Affair partners Spouse

[AmericanLady21]

I had a connection (emotional affair) with a man nothing physical ever happened, I am waiting for bowel cancer results as im in constant pain and bleeding so don't want to do anything physical anyway! I went away to my friends house (she lets rooms out as a b&b) and he came there with me but still nothing ever happened my friend was there too the whole time ... it has ended however whilst it's ended his wife has found out and he tried to play it off as a one night stand kinda thing thinking she'd never know who I am and they can work on their marriage etc etc and told me that's what he was doing... since this moment I have had numerous messages threatening to come to my house, tell me husband if I lie to her etc etc and whilst I know nothing physical happened I haven't told my husband but I have gone along with AP lie to his wife and answered her questions as I thought he would want me too to help them and ensure she doesn't say anything but she is still messaging me threatening me what do I do?

This just screams untrue to me, how did the wife find out if It was all via phone calls? Why on earth would you admit to sleeping with him if you haven't?! I'm sorry but it is his wife I feel sorry for and your husband. You both knew exactly what you were doing and the implications involved. Do the decent thing and come clean with the full truth to them both. Then block her and him and don't engage with it any further.

So weird that you’re talking such utter crap on an anonymous website. It’s an affair that was actually an emotional affair, except it wasn’t, it was just a friendship, apart from the fact really you and your ‘affair partner’ are just more just acquaintances, you’ve barely ever spoken, and you don’t really know him well but you told his wife you fucked him because… you’re not well? Because your mum died? Because he needed a cover story, this man you barely know? All making perfect sense.

Yeah this is bullshit.

I had a connection (emotional affair) with a man nothing physical ever happened,

it has ended however whilst it's ended his wife has found out and he tried to play it off as a one night stand kinda thing thinking she'd never know who I am and they can work on their marriage etc

This is not just a friendship OP, it’s an emotional affair. Those are your words above.

The only way to regain control is to tell your husband yourself. If she does, it will look exactly like it is, an emotional affair which you have hidden from him.
Tell him, tell her you’ve told him and are deeply sorry, and never contact the other man or his wife again if you want to save your marriage.

I forgot to add that no man having an innocent friendship with a woman would decide to call it a one night stand to his wife unless he knew there was definitely a bigger emotional line that had been crossed. He appears to think it was so bad that calling it a one night stand to his wife is a better idea! Again, this was not just a friendship.

For many people an emotional affair is just as devastating as a one night stand if not more.

Your husband should know that you turned to someone else.

Back to the drawing board op I think for a new explanation.

By the sounds of it, you've already blocked her and she's got a new number and been able to continue her interogation tactics. It sounds awful but if you feel scared I would contact the police, especially if you daren't go to the shop.

Really if you told your h, he may not forgive you, but maybe he may protect you from this wife on the warpath.

Looks like you picked the wrong woman's husband to have an affair, friendship, whatever it is, with.

You’re spot on, what a waste of our time.
Op, I’m sorry but you’ll need more than all these incoherent nonsense to convince your husband that this is not a full blown affair when the guys wife tells him.

Men don't think that way. It's all about the sex. More likely he thinks owning up to this shag will deflect his wife from the full blown affair happening with someone else.

You're going to need to get your story straighter than this OP, before his wife gets hold of your husband and you've got some explaining to do. This waffle isn't going to do you any favours.

As you said you didn't share a room or bed, then there is nothing to hide. You were friends, and he has dragged you into this mess. I would be sending him a message saying that you are not the fall guy for his affairs and would be telling his wife.

Maybe his actual affair partner was her sister/brother or something that is worse.

@PosterBoy I’m not sure women think that way either, I based it on the assumption that this is an innocent friendship. Pretty sure if my partner said “no, of course we’re not friends, but I had sex with her one night” I wouldn’t be telling him “ah, that’s ok then, it was only sex” 🤷🏼‍♀️
If a man genuinely was having an innocent friendship with a woman and his wife felt it was more than that, are you seriously saying they’d think it was a better idea to say they’d had a one night stand with them? Sex with someone else is going to sound better to a wife than “don’t be daft, she’s a friend and colleague? When it didn’t even happen? So are you saying this man is having a full blown affair with someone else? I must have missed something in this thread. This whole thing is becoming more bizarre by the minute.

I think he slept with op once (or to give her the benefit of the doubt, flirted with her) but is having a full on affair or affairs with others - possibly someone close to his wife - and this is to throw her off the scent.

It's got to be something pretty dynamite that admitting to a one night stand is the better option

No he doesn't, and this is an example of how little it mattered to me...

Bullshit It's an indicator of how far you've elevated yourself over your husband. Grow the futtock up.

@PosterBoy yes, that’s what I meant. Who the heck would think saying an innocent friendship was a one night stand would think this was the best thing to invent for their suspicious wife? Still all so bizarre.

What a bizarre pile of bullshit.

She didn’t sleep with him, she’s only PRETENDING she did to placate his wife (I know!!)

@AmericanLady21 What was the emotional affair bit? Did you say you loved or fancied each other?

I know that a friend had a time when he went along with stuff when he was ill that he would never have tolerated in the normal run of things.

Praying for better health and less drama for you x.

Who has a secret friendship to the extent of weekends away? It doesn't add up TBH.

The theead is utter gibberish. Best let it end.

why ?