Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Neighbour problems (AIBU/Are THEY Being unreasonable)?

79 replies

NoKids2 · 20/11/2023 20:04

In May last year my husband and I (with some friends helping) had to take down a tree in our front garden as it was looking like it might come down uncontrolled of its own accord. Things did not go to plan and it fell into our neighbours garden, breaking a stone birdbath and damaging 2 Leylandii forming part of their hedge. We apologised (a lot) and said we would obviously pay for any damage/replace items.

It's not really relevant but he was an arse. DH and I agreed that if the roles had been reversed, we would have at least checked if everyone was ok, then grabbed our chainsaws and helped clean up. Our neighbour came out, got angry (understandable) but stood taking photos "in case he needed them at a later date" or standing with his arms folded making nasty comments as the 5 of us cleaned up the mess we'd made. I did ask him at one point to stop saying the things he was saying.

Later that night we set up a whatsapp group with the 4 of us. DH apologised again and repeated that "we are happy to settle reasonable costs/replace and damaged items". We got an amicable response saying had the bushes been broken they would need replacing but it's just skinned some bark off 2 of them so "they'll survive for a time" (I'll be honest, the 'for a time' hadn't meant anything to me until I re-read the message this morning), and that the bird bath base is fine and they'd get a replacement top.

A couple of weeks later (I think, it was a long time ago!), I saw his wife gardening so I went out to talk to her and said we hadn't settled up regarding the bird bath. She told me not to worry about it. I think she said they had found a replacement, but I might be remembering that incorrectly. She assured me not to worry about the money.

For the last 18 months he has blanked us completely, every time we've tried to say hi. He's a bit of an odd character (public forum!! I'm being polite...) so we didn't lose sleep over it. His wife has always been perfectly lovely.

Last night, 18 months later, we received another message on the whatsapp group. He complained we never went round and had a conversation and demanded £360, providing their bank details. £80 for the bird bath (or gave us the option of buying one for them and deducting it from the total, which we would never do without knowing what they wanted) and £280 for 2 Leylandii. A quick google tells me a 5ft Leylandii costs £18 and a 7 ft Leylandii costs £45 - I'm not much of a gardener so there may be subtleties about Leylandii I'm missing but how much variation can there be!!

DH and I are livid as our understanding was that it was all resolved 18 months ago. I'm more upset because I've lived in a LOT of places and always got on with my neighbours and now we've bought what we considered to be a long term/forever home we end up with this kind of tension. DH is just really angry about the way this guy has gone about things and feels he is trying to rip us off, and that had he subsequently decided the bushes needed replacing our neighbour should have come and had a conversation. I agree with DH btw. While I don't really want to, I've said to DH I want a face to face conversation as i don't think whatsapp is helpful (unless documenting any agreement after the fact) but they have people over at the moment and I'm out tomorrow night so it will have to wait until Wednesday. I’m tempted to just let him reply to the message but I want to be the bigger person/people and feel like we’ve made an effort to clear things up properly. I am under no illusion, knowing this guys character that there is no rose-tinted outcome here.

On the one hand, how has this gone on for 18 months! My point of view is that taking all the behaviour out of the equation we did damage their property and should be willing to pay REASONABLE compensation, which in my view is NOT £360.

Am I being too soft? too hard?

OP posts:
Unwisebutnotillegal · 08/02/2024 13:35

GingerRedBull · 20/11/2023 20:30

Well you didn't think you needed qualifcations to take a tree down, and look how well that went... If you'd paid for it to be done properly you wouldn't be in this situation.

This. You did a lot of damage to their garden and then seem surprised that he was annoyed. What you did could have potentially been a lot worse, pay up and try restore peace.

GreenGoddessGardener · 05/03/2024 23:49

It’s so disappointing to read about so many neighbourhood disputes regarding ‘leylandii’! Personally I think it should never be used in an urban environment. It grows like a weed and nothing grows underneath as it removes nutrients from the soil. There are so many other more attractive and less invasive hedges that can be planted.

I personally think ‘Leylandii’ should only be sold to farms and large landowners as they make great wind-breaks. Other than that they should never be used!

Nextdoor55 · 03/11/2024 09:44

To be honest I think that's very reasonable. I'd just pay it & next time get a tree surgeon to deal with your tree to avoid exactly this sort of thing.
If the shoe was on the other foot it's easy to imagine how you'd feel? Isn't it?
I'd send the money with the reassurance that this will be drawing a line under the issues. Apologise again - the neighbour relationship is the most important thing here. But I'd make sure they know that this is the only payment & will finalise the matter.
Something like
"Thank you for the bill for the issues resulting from the removal of our tree, apologies again, we will pay the full & final payment of £xxx into your account"

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 03/11/2024 10:02

Another one who thinks that's a very reasonable price for clearing two old trees and replanting two new ones. It's going to take two people and/or expensive equipment to do properly. Even then it won't look the same. The kind of mature trees you see at Chelsea each year are grown for years in special pots so that they can survive being transplanted and look as if they've always been there. Consequently they are extremely expensive. Be thankful he doesn't expect you to replant like for like.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread