Should I text him or leave it?

[Jbrum]

So- I went on a date with a guy last Sunday. I thought we hit it off fairly well. He even asked me to stay about for longer and grab a drink after the date so I did, went super well.

Anyway, we messaged back and fourth after the date on Sunday and Monday. Then suddenly I just heard nothing off him since and we’re on Thursday now? Which is weird. I wanted to text him and say “hey you okay☺️” but I also don’t want to feel like I’m begging him to talk to me??

I actually really enjoyed the date and it was his idea to go on a second one after and then even go out for more drinks so it was so strange?? I don’t want to look like a complete beggar

I think you should text him, just once, and see what reply you get (if he replies). At least then you will know if he is interested in seeing you again. If not, you can move on and won’t be left wondering.

Never understood why people act like this tbh.

Text him once then leave the ball in his court.

What was the last text you sent, or the jist? Is it his 'turn' as in did you ask a question; or could he be thinking the same as you are?

Leave it. It's an unpopular view on mumsnet, but you'll know if a man is interested.

Exactly. But he was the one wanting to go on more dates. We went out after did. Talked about meeting again, also he even said he wanted to plan something over message. I said “yeah would be good as long as you sure. Don’t want you to feel pressured to having to go out again” he said it was nothing like that and would love to.

men make no sense

He's met someone else he likes more?

I would leave it as well

This.

Could he just be busy with work or kids? Maybe he's one that messages closer to the date to arrange and forget you have to keep the conversation going and can't just ask for a meet up the day before

Always possible yes!

I tend to agree with this I'm afraid. Never met a man yet who wouldn't move heaven and earth when he was interested

This even

But you haven't texted him either. Maybe he is thinking the same as you just now.

I don’t know if they tend to move heaven and earth after one date. My ex would have for sure but we had so much history. One date isn’t enough surely?

yeah would be good as long as you sure. Don’t want you to feel pressured to having to go out again

What made you say this? Was there a reason you thought he felt pressured to meet you again? Don't mean to be rude but if not that is likely to have come across a bit unusual after a carefree date. Maybe try one more message to regain the fun footing? Leave it if not.

The hopeful view is that he isn’t sure how you feel and is waiting for you to make a move but in truth I don’t think I’ve met a man so sensitive and tbh if someone was that passive I think I wouldn’t be interested anyway

The sadly more likely view is that he was still on dating apps etc, met up with someone else in the meantime who he liked more (or more likely let the extra drink he enjoys persuading women to stay for turned into sex) and so he’s just dropped you.

Dating is brutal and people can be utterly spineless.

Dust yourself off and move on. Tempting as it is to try one more text just in case an elephant ate his phone and he hasn’t now got your number, it really shouldn’t be this hard at the start of a relationship if its a good one.

I'd just message him what have you got to lose? Either way if he is ghosting you its not nice and you won't see him again and he's not going to think you are overally egar if its been 2 days id say irs quite normal to message someone daily or minimum every 2 days when trying to build a relationship of some sort

I just meant I said after the date “would be great to see you again soon” he said “yeah I’d like that. I’ll organise something when I’m free” so I said “yeah cool. Would be great. Please don’t feel pressured though I would understand if you don’t want to”
his response was “no don’t be silly. I want to” then went radio silent😂

Yeah it’s bloody rude though. I have to say. Could be my karma for running away from my last date😂

Leave it and move on. If he was in test yes you'd have heard by now. Sorry OP.

He's got someone else to meet, or he has already met someone he prefers or he enjoyed the date and liked you but not that much....

It's a long time since I last dated but I remember coming up with endless good reasons why a guy hadn't called yet. It never ended well.

He is probably not interested as the weekend is approaching. However I do agree with you that someone is not likely to move heaven and earth after just one date. It can be just someone not being sure about you or not bothered or met someone else. If you want to know, you could send a short friendly text and see how he responds.

I fear your self esteem is not as strong as it ought to be. Why would you say this - especially this: Please don’t feel pressured though I would understand if you don’t want to. You are selling yourself short!

Not long left my ex partner so my self esteem hit rock bottom🥹