negative vibes. They have a special way of eroding your spirit in the end. Misery voyeurism is their national sport of choice. Dumped ex for being like that...a bottle half empty sort. Dump your boyfriend and move on. He won't get better, and he will get older...much older quicker because of his out look on life which would age anyone. Fast forward 10-20 years when you would be tasked as carer to a then more elderly even grumpier man, and responsible for his daily life needs. I suppose that gives you the shivers and so it should. Run....

Bloody idiot, don’t bother trying to contact him anymore, move on mentally and physically

Don't leave the ball in his court. U have said the 3 weeks without him.wre hood. Make ur decision to know your worth, rise the bit. U will have times u miss him.or some of the nice things he did, but stay firm. Uou deserve better.

Thank GOD you have blocked him and ordered a new sim.

And yes, take dash cam out ASAP.

He sounds like an utter creep!

Can he keep tabs on me with dashcam? 😕

He is a fun sponge. Never anything nice to say, always critical. If we go out anywhere he makes derogatory comments about everyone. In the last 3 months I've probably seen him over 2, 3 weeks. It's really draining. I'm almost used to life without him.

I think it depends what sort of dashcam it is and how its footage is accessed.

Most likely he'd need physical access to the car to get footage (the type I have, you have to get its sd card out manually) but if it's accessed remotely, he probably can if he set it up.

I'd get rid of it anyhow. You never wanted it, so away with it! 🙂

So if he unblocks you then you block him and move on. Sounds like he deliberately puts you down because he is so insecure about the relationship or you leaving so he’s trying to make you feel worthless. After only 2 years this isn’t the way a relationship should be

Id be out at this - “he says how awful women are constantly as we no longer conform to traditional roles.”

nope. Be single.

Op, I think you need to look at ways to build your self confidence
You've done so well to realise what he is doing to you, so well done on that.
Be proud that you've stood up for yourself and will recognise this manipulative behaviour much quicker in the future.

Why would you want to be with a fun sponge who criticises and blocks you? It's no way to live your live.

He's really shattered my self esteem. Feel rubbish but nowhere near as scared of being put down. If I so anything he doesn't like he does this.

This! @GreyCarpet

Is the insecure older man a common issue then?

He's not that much into you sorry...He doesn't even seems to like you.Leave, and let him go be with these women he claims that he can get..

He isn't insecure. He's twisted, controlling, and manipulative. He thrives off of fueling your sadness. He is proactively trying to break you down.

Perhaps therapy would be beneficial for you. ..especially to help you understand why you coupled and why you continue to stay with someone like him...amongst other things.

Why do you feel like this is the best you can do? Why is "this" better than being single, or finding someone compatible and actually in to you genuinely?

Find your worth. Find self esteem. Find self love. . Once you find these things, never let them go.

Not insecure - controlling, I would say.

Controlling partners are a common issue, yeah. They are quite frequently older, hoping to use the power dynamic of life experience/ greater financial stability etc to dominate the younger partner. Made-up scenarios of sexual jealousy are often a stick to beat the partner with.

He has said before I should listen to his experience but honestly he doesn't have much. He didn't leave home until 40 and all his experiences are done with his parents. No relationship beyond a year, he quit his job due to bullying female manager (he emphasised the female bit). He comes across that he hates all women. He said he feels insecure about the loss of traditional make/ female role. If I talk to any guy he shoots me dirty look. He's attacked me verbally unprovoked twice since September and it's like being on eggshells.

If you’re walking on eggshells, it’s time to prepare to leave. I’ve been there, it’s horrendous. You can’t live in fear of the person who is supposed to love you! Your future would be much brighter without him. Someone once told me ‘There’s nothing lonelier than the wrong relationship’…when my marriage went downhill I had that ringing in my ears.

He's a small minded sexist twat. He is with a younger woman cause one his own age will see right through his shite, not diminishing you but with age comes experience and you learn to spot the twats.
You know what needs to be done, free yourself from his negativity. You must be a very capable, intelligent woman that you threaten him so much. Don't let him dim your light any more.

When you start to despise the one who's supposed to enhance your life, it's time to tell them you're done
I guarantee without this bully criticising everything you do and say, your self esteem and confidence will grow
He's making you doubt yourself
You'll meet someone at some point who you enjoy being with

Thanks everyone. New number installed. Not heard at all no attempts to turn up or anything. Fingers crossed this is the end of it.

@Welcometothedigitalcircus

GOOD and well done YOU!!! Now just enjoy the peace and calm.

Enjoy it, but keep your guard up for a wee bit yet. Especially if he's still away and/or he hasn't unblocked you. He may still think he's 'in control' (we know better) and may try other ways to contact you once he realizes you've slipped the net.

OP well done leaving an abuser in boyfriends cloths isn’t easy.

You are stronger and more beautiful than he ever said you were x x
Stay strong and be happy