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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I'm interested in your opinions... if your ex was saying this...

54 replies

Onehouratatime · 20/11/2023 19:39

If your ex was saying he wanted to talk to see if you could fix things after 2 months of you being blocked by him (no reason for this just blocked me when I was trying to talk through our issues) then you found out he was on not one but two dating apps.... would this bother you? How would you feel?

I knew about one dating app, my friend saw him on it and told me about it and then my other friend found him a few days later on another dating app also this is in the time period we are talking again... I get he is single but asking if we can try and see if we can fix things but it's head fucking that while doing that he's active on dating apps and want your opinions please

OP posts:

Newnamehiwhodis · 20/11/2023 19:41

I would block him, and keep him blocked.
he’s finding out it’s not as easy to meet good women who are up for a shag as he’d thought, isn’t he? Too bad. Don’t get reeled back in.

80s · 20/11/2023 19:43

I would not want to talk about how to fix things with someone that rude, whether they were on dating apps or not.

category12 · 20/11/2023 19:45

He blocked you for months and now he's sniffing around again?

I'd think he's going through a dry spell and hoping to get laid.

NotObligedToArgueWithStrangers · 20/11/2023 19:45

I'd think he'd realised the grass isn't greener after all and was thinking of crawling back. I'd also tell him to fuck off.

HerRoyalNotness · 20/11/2023 19:57

No, block and be thankful you’re not with him anymore

Original poster

Onehouratatime · 20/11/2023 20:04

He has made quite a few references to sex to be honest when we spoke.... I did think this to he fair I just didn't want to believe it. Bastard.

I pulled him for not disclosing he's also on tinder. He thought it was irrelevant 🤣 wow

OP posts:

BCBird · 20/11/2023 20:06

Know your worth op.

glitterfinder · 20/11/2023 20:06

Narcissistic hoovering attempt. Look it up. Let this one go.

NoKids2 · 20/11/2023 20:09

Honestly, I hope If I'm ever in this situation I am feeling good enough about myself to laugh in his face.

No Thanks, Block

Psychoticbreak · 20/11/2023 20:14

He would stay an ex forever.

AllAroundMyCat · 20/11/2023 20:18

He's tickling you. Don't fall for it.
Just block him.

Original poster

Onehouratatime · 20/11/2023 21:45

Thanks all xx

OP posts:

MikeRafone · 20/11/2023 21:47

I’d laugh

nah don’t fancy a chat,
Bye bye

Crushed23 · 20/11/2023 21:51

If it was my ex I’d be very happy and would text back straight way - but I’m still in love with my ex.

If you’re over him / not interested in getting back together, then definitely take the advice on this thread and block him.

NewbieSM · 20/11/2023 22:10

I mean I'm biased as my name is Alexandra and my sister's is Anna and I think they go well together. That being said I hated my name as child as it felt too grown up and formal so was called Allie when I was younger. As an adult however I like my name and I have the choice of using a nickname or not. Go by Alex with my colleagues and friends now, only my family use my full name. I don't love the trend of using nicknames as a formal first name, seems somewhat unfinished in a way but you do you!

defiantoutsider · 20/11/2023 22:19

I dumped my ex husband and he asked if we could meet for coffees !?!? I'm life wtf for? Get outta here!
I dumped my daughter's dad in 1995 then moved out of town. Moved back 2 years ago to be nearer to my daughter and grandson. Her deluded dad is still trying to get me back and gets told ftho every time. 😂

Original poster

Onehouratatime · 21/11/2023 00:25

I was Interested in getting back together tbh we arranged last Tuesday to meet Saturday to talk...we spoke on the phone Friday and I asked him to be accountable basically in his mistakes in our relationship and all of a sudden I was told I was picking on him? And maybe we should leave meeting the next day! My friend found his tinder profile Saturday eve my other friend refound his bumble profile Saturday eve (I knew about it 2 weeks prior) only to discover it was updated with new pictures yet he claims he didn't ever speak to anyone on there - because he wasn't interested and was missing me.
I haven't replied to his last message he sent Sunday morning where he says he understands I'm hurt he would be hurt too if the shoe was on the other foot..... I don't know

OP posts:

Pinkbonbon · 21/11/2023 00:34

I'd think he was repulsive.

I'd tell him 'lol, fuck right off' and then I'd block him on everything.

He blocked you to 'punish' you for daring to call him out on his shit. Now he's hoping you'll take him back with a blank slate and kiss his arse cause you missed him. Like, nah, jog on asshole.

As pps said, he probably wasn't having enough luck finding another mark online. He's q fake qnd a cheat. Block him.

LifeExperience · 21/11/2023 01:18

He only wants you for sex, OP. Have higher standards.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 21/11/2023 01:50

I'd feel super smug he's came crawling back and happily say " sorry, I have moved on and I suggest you do to" and block him.

DatingDinosaur · 21/11/2023 08:19

Yes it would bother me. I would feel irritated, possibly angry (that he thinks he can play me like this). No I wouldn’t entertain any meeting/talking to fix things. I’d just say “no thanks, there’s nothing to fix, it’s obvious we’re not right for each other, bye”.

If I was feeling particularly spiteful I'd also add "but thank you for helping me realise this"

Olika · 21/11/2023 08:32

Why would you want to get back with him?

AgentJohnson · 21/11/2023 08:57

Stop it right now! This man is never going to be the decent human that you want him to be. Find your self respect and block and never look back.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 21/11/2023 09:23

we spoke on the phone Friday and I asked him to be accountable basically in his mistakes in our relationship and all of a sudden I was told I was picking on him? And maybe we should leave meeting the next day!

So basically...

He's been trying to get laid via dating apps and hasn't been able to
He dangled a carrot of reconciliation in front of you, hoping it would lead to a shag, preferably followed by an ongoing casual fuck buddy arrangement until he finds something better, followed by him going "but babe you know I said I wasn't ready to restart our relationship..."
You then made it clear that before getting down to bedroom stuff, he'd be required to do some emotional labour
He has now decided that's waaaaaaay too much effort just for a shag

Block this chancer and set your sights higher. Take some time for yourself alone, to think about what you really want from a relationship, and make a deal with yourself that you won't settle for less than what you need.

Dery · 21/11/2023 10:41

@Onehouratatime: Why were you interested in getting back with someone who just blocked you for 2 months when you tried to discuss your relationship? Why did you imagine he was decent relationship material? You’re worth so much more. What did you learn about relationships growing up that made you think he might have been worth another try?

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