My boyfriend recently followed a female work colleague on Instagram and he’s now going out with her alone

[Goldbracelet24]

Firstly, my boyfriend and I love eachother and enjoy eachothers company.
A few weeks ago I saw him looking at his phone, and I saw a girls profile before he turned it off. I remembered the name but didn’t think too much more about the incident.
I recently saw him follow a girl by the same name on Instagram and she followed him back.
Me and my boyfriend like trying to new venues at night and he’s mentioned taking someone else, perhaps a work colleague, to a new one he wants to try. He won’t be able to go with me as I won’t be able to go due to other circumstances at this time.
He told me today it will be with this female colleague, and the name matches up. So they will be going out together until maybe midnight in a new bar/ club. He assured me that they’re just friends.
I’m ok with him getting lunch with her at work, but I feel like this is over stepping too much.
Do you guys have any thoughts?

I’m so sorry
he’s an ass and it sounds like he will be an ex boyfriend most likely very soon
sorry ! But this screams bad news

Nah.

Give him a hard stare and tell him he can try this place out when you can go.

Hmm but why can't he wait and check out the new venue with you?

I mean ultimately it depends how much you trust him. Do you think he would be happy for you to go out with an unknown male colleague in the evening to check out a new venue?

Do you think he would be absolutely A OK if you did the very same thing with a male coworker?

I think it's going too far, even if they go with good intentions, alcohol, just them, its asking for trouble, why is picking a young woman he works with, that you haven't heard of before rather than a group of them or his mates, it would be the end for me.

He's basically gone on a date with her!

Why don't you do that, tell him no problem you'll go with " named man " next weekend, see how he reacts to that.

This feels off to me. It’s all a bit date-like, even if he doesn’t see it that way.

The very fact you check who he follows on instagram and who follows him back is already a sign that you don't trust him to be fair.

This. What is your gut telling you?

@OhComeOnFFS THIS 100%

Hate to break it to you, but your boyfriend is going out on a date, and it's not with you.

Is there a reason why you don't trust him? Do you not believe men can have female friends?

That's practically telling you he's out on a date with another woman, no?

I have quite a few male friends but I don’t think I’d go out alone with them to a new bar/ club & definitely not if I’d only just met them! Seems off for sure.

Not in the slightest bit appropriate.

He's going on a date as you gut is telling you.

He's trying out a new woman. They'll get drunk and get closer and probably be an item by this time next month.

He is checking out. Sorry to be blunt , OP.

Absolutely not! Lunch while they are working is no big deal! Dinner is a date!!!! You can’t stop him going out with her that’s his choice but you vote with your feet and leave! Nobody should be sat at home while their boyfriend is on a date!!!

Sure I've read this before.

Nope he can jog on. He’s pushing his luck!

OP hasn't said that he's just met her (I think you imagined that bit!)

Contrary to the majority, I don't think there's anything wrong with two friends of the opposite sex going out in the evening together. I have quite a few male friends (I work in a traditionally male industry) and go out in the evening with them, especially if we have a hobby/interest in common. Nothing romantic/underhand is going on. We're friends, we have a laugh, we give each other advice etc. I'm horrified how many posters are clutching their pearls about this. It's the 21st century. Men and women can be friends you know. They even have friends of the opposite sex and be happy in their relationships.

Well that's not ok.

If it was a group thing, fine. But not a solo women.

Yes friend of the opposite sex are OK. But there are boundaries. If it was a life long friend that nothing had ever happened with then maybe that's OK as it's a public place. But a new work friend? Absolutely not ok to go places solo with them...I'd even frown at a work lunch but maybe that's understandable if they are both leaving and returning to work at the same place.

As is, instant dump.
Has no respect for you.

Wouldn't be surprised if he told her he was single or that you two are on a break or some such shit.

Tell him not to bother coming back to you

This feels off to me too. I think because I probably wouldn't even plan to go to a bar/club with just one female friend. It's the sort of thing that's more fun in a group...unless you're there as a couple.