My boyfriend recently followed a female work colleague on Instagram and he’s now going out with her alone

[Goldbracelet24]

Firstly, my boyfriend and I love eachother and enjoy eachothers company.
A few weeks ago I saw him looking at his phone, and I saw a girls profile before he turned it off. I remembered the name but didn’t think too much more about the incident.
I recently saw him follow a girl by the same name on Instagram and she followed him back.
Me and my boyfriend like trying to new venues at night and he’s mentioned taking someone else, perhaps a work colleague, to a new one he wants to try. He won’t be able to go with me as I won’t be able to go due to other circumstances at this time.
He told me today it will be with this female colleague, and the name matches up. So they will be going out together until maybe midnight in a new bar/ club. He assured me that they’re just friends.
I’m ok with him getting lunch with her at work, but I feel like this is over stepping too much.
Do you guys have any thoughts?

I also don’t align with the views on here and have no issue with men and women being friends, my own daughter has male friends and goes out with them on her own, it does not mean she wants to date them or shag them, they are friends.

the issue here is you don’t trust him and are jealous and insecure. Only he and the female know if this is innocent or not,if it is, then he needs to end his relationship with you quickly, you cannot dictate he’s only permitted to have lunch at work with female friends. If it’s not he needs to end it, as that’s cheating and you’re clearly both young and he’s no need to stay in this relationship

so either way, I think it needs to end, I’m sorry.

If something smells off, that is because it is off.

He knows his intentions towards this female colleague. And so do you.

I’ve been out for drinks/food with one male colleague several times and I’ve no intention of jumping into bed with him. We are also friends on Facebook and instagram.

That’s very naive, and ignores the fact that mental health issues like jealousy, low self esteem, paranoia, insecurity, are very real indeed. If something smells off it could be easily due to one of those things.

Exactly. An activity is not inherently a date.

A walk, a drink in a pub, a late night in a bar, a gig, a show, a dinner - I have done all these things as dates. I have also done them all one-on-one with friends and they were definitely not dates. And I have done them all one-on-one with colleagues/work contacts and they were, again, definitely not dates.

Ladies, if you read the post by @MsDogLady you’ll see that this man has form for trying to triangulate and devalue the OP with other women.

Using words like insecurity, jealousy, mental health issues pushes women into places where they don’t respect and value their own boundaries for fear of being deemed neurotic or crazy.

You may potentially feel safe in a relationship where this kind of behaviour is acceptable, and good for you. Lots of women wouldn’t. It doesn’t make them neurotic it means they have different lines in the sand.

If the relationship does not make you feel safe you leave it. You shouldn’t stay and move your line in the sand for fear of being called crazy!

He assured me that they’re just friends

Sure they are.

I'm surprised you've got the responses you've had here because usually there is no shortage of cool women who insist that other women must view any male & female relationship as platonic (if the man says so), otherwise they're some green-eyed harridan.

They may be, and remain, just friends. They may start off with the intention of being friends and become more. He may have no intention of just being friends and wants to hide an affair in plain sight. All of these things happen in mixed sex friendships, and no one knows what might happen here.
Its entirely up to you if you want this sort of friendship to be a feature in your relationship, but often it doesnt go well.

OP, I'm sorry but he's hoping to check out a bit more than the new venue.

Understandable I'd say.

I’ll bet his new work friend isn’t 70 year old Betty from Accounts and he’s not taking her to a stitch and bitch macramé club down the new community centre.

Yes funny how these new work ‘friendships’ are never with Colin from accounts (yes I know that’s a Tv show). It’s the same with the threads on here about new running/ dog walking buddies. It’s always young women.